Pregnant at 16 out of wedlock. I need help.
Allah says in Surah Zumar, Ayah 53-55: "Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of God: for God forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. "Turn ye to your Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will), before the Penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped. And follow the best of (the courses) revealed to you from your Lord, before the Penalty comes on you - of a sudden while ye perceive not!"
Bismallahi Rahman Irrahim. Salam. I'm here today to get my question answered. I'm Muslim. I'm 16. I committed Zina and I'm pregnant. May Allah find it in Him to forgive me.
My parents arent happy with this at all, as they shouldn't be. They tried to force me into an abortion which I refused and now they are forcing me into giving my baby up for adoption, which I refuse also. They told me if I refuse they will throw me out on the street and say a duaa on me that Allah will not cherish me.
I can't find it in myself to give my flesh and blood to someone I don't know & be expected to live a normal life afterwards. I love my parents with all my heart. But I can't do this. I want them to accept and forgive me. But I can't do it!! I see adoption as a horrible thing and my life will be completely miserable afterwards.
My brother somewhat doesn't know and he's crazy. My mother said he'll come after me once he finds out and I wont live life in peace. They also say I'm a whore & all these other names. They say that I won't be able to follow my dreams and no one will accept me. I know it will be hard but I can do it. I just can't give away my baby!!!!
I know I'm a disgrace and deserve this hell. But I made a mistake. La Illaha Il Allah Muhammad Al Rasul Allah. I need opinions fo fellow brothers and sisters.
~Dream11
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Asalaam alaikum dear Sister,
Never despair of the Forgiveness of Allah (swt). You have done nothing that he hasn't forgiven before by people who made grander mistakes. Dear child, Allah (swt) knows your delicate heart, and He, more than your own flesh and blood, loves you dearly and deeply. He knew you before you were even in your mother's womb, just like with your little baby inside your belly now. Think of His Mercy in that He didn't take your life away while you committed your sin, that instead He gave you time to feel grief and save you from the darkness of the hereafter. Allah (swt) could have taken you right then, but He loves you so much, He waited for you to become clean again and bestowed on you awareness and regret. That is your path to salvation.
Your parents are angry and upset, and have said hurtful things. Yet, the Mercy of Allah (swt) is in His power only and they cannot lift His grace from you. Yes, they know this, too. They are just overcome with emotion and pain. They are confused as to what to do and are scared, if they would admit to it. I will not comment too much on their attitude however, as there are many mothers and sisters here who can help you with that aspect.
Adoption is a big decision. I know that you feel that little life inside of you is all yours'. Insha'allah, you will make the best decision on this matter. Again, I will defer to the mothers on this board who can help you more than I.
With your brother, though. He has no right to ever hurt you or to touch you violently. If you fear your life and well-being is in danger, do not hesitate to seek help and refuge with a social service. You life and that of your baby's is more important than anyone's pride or social status. Let us know what country you are in, so we can try to find sources for you to contact, if the worse should loom ahead.
I also want to reassure you, you are NOT a disgrace and you do NOT deserve this hell. You are young and made a serious mistake, but you should not drag yourself into the ground. You are a beautiful creation of Allah (swt) and he has endowed you with the dignity of human life and will. From here on out, life will come with its' difficulties and challenges. Bringing a new baby life into this world is a lot of work and requires a ton of love and patience. Your emotions are all over the place of course, but try to stay clam for the health f your child. There are going to be times when you feel depressed and lonely, but gracious girl, you are not alone.
In those times, go to your prayer mat and speak to Allah (swt). In these moments, with eyes full of tears washing over your cheeks, cry to Him openly and honestly. He wants to hear you all the time. He wants to hear you every day, so praise Him and seek peace with Him in those precious minutes and hours.
I want to stress that the person who had fathered this child has an obligation to you and this baby. You made no mention of him, so please inform us of what this boy/man's status is right now. It is vital that he take responsibility in the raising of his child.
I will keep you, your baby and your family in my prayers tonight.
Dear Dream11,
Your story touched me to the depths of my heart, more because I am about to give birth and I remember the day my boyfriend told me to abort my baby because he wasn't ready for fatherhood. The difference between us is that you have only 16 years old and I'm in my late 20's. I think at your age is very difficult to deal with all this together, to feel guilty about your sin, be afraid of your brother, accept the harsh words of your parents, or even the absence of the father of this baby, because I think he is not willing to be in your own life or in your child life because you didn't mention him, even if he has the responsibility to take care of this situation as professorX had mentioned.
