Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pregnancy out of wedlock with nonmuslim

I have a question. Girl has been dating nonmuslim guy for 2yrs and now she's pregnant. What are islamic rules of pregnancy out of marriage and it being with nonmuslim guy? She thought over time the guy would convert but that is not the case.

She thinks she has to abort it because of getting pregnant out of wedlock and because he is nonmuslim. The boyfriend wants to keep the baby and wants to keep everything neutral meaning she can be Muslim and practice her religion and he can practice his (even though he is not really religious) and the baby should be not forced into either religion.

The girlfriend wants the baby to be Muslim and if she does not abort the baby there may be risk the baby will not be Muslim. The boyfriend wants to marry the girlfriend and is ok with girlfriend practicing Islam but he does not want to convert and says everything will be fine and believes its ok to just let the baby grow up without enforcing any religion. Because the boyfriend is not Muslim he just doesn't understand that this whole situation is very complex and difficult.

What should the girlfriend do? The girlfriend thinks it's a lose-lose situation and it's best to abort the baby and leave the boyfriend and hope she can get back on the right path of Islam even though they both love each other very much. She thinks Allah (swt) cannot give them a blessed life in this situation. She is also worry some of being disgrace to her parents and family and knows that in Islam she is supposed to make her parents happy.


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6 Responses »

  1. Killing your baby is wrong. You chose to sleep with a non-Muslim man before marriage. Find a Muslim brother who will accept your past and baby or give baby to your husband's family.

  2. Good answer

  3. Assalam alaikum,

    To abort the child because this girl fears it will not be Muslim seems to elude to the fact that the guidance of the child is completely dependent on the mother's faith--though this is critical, still the child's faith isn't dependent upon the mother to that extent that someone should end a pregnancy. Had that been true, why did this Muslim girl, who I assume grew up in a Muslim household choose this path? Was the faith of her mother and father not enough to prevent this? Allah swt knows best. This girl should be reminded to be careful of taking matters into her own hands to the point she would end this life.

    Allah swt says:

    Al-Quran [6:39]

    Those who reject Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) are deaf and dumb in darkness. Allah sends astray whom He wills and He guides on the Straight Path whom He wills.

    Guidance is from Allah swt. What is done is now done. Advise the girl to not compound the mistake by ending the baby's life.

    If the girl thinks that Allah swt cannot give her a blessed life--she must revise her thinking. First we make our choices and then we blame Allah swt while we exercise our freewill.

    In this case, this girl should focus on the following:

    1) Her faith in Allah swt and repairing the damage to her relationship with her Creator.
    2) Her health and the health of her baby.
    3) Informing her family and accepting whatever people say. This will feel like a punishment, but at the same time, perhaps it may be better than to incur the anger of Allah swt. We don't know--but as difficult as this is, it will pass.
    4) Her time should be spent doing dhikr, crying to Allah swt for help. No one can help and guide as Allah swt can--so it is important to invest time seeking refuge in Him. The girl should stop considering marrying this boy as he is not Muslim.

    None of this is easy and it is very easy for us to judge and pass comments, but not a single person would envy being in this position or being tried in such a way. It is best to create a small safe environment with some supportive people (eg. counsellor) and resort to Allah's help as much as possible. Do not give up. Do not give up. Have faith.

    May Allah swt guide each and everyone of us to the one true and right path, Ameen.

  4. DO NOT ABORT THE CHILD. I do not agree with abortions at any circumstances. Islamically it is haraam only in medical reasons maybe its acceptable but not in situations like this. For some it may be a blessing others it may be an easy option to take.

    If you choose to have sex, be in a relationship with a non muslim you should take full responsibility for your actions. If you chose to be in a haraam relationship this what happens and you still continued.

    How can she be respecting her parents or even keep their respect now when she has been in a haraam realtionship and the fact she is pregnant and thinking of abortion. If she loves the guy and him the same then best to advise marriage.

    I think she should tell her parents they deserve honesty and respect.

    I strongly suggest in future to take precautions in preventing future pregnancies or HOLD until you are islamically married. Sorry if I seemed harsh but I hope you all the best inshAllah.

  5. Actualy i love one hindu boy.. he is very very genuine person.. he is not believe story of hindu religion.. he believe everything in muslim religion.. but he is not ready to convert as muslim becuase of his parents.. he telling me.. if we married , our nxt generation should be muslim.. but i can not convert... plz tel me.. May i marry him without converting him..?..

    • nisha, you absolutely CANNOT marry him unless he becomes Muslim. Otherwise it is a major sin and the marriage will not be recognized by Allah SWT.

      Wael Editor

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