Pregnant after rape by family member
Hope for the future.
I'm looking for answers over internet and i happen to find this website. Please somebody help me to know that if somebody conceives (gets pregnant) after sexual harassment by close family member... Can they be forgiven by Allah for ending their life?
Please help me with this issue.
-inned
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hi
Allah would never be pleased if a person kills himself/herself. The person who sexually abused you is the sinner, NOT YOU. If you became pregnant it was not your fault. Allah can never see you as a sinner, so please do not consider taking your life. Its too precious. Please take care of yourself, you need lots of emotional support. If you feel I can help please leave a message for me and I would like to talk with you through messages.
Maham, thanks for your comment but we don't allow the exchange of private contact info. Whatever advice you have, please post it here.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I dont know what am I suppose to do.
sister anyone who takes their own life will go to hell do not do such things. (unless they are mad). seek help from Allah with patience and prayer in the late part of the night. there are many people going through waht you are suffering adn you are not alone, it is a very widespread problem you are not the issue you have done nothing wrong. you are most probably much younger than the offender and as such have been manipulated and trapped and they know what thy are doing
“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, “if only I had done such and such” rather say “Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does).” For (saying) ‘If’ opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'”
Sister, may Allah heal you and always protect you from such disgusting people. Well, you can send in questions through legitimate islamic websites, you can email these scholars and receive a reply. According to [Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam, abortion is allowed only in certain cases such as rape before it has been 120 days (4 months) into the pregnancy.
Please click on the link below to read for yourself and see the details as my reply is very brief
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa/7921
Are you safe from this close family member? How old are you?
Im 20+ ..Idk
I read this but you are not understanding sister..I dont know how carry on things on my own.
And more over if my uncle and aunt gets to know about it they would believe their son more than me.
Im living in their house..Who u think they gonna believe ?
Ive been molested since childhood...But he was out for a while now he is back..
Suicide is never worth it. Whatever has happened to you, it's not worth committing suicide over. The best thing you can do for yourself is to try to allow yourself to heal from the abuse you've been subjected to, and to make sure that the person that has hurt you like this gets outed and punished for what he has done. Please report him to the police, and please go see a doctor in regards to having an abortion + getting psychological help.
I was thinking that but I m not sure if i have guts to do that too.
But you have the guts to kill yourself? How does that make sense in your mind? How does it make sense to you that you should kill yourself while the person that has actually done wrong in this situation gets to live a happy and free life?
Sister, you need to GET some guts, if you don't have it, to report this guy. He does not deserve to go on with his life like he has done nothing wrong...he should be outed and punished for his disgusting and illegal actions! And you need to get some professional help for yourself.
You seem to reject every single piece of advice that people have given you - you've done nothing but giving invalid and empty excuses as to why you can't do the right thing for yourself. What is it you are hoping to hear from us? That you should kill yourself? That it's okay and halal to commit suicide? Well, you're not going to hear that from anyone, and you know it. Because suicide, in Islam, is not an option or a solution for any problem.
No ..Thats not what i meant..
I have no guts to kill myself either..
What made ypu think thats easy for anyone?
So, what is it you are hoping to hear from us? Why did you write this post if you have "no guts" to do anything to help yourself?
I never said it's easy to report your rapist. Why are you of the idea that things have to be easy before you will do them? Life will indeed be long if you think you can get through it without having to do difficult things...
You honestly sound like a person that needs serious professional help. To me, you sound like a person that has a very weak spirit, no self esteem at all, and zero confidence. I don't think anyone on here can say or do anything to help you, you are the one that needs to decide to put your foot forward and do something for yourself.
Good luck with everything.
Also, why are you living in a household that isn't your parents'? Please move out of your uncle and aunt's house immediately! It's not a safe place for you...
'cause they took my responsibility after my parents.
Where are your parents? And don't you have other family members or close friends you can stay with? Or maybe have the means to live by yourself? You should not be in the same household as your rapist. No wonder you're suicidal...
They are no more..
How old is your cousin? Does he know you got pregnant? Is there a possibility of marriage?
marriage ??
Excuse me..?
He is a criminal not me?