The decision to commit abortion it's ONLY yours because you are the one who will suffer all the consequences of this, not your parents, brothers, or other people involve in your life. I also remember the advice that someone told me while I was dealing with my son father "Don't cover a mistake with other mistake" but as I said before you are the only one who can decide it, because is your life and your children life involve.
By the time I got pregnant I wasn't Muslim, I decided to revert/covert few time ago. However, I read the Qur'an and everyday I recited the 99 names of Allah because that remained me who is Allah. The verse I read everyday was "And whoever does evil, or wrongs his own soul, but afterwards seeks Allah’s forgiveness, will find Allah is Forgiving, Compassionate." (Qur’an 4:110) So don't doubt that Allah knows your heart and If you are truly repent he is going to forgive you for what you have done.
As ProfessorX said during your pregnancy you are going to face billions of emotions, one day you are going to be so happy, then one hour after that you will be so sad, then angry, etc, etc, etc.... until now I still crying for the absence of my boyfriend, but I trust that Allah knows better than I. If you are willing to keep you baby try to be as calm as you can because all that emotions affect your baby health.
I'm going to keep you in my prayers as well.
You have made a mistake and your are now truly remorseful, you have accepted your mistakes and you have asked for Allah's forgiveness, and you 've resolve never to do that mistake again, have'nt you??? You parent should understand this... As the above commentators said, Abortion and adoption is only your choice to make.. Since you 've choose not to abort the child (which of course you are islamically right),, then i would recommend you not to give your child out for adoption however your parents emotionally blackmail you ...
As salamu alaykum, Sister Dream11,
Masha´Allah, You are so young but you are a MOTHER, may Allah(swt) bless and guide you through all your life for the best for you and your baby, insha´Allah.
I agree with Brother Mohd, DON´T GIVE UP, and you and your baby are a blessing and to get to know about you is a blessing Allah(swt) has given to us.
None on this world is free from sinning and all of we will be tested by our words. Stop sinning, do tawbah, you have a link on the top of the page to get to know more about it and be conscious that your baby is living through you, your pains are his pains, your sufferings are his sufferings, your insecurities will be his insecurities, then knowing this give him memories of love, respect, acceptance, forgiveness, you are and will be the most important person for him/her, will recognize your voice, your smell, will feel close to those that loves you and will be scared of those that hurts you, ...you have a big responsibility, carry on with the blessing Allah(swt) has given to you and be the mother you are called to be, insha´Allah.
Your family is going through a hard time with a lot of suffering, they are angry and they want to make you feel how much you have hurt them, acknowledge their suffering, not only yours, acknowledge you did wrong and ask for their forgiveness, they will be angry and it is healthy to go through that anger only that way they will heal the pain they feel, and they will, insha´Allah. Love them beyond their bad words and wishes, it is the rage that is talking from their mouth, their love to you is there, be patience, respectful, loving and forgive, Allah(swt) listens to you and He(swt) knows the best ways for us all, Alhamdulillah.
Sister Z has shared with us the following in other post of a muslim mother aged 16 as you are, she had her baby taken away from her, may Allah(swt) forbids it in your case.
"""Zina is a major sin and unfortunately. You must do immense tawbah, Allah says: "Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful". (Surah az-Zumar 39:53)
You have a responsibility to your child as a mother and you will be questionable about this on Yawm al Qiyamah and so will anyone who forces or encourages you to give him up to foster care - including your parents. It is immoral and unjust; especially if they are actually able to support you; but are refraining from doing so. Your parents maybe concerned about this baby being too much for you to handle at this stage of your life, but it would be better for them to help you so that you can keep your child with you. Alternately, they may be feeling ashamed for people to know that you have a child out of wedlock. However, this does not change the fact that the child's best interests should be the main concern. Every child deserves to be loved and raised by his/her own biological parents.
As Br Wael said, remind your parents of their accountability on The Day of Judgement and try to get them on side, as you will need their support.
***
Your Duty: Children are a beautiful blessing and your child has God given rights over you. You are duty bound to give your child the love and nuturing he needs (within the provisions Allah has given you), to teach your child about Islam and to instill in him love for Allah(swt) and good manners.
Benefit to you in your Hereafter: If you raise your child well and as a good Muslim, this will benefit you in both this life and in the next. This is because after we die, two of the three things that benefits us are our pious offspring when they pray for us and also any knowledge that we impart of the Quran and Sunnah; so of you teach Islam to your child and he implements this correctly, this will also benefit you in the Hereafter.
