Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pregnant before marriage – is abortion an option?


Assalamu alaikum.

I'm 27 years old girl and muslim. Been in relation with muslim boy for 3 years and told parents at the beginning they didn't agree.  I decided to leave him for the sake of family and Allah but then realised I'm pregnant with his child. I cannot leave my parents for him. Is abortion an option? I realise I have sinned greatly. Will Allah ever forgive me? I have not told this boy I am pregnant. I have not told my family that I have ended my relationship with him. I don't have the strength to fight with them anymore. Please help.


Tagged as: , , , , , , ,

21 Responses »

    • Astaghfirullah! This is an Islamic website - don't encourage others to do haraam things. Please read our information on how to give advice.

      This is not an "anything goes" website. Comments which clearly go against Islam will be deleted.

      Midnightmoon editor

  1. Do not KILL your child!! you already sinned by having sex before marriage and an abortion is another big sin!!! your baby is innocent and has the right to live!!! you need to tell your boyfriend that you are pregnant with his child, its his right to know. he might support you to raise your child?? you also need to tell your parents, they are going to be disapointed but they might come around because of the baby. its not going to be easy but you have no choice, you cant kill another innocent human beeing for your mistakes. even if your parents dont support you, you are old enough to raise your child by yourself if you was old enough to have sex. i dont need to lecture you about your mistake as you already know but please do not make another sin, do not abort your baby, you will regret for sure. repent for your sins and raise your child, insh'ALLAH if you choose to do the right thing, Allah will help you with everything.

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    I know that right now you're probably feeling scared and confused, but remember that Allah has a plan for each of us - we can't always see what that plan is, so when we feel lost, we need to hold tight to the guidance He has given us and trust that His plan is what is best for us.

    Do not abort your child. Whatever happened before, this is your son or daughter, and your most important duty in the world right now is to protect the life inside you. It's natural to be scared - this is a scary situation - but don't allow that fear to be a way for shaytan to tempt you to do haraam. To take a life is a grave sin.

    The prospect of telling people may seem terrifying. It might help to read and think about Surah Maryam - inshaAllah you may find some comfort and guidance there. Then, think about how to approach this. Choose a time when you and your parents will have time and space to talk. If there is someone you trust to support you (maybe a sibling?) then you could tell them in advance and get them to come with you to talk with your parents.

    Then tell your parents the truth: that you are pregnant, that this guy is the father, and that you are going to keep the baby. It's likely that at this point there will be a lot of shouting and crying - you and your parents will both be feeling very upset and scared. InshaAllah, once they process the initial shock, they should be able to discuss things with you and support you.

    One thing to consider is what you want to do regarding the father. Do you want to be with him? If so, you could suggest to him and to your parents that the issue of marriage could be revisited. Your parents may well not be his biggest fans when they find out what has happened, but they may still support the idea of you and him getting married to raise their grandchild in a family unit. If you don't want to be with him, don't allow yourself to be pressured into a marriage you don't want. Even if you aren't together though, he has the right to be acknowledged as the child's father and to be part of his child's life, and your child has the right to know his or her father. Depending on where you live, there are different legal aspects to this, so it may be worth speaking with a lawyer or citizen's advice service about who has what legal rights and responsibilities.

    You will inshaAllah find that, when it comes to protecting your child, you find strength that you didn't know you had. Trust in Allah that He will guide you through this. Repent for the transgressions which occurred, and trust that He is Most Merciful.

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. Masha allah its well said above.

    it is very important for you to tell your parents and your boy and the boy parents, you had committed sin that was past. At present peace, calm, asking forgiveness and strength to fight with life is required, You both were happy while doing sin, let that happiness continue by marrying the same guy. Do not kill your baby at any pressure and pray to allah.

  4. Its your hypocrisy not to tell him. Certainly you have committed fornication, we dont know wheter you will be forgiven or not but you are in waiting list. Certainly you have to inform him about this child whether you abort or not. Even if you decide to keep it, child cant have his father name as its born out of wedlock islamically you cant marry your boyfriend.

    You have to suffer the shame.

  5. I ll suggest you to ask your boy friend that you are ready for marriage and get ready him if he got ready than ask him to sent his parents to your home suddenly select a trust worthy person on your family's at probably your mother to let her know you are pregnant and there is no situation out to let you marry with your boy friend she will make some grounds for sudden marriage.

    Be careful not to let your boyfriend know about your child if he is a sincere enough than he must accept but apparently he is not sincere with you . Not have much time to explain but this is the best way I hope so.