He deserves a jail not me..
He assulted me ...And you are asking me to give him permission to assult me forever?
Assalaamualaikum
SVS, are you seriously suggesting that a woman should marry her rapist??
This is a ridiculous and widely condemned practice. A woman should get as far away as possible from any man who behaves in this way.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
SVS,
MARRIAGE?! Are you completely insane?! The answer to rape is NOT to marry the rapist! Please refrain from giving vulnerable people utterly disgusting, stupid and inhumane ideas. Which suggesting marrying your own rapist indeed is.
Salam.. .Nooo .if a person commits suicide ..his destination is Hell because Allah gives you life and we should appreciate this.A person who commits evil pays the price..what goes around comes around .... repent and move on and build your iman ...master salah read Quran become good Invite people to good and you will see a blessed life.. .teach your kids with love and honesty...be patience. .learn from the Sunni scholars ask question at local mosque...get INVOLVE with the women's chapters or tabling.. ..do not look back and sob...shaitan will play with your mind so becareful
Walikumasalam...Im not gonna kill myself. I dont ve guts..No i dont deserve to end my life like that.
SVS... are you suggesting she should marry her rapist? Is this what marriage is now? An easy way out for a rapist?
Sister inned... please get some help. For your own safety and and mental wellbeing. You are in a terrible position but there is help available. Even if you don't report him to the authorities, go to your doctor. They will have dealt with cases like this many times before. You can say as much or as little as possible about your situation. You could say to the doctor 'I am pregnant and don't know what to do'. Take it from there and see what support they can give.
Please don't suffer alone. A pregnancy cannot be hidden for too long. And you are not safe with this family. Deal with one thing at a time. Can I ask which country you are from? Perhaps someone from your country can get in touch with you on this forum and offer advice.
I request the editors to get in touch with this sister. She is pregnant as a result of rape. She has suicidal thoughts. She is living with her rapist and his family. Her parents have passed away.
Please get in touch with her privately as a matter of urgency.
I will go to the doctor tom after the college..I will do that..Im strong..Im from india..
Your words moved something inside me..Im sure il do this now..
Most sensible post I've read on this site...
I ve been reading all this stuff and lot more about this issue since morning and i felt Girls have been through alot worse thn this. I have to be on my own some day. My best friend contacted to an NGO and i feel m not alone..My friend believe me That makes me feel good.
i would like to help her with whatever i can. which place in india you live sister?
Im not sure if its safe to reveal yor personal details like that.
You are right sister, please admin get in touch with her.
May Allah bless you and help you deal with the situation.
They are in touch with me here..And its enough for me
Dear Admin please out of urgency consider her case- either help her or let us help her.
They are already helping me in best possible way.
Assalaamualaikum
Sister, I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you. May Allah guide you through this and help you find comfort.
Firstly, you need to get away from the individual who has forced himself upon you. If you have family or friends who you can trust, they may be able to help you find somewhere safe to stay. There are also organisations which help women in your situation - I'm not from India so I can't recommend a particular organisation as I don't work with them, but it sounds like your friend may have already identified an NGO, and people can often find information about these organisations from colleges (if you have a student welfare department they might well have links with local groups). They may inshaAllah be able to find you somewhere safe to stay and support you to rebuild your life.
With regards the pregnancy, you will need to seek medical help for this. If you have a good relationship with your doctor, speak to them as soon as possible. My usual position is that abortion should be avoided where possible, but yours is not a usual situation. Find out your options and think about what is right for you. Multiple respected scholars have concluded that abortion is not prohibited in early pregnancy in cases of rape (there are debates over the time at which it becomes prohibited, with the two main schools of thought being either 40 or 120 days) - you might find it helpful to speak with a scholar you trust, if possible. You also have options other than abortion, including adoption or having the child raised by a family member. You might also decide that you want to keep the child. There is no right or wrong answer here, and nobody has the right to judge or blame you for any of these choices. You might find it helpful to pray istikhara, as this is a prayer which Allah has provided for us to ask Him to guide us in making a decision which is right for us in this life and the next.