I have attached a few ayahs from Surah Luqman to trigger you to think about the very important messages you are required as a parent to teach your child; maybe you could remind your parents of these ayah aswell inshaAllah:
Al Quran, Surah Luqman:
13. And (remember) when Luqman said to his son when he was advising him: "O my son! Join not in worship others with Allah. Verily! Joining others in worship with Allah is a great Zulm (wrong) indeed.
16. "O my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily, Allah is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well-Aware (of its place).
17. "O my son! Aqim-as-Salat (perform As-Salat), enjoin (people) for Al-Ma'ruf (Islamic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allah, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with patience whatever befall you. Verily! These are some of the important commandments ordered by Allah with no exemption.
18. "And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not each arrogant boaster.
19. "And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of the ass."
***
Turn back to Allah, sincerely repent and correct your wrongs with rights
Sister Sara, said the following in the same post:
""""Make sincere tawbah to Allah, He is the Most Merciful and ask Him to give you strength, if you are still anywhere near zina then keep far away from it. Turn to Allah, only He can help you.
Repeat 'La hawla wa laa quwwata illa billah. There is neither might nor power but with Allah
This is a 'treasure of Jannat' and is especially good to read during difficult times.""""
All my Unconditional Love and Support,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Please stay faithful to your salat, read, recite and if you want write the Quran, recite the Names of our Lord and His Attributes, your baby would love it, insha´Allah, and you will feel how he/she gets quiet and calm with some of them the same with some surahs or how joyful will be with others, insha´Allah.
All that you do from now on will affect him/her, and I mean all then may Allah(swt) ease your way and help you to be the best for both of you, insha´Allah.
My best for your best my beloved sister.
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sarfraj,
Your comment is harsh and untrue. Why comment if you have no suggestions for her. Rather than offering advice
"Allah will never forgive you since you have done haram"
Brother how do you know this? Do you have a promise from Allah. We have to be really careful what we say. Didn't Allah swt say that He is Ar-Rahman, the Most Merciful. By saying this you are denying His attributes. This is a major sin. As long as the girl is sincere and stays away from zina in future of course Allah swt will forgive her. Zina is a major sin which causes a lot of problems but as long as you are alive, you have hope.
Editors/Readers to the best of my knowledge there is a hadith about someone who said to another: How can Allah forgive these people after what they have done, and Allah swt forgave these people. I cannot find it. If anyone knows it please quote.
Dear sister, the months ahead will be hard but turn to Allah swt in repentance and don't give up hope. You have no reason to despair.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear sarfraj,
Claiming to know Allah's (swt) limits of Mercy and Forgiveness, is a sin akin to shirk, because you are claiming to know what you cannot possibly have knowledge of. Only The Divine Lord has the power to forgive or admonish as He determines necessary.
According to both Sunni and Shia scholars, Allah's (swt) Mercy outweighs His Wrath and Allah (swt) confirms this, Himself. In fact we need to look no further than the first Sura Al-Fatiah of the Qur'an to see this in plain light of compehension. The first line reads:
In the Name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Mericful
It is not till later in the last verse of the sura in which His Wrath is mentioned. And before this, we, His servants, proclaim His Right and call upon Him as the Omnipotent Lord. This placement has a great significance, so I urge you to please study the tasfeer and acknowledge what a great many scholars have written about in this matter.
Furthermore, we see that in Sura Taha 20:82
But, without doubt, I am (also) He that forgives again and again, to those who repent, believe, and do right, who, in fine, are ready to receive true guidance.
Say: Oh My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah az-Zumar 39:53)
Allah (swt) confirms that His forgiveness is repetitive to those who truly seek His Mercy, admit to their mistakes and turn away from sin, which this very young sister has done. In her post, we see in such few words how this poor Muslim sister is faring badly. Please be kind to her and fear Allah (swt).
To close, Hadith Qudsi:
"Oh son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. Oh son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. Oh son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it."
Sarfraj br or sis,
please repent! Indeed Allah (swt) has blessed us with Free Will and therefore, sometimes in life we make completly right decisions that pleases Allah (swt) greatly and sometimes we make insane decision that displeases Allah (swt) greatly! But honestly, Allah (swt) knows best but at the moment in sight of Allah (swt) you might be a much GREATER SINNER than anyone else in this world. Please don't ever say something horrible to anyone.
