Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Praying to Allah to marry a girl

Assalamualaikum

I wanna ask that can we ask allah to marry someone we love?.

Im 17 years old, im depressed and have social anxiety  and i dont have any friends. I met a girl online  when my depression started and i didnt have any friends. I still dont have anyone besides her. I know depression is not an excuse to talk to a girl but plz listen. We met and became great friends. We started to talk on social media and fell in love. I pray every night in tahujjud and ask allah to let me marry her and make a way so that we can marry. I just said " My wish is that i get to spend my life with u ", i didnt use any haraam words nor we ever used them. We both are religious. I used to do haram things and watch bad stuff... I guess u know what im talking about. The one that makes ghusal obligatory after u do it. Yeah. So i used to do it but alhamdulilah i repented and now i pray 6 times a day ( tahujjud included)  and i read quran after each prayer every single day. I have almost read half of it. I also do a lot of dhikr, allahu akabr, subhan allah, allahuma aghfirli, etc after each prayer. I usually recite each 100,200 times.

My question is that can we marry each other if we pray to allah :(, i cant leave her, i know its not allowed to talk like that but i ask forgiveness for her and myself from allah everyday. I just wanna marry her which is totallt allowed in islam. Our Prophet ( PBUH)  said ' The best thing for two who love each other is marriage".  Will i be able to marry her if i pray to allah 🙁 its my wish. I never wanted anything so bad 🙁 i can wait 10,20,30 years for her, as much as it takes. Plz answer my question. Her father is really strict 🙁 she cant tell him that she wanna marry me. We live in different cities but it only takes 4,5 hours to travel to her city. My parents wont say anything i know, they arent strict. So can anyone plz answer? That will i be able to marry her if i pray to allah 🙁 Allah is our only hope and soure right now. Jazak Allah.  My elder sister know's that  we both want to marry. 

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7 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaykum Weirdo 611,

    You should ask your parents if they will send a proposal to the girl's family for marriage.

    Best,

    Nor

  2. Salam Weirdo 611,

    Guess you need 911, you seem to be in a big twist-e-roo game XD

    Let me tell you this one thing. I used to be on this website last year as well with a different name. I got in touch with a guy from this website and we ended up talking for about 5-6 months. I'm getting nostalgic vibes from this post. He had the same "no friends" thing and was socially isolated and had that masturbation habit you mentioned. We continued our conversations despite Wael deleting some of our comments and stuff. We had loooooong long conversations after we connected on email and ended up liking each other romantically after a couple of months. I mean come on, I saw it coming, Shaytaan was between us since the start but we got too carried away to notice.

    We made promises and spun our own future and began talking about how amazing it would be if we got married. We started doing Istikhara, prayed for each other, made each other better Islamically and we both prayed Tahajjud as well to get our wishes fulfilled. It was crazy because of how real everything had begun to look. Of course, I was stupid and I sinned a lot. That's a part of last year I'm rubbing off my memory.

    But guess what happened?? Yeah so a week or so ago, out of curiosity I began looking up that dudes email and social media, it clicked me in a long time to notice how discrete he always was about his information. After calling up a few of my friends and doing heavy research, I ended up knowing that EVERYTHING he mentioned about himself was fake. Absolutely a lie. And we haven't been in contact ever since and I hope he never returns.

    So what my advice here is, well, Internet relationships rarely work. Trust me, very very rare. And have you ever met this girl you speak of? Like face to face, not just online. Don't put your heart in this....please, you're gonna regret it soon enough. And you're just 17, look at your age.One-seven. You can't get married now, you have to study now. You and I both have to keep ourselves off these internet/real-life fantasies and study now. You already seem so obsessed with her, I'm not blaming you, it's okay to fall in love or like someone. But don't let it get in the way of your snaity please.

    And as far as praying is concerned, of course you can pray to get married to this girl or to any girl you want to. But I just hope you know what you're praying for, okay?? I don't know man, just imagine: The girl you're praying for all this while just isn't someone you thought she was. You could've been praying for greater things, so much in this world to pray about.

    Sorry I sound so pessimistic, my comment is just a warning to you because this is mostly what I say to people pursuing relationships online i.e the ones they have never met in real life. The web is a weird ass place. Good and bad. Like a Yin-Yang. And plus some people edit their pictures online SO MUCH that once you meet them in real life, you're going to be in a situation asking the person who's apparently your lover about where your lover is?? Trust me, all kinds of things occur online.

    And look at you, you were already depressed and had that addiction and social anxiety, etc. So when a pretty nice girl came along, you got attached to her because you saw her as an escape, as an only way to free this isolated mind of yours. So, I need you to ask yourself about why you love her and if you do, do you love her or do you just want her because you have no one else but her?

    JASAJHSDAJHKDHDASHJ

    I JUST REALIZED IM BEING SO PESSIMISTIC AND SO CAUGHT UP IN THINKING ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS ARE SHIT.

    I'm just gonna row to the other side of the lake.

    Okay so brother, if this girl is really genuine and you really want her, then definitely keep praying. But study as well, because you're just 17 and you can't get married now. Secondly, keep praying again because there are fewer chances the parents of a 17-year-old would send a proposal to a girls house. Try asking again when you turn 21- that is, if the girl is still around.

    Sigh.

    Take care and good luck

    • What?
      You found a guy here, on this website? never knew this was allowed

      ANYWAYS, yes internet relationships are very bad ive had one, the girl was a complete liar, and had a terrible family, she told me i was the first person in her life , i wasnt i was the 3rd

      So yeah its all fake
      We must start to like our loneliness. Be happy in our own company

      • I like that last line. I need to start finding peace in solitude. Actually, all of us young people pursuing love/relationships before marriage should realize that. Now that I'm out of most things, I realize how cringey " I can't live without him" and "He's my world, my oxygen, my jdjjkdjdasda" is. Because look here sis, there ain't no comparison of that dude with oxygen or food. He will leave you and he will lie but ice cream won't. Hehe.

        Plus it's not like this website allowed us to exchange information. That dude emailed me on the mail associated with my previous account. And yeah I gave in as well. So we started talking. But no, I admit it's our fault, not the websites at all.

        • Im a brother. and yes i love icecream.
          stay blessed

          • Uhh yes, I already know that you're a guy. My "sis" reference was just a sassy way of addressing the situation. Like how people say buddy, man, dude, mate regardless of their gender 🙂

            *tries to stay blessed but messes up anyway*

  3. Assalamu alaikum warahmathullahi wabarakathuh, brother you mentioned that you are suffering from social anxiety, it’s better for you gte Marry to her when you overcome social anxiety . If not you will be facing many problems after your marriage because of Social Phobia. To overcome social anxiety here is the link https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/shyness-or-social-anxiety-disorder. Jazaka Allah khairah

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