If it is safe for you to do so, you may want to consider reporting him to the authorities. If he has done this to you, he may have done it to other girls, and may continue to do it to other girls. However, you also need to consider your safety - some countries and areas of countries have corrupt justice systems, some have un-Islamic laws which punish victims for reporting their crimes... In the time of The Prophet (peace be upon him), our path to seek justice in this life would have been clear, but sadly we now need to also consider the potential consequences for ourselves of involving the authorities. Reporting someone is hard, but if you can do it, you may be able to help protect others - until you have decided one way or the other, don't destroy any evidence you might have of his actions (the clothes you were wearing, diaries, text messages, anything), keep it safe so that if you do want to report him you can back up your account.
Suicide is never the answer. As my mother says, it is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. Suicide doesn't help you. What has happened to you so far has been entirely the fault of the person who assaulted you - he will have to answer for this on the Day of Judgement, even if he doesn't have to answer for it in this life (the laws of our civilisations are imperfect, but Allah's Judgement is perfect and infallible, and no-one can hide from Him). But suicide is haram, and you know it is haram, so if you do this, you would be committing a major sin.
Instead of suicide, choose to live. Leave this abusive situation behind you and make a conscious decision to live the best life you can live. Surround yourself with positive influences and support. Get the help you need to recover from this, both physically and psychologically. When you are ready, find a good Muslim man to marry and share your life with (and yes, you deserve a good Muslim man!). Follow your dreams for education and success. Get involved in your local Islamic community and constantly work to become the best Muslimah you can be.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Thank u so much .
Im upto things il let u know soon.
Walikumasalam...Thank u again..
I ve reported him o his mother..With proofs..I don't whats gonna happen next..But i felt its the right thing.
My doc said ,its safe for me to have abortion but they also gonna report the matter to the police.
Now what m i suppose to say to them?
Assalaamualaikum
Just be honest with them - tell them the facts and give them any evidence you have to support your account. If you're giving them anything, though, I'd take a good quality photograph of it before handing it over, make a record of it, and note down the name of the person you give it to and when you give it to them. That way if something were to be lost, you can show that you handed it to a particular person, and the pictures may be useful in themselves.
Take a trusted friend with you when you speak with the police, for support. The police will inshaAllah want to ascertain the facts, and if you can, it may help both yourself and others to talk with them about this, but you might find it upsetting. Having a friend to support you can help, and maybe they could do something nice with you afterwards.
You are very brave, and you are strong, regardless of what you might think at the moment. Take care.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Walikumasalam..
Thank you so much for support and good advice...
Things are better now..May Allah bless you all.
Rape is Zina bil Jabar . same punishment will be applied on him the way it is applied on adulterers. yes definitely it is oppression Allah doesnt like the oppressors. it is injustice to a soul Allah does nt forgive the one who cause fitna and injustice in this world.
that man is a devil, if u dont speak now, he will try this on others. please dont sit and it is time to tell others about his reality .
he will be punished severely for sure. donot doubt that Allah will spare him trust him . the person is a sinner and oppressor.
I ve left everything onto Allah.
I hope u r fine sister?
Better thn i was ..Thnk you so much
Salaam sister, may Allah give sabar and guidance to you.
You leaving it to Allah is the best thing you can do, not sure what help you can get in India,
Bt iv read some really good advice. Taking every bit of help authorities can give its a blessing.
Dont feel guilty or ashamed, suicidal is the feeling you have cos you dont know what to do I went through something similar.
It is a terrible thing that has happened to you but let me tell you there is a way out.
I was just as hurtful to myself after my abuse as he was.
Would i say the same things to some one in my place? But I did I was so cruel to myself.
Please be kinder to yourself, MashaAllah you had the courage to ask for help and are still on this forum fighting strong.
Peace and blessings be upon you sister, I'll be on here if you need to speak x
Walikumasalm...Thank you so much...Please make dua
salam sister,
please inform your uncle and aunt immediately,
dont be shy, you will not come out of problem, until you deal with it,
talk to them tell them what happened,
Allah is with you, you need to take the step then Allah will help you, are you from hyderabad ?
i hope you are doing good now?
let us know.