Allah (swt) says:
“Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil) ……”[Quran, Al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:155]
The young sister got tested big time!-- she has clearly made a loss and she is in fear too and who knows eventually hunger too coz she is young and her respected family is not willing to support her with her decision to keep the baby-- so how she is going to financially support herself to feed herself and her innocent baby!
But when we are in the middle of a calamity we should always remember that Allah (swt) promise us that he will not burden us with more than we have the strength to bear:
Allah burdens not a person beyond his SCOPE. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. [Quran, Al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:286]
We don't know but maybe this is the SCOPE of this young girl. Yours and my scope maybe different in sight of Allah (swt). No one knows what rank we are at in Allah (swt)'s listing/records until the day of judegement day!
Howevermore, Allah (swt) is oft-forgiven and just!
“….but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return":-They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance” [Quran, Al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:155-157]
and subhanAllah, this young girl has been or is patient and made mention of Allah (swt) in her post [....La Illaha Il Allah Muhammad Al Rasul Allah]...
Allah (swt) knows best but do you not think that Allah (swt) is going to or has decended His blessings on to her... and to me this young girl coming here is nothing but a guidance from Allah (swt).
“Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions. “[Quran, An-Nahl (The Bee) 16:97]
Therefore, as Muslim we should understand that Allah (swt) may test us with various calamities. We sometimes feel depress and sad in these situations and wonder why Allah (swt) allow us to go through these calamities.
“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make it known the truth of those who are true, and will certainly make it known (the falsehood of those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test).” [Quran, Al-Ankaboot (The Spider) 29:2-3]
O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, WERE YOUR SINS TO REACH THE CLOUDS OF THE SKY and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as it.
----
Sister Parveen
Sister,
Make du'aa for that child, and dont ever tell him/her that they are an illigitimate child because the world could turn upside down if they get to know. I have heard terrible stories of how muslim children murdered their parents because they learned they were children of fornication. So make dua for you child that Allaah preserves him, and that he never knows how he came into this world.
ma'salaamah
Sarfraj,
I thought you could do with some educating on the concept of forgiveness; so here is an article for you to read: [Taken from http://quranicverse99.tripod.com/islamicways/id4.html%5D
***
'The Mercy of Allah in Regard to Forgiveness'
"O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it."
In this Hadithi Qudsi, Allah gives hope to mankind more than any other narration. It displays the quality and attribute of Allahs mercy. Indeed, He is ar-Rahman, the Most Compassionate, and ar-Raheem, the Most Merciful. In this Hadithi Qudsi, Allah tells man of the greatness of His forgiveness and mercy so that no one would despair due to the amount of sins he may have committed. This is supported by the following verse of the Holy Quran:
"Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Surah az-Zumar 39:53)
This hadith teaches us the importance of realizing Allahs mercy, having faith and hope in Him especially when making dua, calling to Allah alone for forgiveness, and the importance of repentance in the life and faith of a believer.
Allah catches the attention of mankind by calling out, O son of Adam! This is a call to every human being. Why didnt Allah say, O mankind or O People? The significance of this specific call is because it was the first human being, Adam (alaiyhis-salam) who committed the first sin. Adam was an example to all humans of the consequences of sin and how to turn to Allah for forgiveness of ones sins. This gives hope that even after committing a violation, ones sins can be forgiven if one repents to Allah sincerely the same way that the father of mankind sinned, repented, and was forgiven by Allah.
Allah calls out to His servants, a call of forgiveness, mercy, and compassion. For He knows that man was created weak and is prone to fall into sin. After calling out to mankind, Allah informs them that as long as they call on Him and put their hope in Him, He will forgive them and not mind. This statement alone can convince one to have hope and never to despair. When one calls out to Allah or makes dua, he is displaying his need and dependence of Allah. He is demonstrating his weakness to the fact that he has no power to do anything for himself. It is the essence of submission and servitude. It is also a recognition of Allahs attributes of kindness, generosity, forgiving and merciful nature, and His unlimited power and knowledge. Humans are never in a situation where they are not in need of Allah. A believer always turns to Allah to ask for guidance as well as to seek forgiveness of sins and shortcomings.
Allahs says, Call on me and I will respond to you. One of the most important conditions of making dua is that one must completely trust that Allah will respond. One must also supplicate with sincerity, hope, and seriousness. One must not have any doubt at all on whether Allah will respond to ones call or if He accepts the dua. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaiyhi wa sallam) said, "Supplicate Allah while you are certain of a response. And know that Allah does not respond to a supplication from a heart that is heedless and inattentive". He also forbade that one say, Oh Allah, forgive me if You will. But he said, Instead, you should ask with will and conviction for there is nothing so great to Allah that He cannot grant it.