  6. assalamualaikum sister all i can suggest u is Do not abort your child , ask allah for forgiveness and take help of your elders and u need to face the consequence whatever it might be , but be prepared for all tht is going to come in your life later , we need to educate ouself that sharia rules are set for our saafety dear and many feels its is restriction and they want fredom and its there life to decide on ....... now hapnd is hapnd be bold enough to repent for ur sins and allah alone can help you so stop asking others suggestions and dont be depressed and face it after all you are answerable to allah s.w.t so go ahead and do not kill baby plsss and this is real life not movie so realise it .


    • Hi I know someone who is ina similar situation. But the guy who has got her pregnant will never Marry her she cnt tell her mum either the guy said to her they csn only n frends not more so what would be the best for he that girl right now as abortion is not allowed she is really stressed please help jazakallah

  7. Dear please disclose it to your mother and tell your bf as well. I think if there is possibility of marriage with your bf then please go for it. Please pray Allah for better solution.

  8. Hi im pregnant and my boyfriend doesnt want the baby i want to keep baby hr saying kill baby and not gonna take responsbitity cus of his family are hard people i have already 4 kids with my husband then we got divorce now im.pregnat with my boyfriend child. My kids were taken from social and they said if i have other baby they will take it to so please help me what i do cus i want this baby i cant kill it.

    • Nazia, have your baby, and try your best to either get your kids back, or if that is not possible then to have them raised by your mother or another relative.

      And stop having sex outside of marriage. It is haram and it only leads to disastrous situations like this.

      Wael Editor

  9. I understand how u feel I converted to Islam two months ago for my bf because I love him and he couldn't marry me if I'm not Muslim about 3 nearly four months ago I got pregnant I try to get rid of it and had a abortion pill the first one didn't work the second one I though had worked because I bleed and weeks later I felt my body was still pregnant I went to the hospital and they scanned me and told me I'm nearly four months pregnant I was shocked I know it's haram to abort but I know deep in my heart god saved the baby from harm and has aloud it to stay inside me growing pulse my bf is Muslim he is angry he don't want the baby we are not married and he wants me now to abort he will leave me if I don't I'm scared because I love him so much I even went agenst my family for him because I'm old enough to make my own decision If I get rid of this baby I'll be cursed and punished for the rest of my life god will not accept me at all I don't think it's fair that unmarried people that are Muslim can't gave children without marriage a long time ago there were no marriage and people couldn't afford marriage things have change over the years Bibles and Quran have changed over the years I know god cannot forgive those who murder kill rape and abort I don't believe that God will punish ones who are pregnant without marriage they can still marry at 3 months or after the birth . Only u know what's best for that innocent unborn child if u take it's life away as it has just started the punishment god will give will be greater than death.

    • Miss Ford, stop encouraging fellow Muslims to have sex before marriage. It's forbidden and u can't change a thing. I can't understand what kind of Muslim thinks "it's unfair unmarried Muslim people can't have sex..." i mean Really?? What a stupid logic "can't afford to get married" but u can definitely afford to enter in a haraam relationship in which Islam has created hadd?
      This is truly disgusting lady. Learn the basics of Islam first. And stop confusing Christianity with Islam. Yes bible has changed over the years but not Qur'an. What was thousands of years ago still is and would NEVER be changed - it has been preserved in its original form like Allah has promised because He Himself chose Islam for us as said by our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. In the last sermon "this day have i perfected your religion on you and ... have chosen Islam as your religion."

      • Get ur facts right before twisting words im not encourage any Muslim to sex before marriage my partner and I loved each other I got pregnant by accident I wasn't planing a child as I was on the pill and for ur nasty remarks mabe u should keep ur sxxx to urself because u think ur better no one is perfect yes people believe different things if two people love each other it's for them to decide if u don't like it and have nothing nice or helpful to say then stay off this!

        • You clearly don't know what the religion of Islam is all about. Sleeping with someone before marriage is a sin...No buts!...No to what you believe is fair. It's God's words-Regulations. Your boyfriend is clearly not respecting the laws of Islam. You can't have boyfriend/girlfriend in Islam, no sex before marriage, bortion is forbidden, and no forcing people to convert to Islam. If he cares about Islam so much then he wouldn't be sleeping with you freely. You are ignorant about the concept of religion. Quran has never changed. It's God's command. You can't cherry pick what the holy books says to suit your desires. Don't become a Muslim, if you believe it's not a fair religion. Bible has many restrictions too but people changed the words of God to suit the currrent life status. You became Muslim by name, not from your heart, so that your boyfriend doesn't leave you. Religion is not a game.

          Stop acting immature and saying you don't know us. We both love each other and we know what's best for us. Why did you come on this site for?

Leave a Response

Cancel Reply