Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pregnant and engaged – under pressure to get an abortion.

pregnancy

Now what...?

Assalamualaikum Brothers and sister who are reading this post.

Basically me and my fiance have been together for 3 years we are due to get the nikah done in a few weeks Insha'Allah. All of our families are happy and excited for our wedding. However, we committed zina before the nikah and i am also pregnant of 4 weeks. My other half is telling me to get an abortion as it is not accepted before marriage but my argue is that abortion is also not accepted in any circumstances unless it is causing any harm to myself. I need advice with, as i am only 4 weeks pregnant as we are doing the nikah in a few weeks could we not tell anyone about the pregnancy until after the nikah? My fiance is also threatening to call of the wedding and to leave me because he wants the abortion as he feels he is not ready for a child and he wants to do it the proper way? Please somebody help me as to what to do im in a really bad situation

xossxo

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6 Responses »

  1. Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuhu my beloved Sister.

    This is a brutal situation. It tests you to your very core. You and your Fiance have committed an incredibly grave sin, but do not despair, turn back to your Creator and God Willing He will forgive you.

    I pray that you find patience and a clear mind in this very trying time.

    My advice is this. Do not compound your initial error with a further mistake. Expedite the marriage, finalize the Nikkah as soon as possible. The child will inshAllah be born and you can tell everyone that it was born early. This is not that difficult to believe as it happens all the time. Dont worry about the noise of people who talk. Do whats best for your child, that innocent being that you are now carrying.

    Everything will inshAllah be fine. Pray to your Lord to make it easy for you. Get married and let everyone know that MashAllah you have gotten pregnant. when it comes inshAllah, just keep it to close family and say it is a tad early but by the blessing of Allah the baby is healthy. It will all work out.

    Killing this child will solve nothing and only elevate your sin to new heights. I dont suggest it. Be brave because the only one you need to answer to is God Most High, The Beneficent, the Merciful. All else is noise, which you need to block out. And in a few years, no one will even remember any of this. People need an excuse to talk and no matter what you do, they will talk. If not this, then something else. Trust in the Creator of all things, remember that your consciousness exists because of Him, the original Causer of all Causes. Do not let other thoughts enter.

    And Allah Knows Best. Pray Pray Pray, beg for His Mercy and Guidance, Cry to Him, and you will find a way out inshAllah.

    May Allah bless you and your Fiance with ease and Mercy Guidance and Success ameen.

  2. I second the above response. You are anyways getting married in a few weeks time. Children can be born a little earlier and they are healthy usually. Explain this to your fiance, As for being ready, there are quite a few months ahead to mentally prepare. Secondly, an abortion might affect your chances of having children in the future. Do not give up now and spoil everything by making things public. With discretion and maturity and of course repentance and prayers, things can come around IA.

  3. Salam,

    I know there is a lag between when you write in and when it gets posted, so did you already have your wedding? Has your situation been resolved?

  4. Yesterday I had commented for this post but how it got deleted n why? Where's the admin

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Your comment was not able to be published due to the use of bad language. This is an Islamic website and we do not allow the use of expletives in posts or replies. You are of course welcome to repost your comment minus the bad language.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  5. Assalaamualaikam

    Whatever happens, please do not abort your child. Each child is a blessing from Allah and has a right to life. Your child is completely dependent upon you for protection at this time - please be strong for them, for the sake of Allah.

    If your fiancé wishes to call off the wedding, leave, whatever... let him. A guy who would try to pressure you into an abortion isn't worth your time. The important thing now is the life inside you. Be firm with him, explain that you are not willing to consider compounding one sin with another, and let him take time to decide whether he wishes to continue in this relationship.

    In the meantime, speak with your parents and let them know that you are pregnant - inshAllah once they get over their initial distress they will support you through the pregnancy and raising the child, with or without your fiancé. If they don't, then you will need to be extra strong for your baby and not give in to any pressure to abort. You will also need to speak with your family doctor to get advice about healthcare during the pregnancy (such as vitamins, scans, etc).

    Zina is a sin, so you need to offer tawbah (repentance for this). I would advise that you read our published articles on tawbah and repentance for advice on this. Remember that Allah is Most Merciful, and has promised to forgive our sins if we turn back to Him with sincerity.

    May Allah watch over you and your baby through this pregnancy, and may He inshAllah guide your fiancé to face up to his responsibilities.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

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