When supplicating, one should truly seek Allahs aid and His forgiveness and demonstrate his need for Allah and submit to Him with fear and hope in receiving the desired response. Allah advises in Surat al-Araaf 7:56: "And invoke Him in fear and aspiration (of hope). Indeed, the mercy of Allah is near to those who do good."
Another important condition of supplication is that one must not become hasty and impatient and stop supplicating because he did not receive a response sooner or at all. The Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wa sallam) said, "You are responded to as long as you do not become hasty and say, I supplicated and it is not being or was not responded to".
And the final condition of ones dua being responded to is that one must make sure he is living off of halal and permissible means.
Allah says, Put your hope in Me. Man was not created sinful, but he was created weak. He is prone to fall into the temptations of sin and the whispers of Satan and when he does, he should always remember to turn to Allah, call upon Him, and ask for forgiveness with hope in His mercy. Allah stated in a Hadithi Qudsi, "I am with My servant as He expects of Me". The meaning of this is that Allah treats His servants the way he expects Him to. If one has hope in Allah and trusts Him, Allah will act accordingly to that servants beliefs and faith. And if he does not have faith and is in despair of his Lords mercy, Allah will act accordingly. Not having hope in Allah and despairing of His mercy is a great sin and an act of kufr. Allah quotes Prophet Yaqoob (alaiyhis-salam) in the Quran: "Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people". (Surah Yusuf 12:87)
One must be hopeful of Allahs mercy and forgiveness and fearful of His punishment. It is this fear that should lead one to seek Allahs forgiveness with hope. Allah says: "Know that Allah is severe in punishment and that Allah is Forgiving and Merciful." (Surat al-Maaidah 5:98)
In the above verse, Allah gives us reason to fear because His punishment is justly severe, as well as good reason to have hope, since He is the Most Forgiving and Merciful. There should be a balance between fear and hope and not too much or too less of one or the other. If there is too much fear, then a person may negate Allahs quality of mercy and ascribe to Him unkindness (Allah forbid!).
There was a sect called Khawaarij, who worshipped Allah only in fear and held the belief that anyone who commits major sins was a disbeliever and would be thrown into the Hellfire forever. This is a gross extremism and straying from the correct path.
Yet, another sect, which emerged within the first century of Islam, had no fear and believed that sins did not affect ones faith and that as long as one believed and testified in Islam, he would enter Paradise regardless of his actions. Both of these extremes lead to a dangerous consequence.
To understand the balance of fear and hope of Allah, let us look at the very first chapter of the Quran, Surat al-Fatiha. The first verse says, All praise be to Allah, Lord of all the worlds. In this verse, love for Allah is expressed. We acknowledge that Allah is our Lord and the Lord of all the worlds. He is the Creator of all things; He sustains and nourishes everything; He gives life and death; anything good that we have is from Him; and everything is dependant on him and nothing can happen unless Allah wills it to happen.
In the second verse we express our hope in Him by stating, ar-Rahma-nir-Raheem. The meaning of which is: The Beneficent, the Merciful. When we mention these two names of Allah, then we have hope, since He is the One, who is full of mercy and we hope He will forgive out mistakes and shortcomings. We should never lose hope because there is no reason to.
And in the third ayah of Surat al-Fatiha, fear of Allah is expressed when we recite, Master (King) of the Day of Judgement. When we recite this verse, we remind ourselves of the Day that we will be standing in front of our Lord and be questioned for our deeds, a Most Awful Day. It will be a day in which not even the smallest action will be hidden. This reminder of the Day of Judgement should bring fear to our hearts.
Fear and hope, both should be equally proportioned in our hearts, in our worship, and in our dua to Allah. Allah says: "Call out to Him with fear and hope." (Surat al-Araaf 7:56)
"They forsake their beds to call their Lord in fear and hope." (Surat as-Sajdah 32:16)
The Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wa sallam) said, The like of these two qualities do not unite in the heart of a servant except that Allah gives him what he hopes for and protects him from what he feared.
In the Hadithi Qudsi that is being discussed in this paper, Allah says, "O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and you would then seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you." Here, we will discuss the importance of repentance and seeking forgiveness and its virtues.
First of all, we should never lose hope or stop asking for Allahs forgiveness. Its importance is shown to us in the following hadith of the Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wa sallam): "O people! Turn to Allah in repentance and seek His forgiveness, for surely I make repentance a hundred times every day." Repentance is such a great act of worship that doing it can totally erase ones sins altogether, as the Noble Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wa sallam) said, One who repents from sins is like one without sin.
When a person sins and then sincerely turns to Allah for forgiveness, one will find Allah ready to accept his repentance and to forgive him, as this verse indicates:
"And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself, but then seeks forgiveness from Allah, he will find Allah forgiving and merciful." (Surat an-Nisaa 4:110)
Everyone commits sin and does wrong, but Allah is always willing to forgive and He always gives them a chance to repent and seek His forgiveness. A believer should never forget the fact that Allah is so forgiving. If Allah had willed, He could have held everyone accountable for his or her sins, but He has decreed that He shall allow His servants to seek His forgiveness and that He shall in fact forgive who and what He wills. In fact, Allah commands that His servants seek His forgiveness:
"And seek Allahs forgiveness. Certainly, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (Surat al-Muzzammil 73:20)
Repentance is an act, which purifies the soul and brings the servant closer to His Lord. It puts the heart at rest from guilt. It protects one from falling prey to his desires and lusts and increases his faith.
Allah then says in the Hadithi Qudsi that is being discussed, "O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring you forgiveness close to filling it." Look at how great Allahs mercy, compassion, and love is! The least Allah asks for is that one not ascribe any partners and gods with Him, for, He is alone in His Sovereignty. And after that if one commits sins and seeks sincere forgiveness, Allah will forgive him and shower His mercy upon him.
However, one is not forgiven if he seeks repentance from Allah at the time of death when he sees the angels or when the sun rises from the west at the approaching of the Day of Judgement. This is confirmed by the following verse:
"And of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil deeds until death faces one of them and he says, Now I repent, nor of those who dies while they are disbelievers. For them, We have prepared a painful torment." (Surat an-Nisaa 4:18)
Allah also does not forgive one who commits shirk, which is the association of partners with Allah. Forgiveness will only come to those who die while adhering to tawheed and avoiding any form of shirk.
"Verily, Allah does not forgive that partners should be set up with Him, but He forgives whatever is less than that for whomever He wills. And whoever sets up partners with Allah has indeed invented a tremendous sin." (Surat an-Nisaa 4:48)
"Verily, Allah forgives not the setting up of partners with Him, but He forgives whom He pleases whatever is less than that. And whoever sets up partners with Allah has indeed strayed far away." (Surat an-Nisaa 4:116)
We must ask ourselves this question: Would we be willing to forgive anyone who hurts us and disobeys us constantly as easily as Allah is Able to forgive? Most probably, the answer would be no. But our Creator is the Most Kind and He is the Most Perfect.
"Lo! Allah is a Lord of Kindness to mankind, but most of mankind give not thanks." (Surat al-Baqarah 2:143)
In this Hadithi Qudsi, mankind is encouraged to seek Allahs forgiveness and repent, but there are five conditions of repentance, which must be met for ones repentance to be accepted. The first and most important is that the act of repentance be sincerely for Allah alone. Secondly, the person must feel remorse and guilt over his actions so much so that he wished he had never done it in the first place. The third condition is that the person must immediately cease performing the wrong and sinful act. Fourthly, the repentant person must have a firm intention to never commit the sin again. And lastly, the person must repent before it is too late, meaning before death approaches.
Allah, Blessed and Exalted, finishes the Hadithi Qudsi with the following words, "O son of Adam! If you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and you would then meet Me without ascribing any partners to Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it." Again, the mercy of Allah is clearly demonstrated by His Divine Words. However, there is a condition. One must not associate any partners with Allah, which is shirk. And Allah does not forgive shirk and if one dies without believing in Allah alone as ones Creator, then he will be doomed to the Hellfire for all of eternity. So, Allah emphasizes the importance of calling on Him alone. He has no and needs no partners, associates, wives, children, etc. There is no god, but Allah. None forgives sins except Him, so one seeking forgiveness should seek it only from Allah.
"Will they not repent to Allah and ask His forgiveness? For Allah is the Forgiving, the Merciful." (Surat al-Maaidah 5:74)
"And who can forgive sins except Allah?" (Surah Ali Imran 3:135)
Allah praises the one who truly believes, has hope, and seeks the forgiveness of his Creator, as did his father, Adam:
"Say: Shall I not inform you of things far better than those (things of this world)? For the pious, there are gardens with their Lord, wherein rivers flow. Therein (is their) eternal home and pure wives. And Allah will be pleased with them. And Allah is Seer of the slaves. Those who say, Our Lord! We have indeed believed, so forgive us our sins and save us from the punishment of the Fire. They are those who are patient, those who are true and obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allah. Those who spend (in charity) and those who pray and beg for Allahs forgiveness in the last hours of the night." (Surah Ali Imran 3:15-17)
Allahs forgiveness and mercy is far greater and more vast than the sins of the creation. One must always have trust and hope in Allah in both good times and bad times and especially when seeking Allahs forgiveness. And the believer who calls out to his Lord for forgiveness demonstrates his true weakness and that he is totally dependent on the Creator. When one confesses his sins to Allah and sincerely repents with hope in Allahs mercy, the heart should come to peace and the soul should feel rest. When a person has hope, he has no reason to despair because it only leads to destruction. Allah gives hope to all, especially those who despair that there is no reason to despair because Allah is the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy. Allah praises those who repent and turn to Him:
"And those who, when they commit a lewd act or wrong themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sinsand who forgives sins except Allah? And they do not persist in what (wrong) they were doing while they knew it. For such, the reward is forgiveness from their Lord and Gardens with rivers flowing through, wherein they shall abide forever. How excellent is the reward of the doers (of good)!" (Surah Ali Imran 3:135-136)
[Taken from: http://quranicverse99.tripod.com/islamicways/id4.html%5D
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SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear SARA and SISTER Z,
i may be wrong that allah will never forgive her, but she will definitely get some punishment in some way. Except that sentence, what ever i have said is 100% correct. You can realize what is happening now a days, youngsters are not following the correct path and they are doing all those things which are against islam or human being. some people make promise that they will never repeat the mistake but they are doing the same again, so can you say that they are in islam. Some people are following kafeers ( non-muslims) in some manner, u all might be knowing, doing totally against allah. Can you give me guarantee that u will go to heaven. YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE. You all must suggest her that what she will do if no one will marry her and her family will not support her. PLEASE SUGGEST. I may be wrong that allah will never forgive her, may allah bless her.
khuda hafiz
Dear Bro Sarfraj,
No one has a guarantee that they will go to heaven, except the Prophets (peace be upon them). A person may be extremely pious and committed to Islam but may fall in their last moments. Let me give you an example: A man can be praying, fasting and being away from zina and major sins his whole life or he can memorise the Qur'an. But maybe he did these deeds seeking approval from others or to show off. If they weren't to please Allah swt then this 'pious man' may enter hell.
Or someone firm on Islam may die whilst committing a sin. On the other hand someone who sinned the whole life could repent and die in a beautiful state of eman.
The point is we don't know and we have NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER to say this person will recieve this punishment or Allah swt wont forgive them!
Nauzhobillah - This is a major sin. We must be very careful what we say about Allah swt.
"She will definitely get some punishment in some way."
Again, how do you know this? This is for Allah to decide. He forgives whomever He wills and He punishes whomever He wills.
You are right that zina is an issue nowadays and it is very sad to see youngsters who are not following Islam properly. Prevention is definietly better than a cure I agree. But in this case it's not relevant.
"Some people make promise that they will never repeat the mistake but they are doing the same again, so can you say that they are in islam."
Again you can't say they are not in Islam. We cannot open people's hearts and check. Again thats for Allah swt.
Like I said zina is an issue - and it's a major sin without a doubt. If you know it's a problem in our society, the question is: what are YOU doing about it? What is the value of what you are saying? You can make a difference. One person can.
Dear brother what you are saying is really condemning those who have made the mistake. It makes people feel down and stops them moving forward. That is what it is doing. Offer her useful advice on her situation instead. Ways to prevent it happening in future.
But really it's better to educate young people who are at risk - in order to prevent it. And for those who already have made the mistake, remind them of the sin of it and encourage them to turn to Allah. We should offer support. Dont forget we are accountable for what we do. Imagine on Yawmul Qiyamah being questioned by Allah and He asks us: why we turned away X or spoke harshly to Y when they needed our support. Harshness turns people away and we will be responsible for that.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor.
Beautiful answer sister Sara 🙂
Dear sister Dream11,
First and foremost please turn to Allah (swt) and ask for deep forgiveness. Allah (swt) is Oft-Forgiven and extremely Merciful, so inshaAllah Allah (swt) will forgive you and may make your affairs in this life much easier and please be very patient as some/most of Allah's slaves can be really cruel towards your situation and won't sympathize! but then again you got to remember that Allah's slaves are not the Oft-forgiven and Most-Merciful, such beautiful attributes only belongs to Allah (swt). SO become dependent on Allah (swt) and not His creations. Simialary, if the father of your baby is not confident, i.e is coward to help you by marrying you then please forget about such loser!
In regards to your parents, you have to understand that you have not just wronged yourself but also your respected parents/ family. Please don't be horrible to them. They have every right to be angry with you-- their name and reputation within the community and amongst your relatives is literally lowered by your act. Therefore, ask for forgiveness from them too and inshaAllah if you remain firm with your DEEP FAITH IN ALLAH (swt) within time, Allah (swt) may make your life much easier and your family may feel the need to support you one day. Always, ask Allah (swt) to forgive you and to soften your family's heart towards your situation.
In regards to your pregnancy, see if you can take a year or two off from the country you are residing at the moment- like move in to your aunt's or uncle's who lives in another part of the world. Suggest this idea to your mother or father or someone in your family. Tell your family members that you cannot go back to change things and a baby/child will need his/her mother in every step of life-- just the way you need your family's support and care right now. Tell, them to care for you. Cry and cry to them that you are sorry yet express the point that you are not willing to give your baby away even if this baby of yours prevents you from achieveing these other worldly stuff-- education, job and even culture husband. Tell, them that you need their help! Sister, you seriously need to BEG for your parents support and help as much as you can but if they fail to help or support you then please stick firm with your decision of not giving your baby away- it's your baby!
Sister, if your family fails to accept you with your baby then if you leave in the West (hopefuly, such organisation should be avaialble in non-West country too) please seek help from your local authorties, inshaAllah they will provide you shelter and support but before seeking help from them, please call the Muslim Women's Helpline-- trust me, they will not judge you for your mistake. They are there to help you. The UK number is: 020 8904 8193 and website: Ijma.org.uk
Please don't give up on Allah (swt). Not just you but everyone is in NEED of HIM! Please don't give up on Allah's Mercy and Forgiveness!!! Learn and educate yourself in Islam- learn to know your rights and always seek Allah (swt) forgivness. Start to do your prayers, fast during the month of Ramadan and wear the beautiful hijab.
Look after your yourself my dear sister and don't let anyone take advantage of your situation, esplly any guy-- forget about husband for at least good 5 years and try to live a beautiful Muslim life and bring your beautiful baby in most pleasing way- that when one sees your child, they wish to have a child like yours Every moment of your life, try to please Allah (swt) alone! and inshAllah Allah (swt) will please you in every way possible.
Please listen to this: Oh Allah Forgive Me
May Allah (swt) shower you with greater patience and strength in this life and jannah in the Hereafter.
Love and care from your sister,
Parveen
-x-
Parveen,
You answered that really well maashaAllah. In fact all of your answers are really good maashaAllah. Your efforts are appreciated, do keep up the good work inshaAllah!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
yep awesome answer
Becarefull, A l l a a h will punish a person who said that Allah will not forgive another person for committing major sins.
ONLY TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE FROM MANKIND ARE GUARANTEED TO GO TO JANNAH WITHOUT ANY PUNISHMENT OF ACCOUNTING FOR THERI SINS.
THE PROPHETS
THE COMPANIONS OF MUHAMMAD[SAWW], ALL OF THEM
By the who khuda is, but it certainly is not of his names [swt].
It is not good to call Allah by any other than what he has named himself, or what his prophet[s] has named him.
God is great .. He will forgive you
you should talk to the baby's father about it.
and one more thing .. i dont know whether i should post it here or not but my question is not getting published its saying pending from 3 days 🙁
There is waiting time for pending questions of atleast 1.5 months.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
It is true that Allah is OFT-FORGIVEN, MOST MERCIFUL, and HE forgives His slaves whenever they sincerely repent and are remorseful of their actions... Whilst this is true, in the koran Allah also said; whatever good befalls on a person is from Allah, and whatever evil befalls you is as a result of your evil actions.. So when someone does an evil deeds, the consequences of such evil deeds would reflect in his present life (in this world) and in the hereafter he/she would be accountable for the sin he/she commits. But whoever sincerely as Allah's forgiveness, then Allah is oft-forgiven, most merciful, and such person would not be accountable for such sin on judgement day, but he/she may see the reflection of that deed in his/her life (except if he/she continues to seek for Allahs help and protection and follows up his/her bad deeds with good ones, them Allah would protect such person from evils and calamities that may fall on him/her in this world and in the afterlife, Allah said such people would be given paradise).. 😉 😉 a typical example of someones evil deeds reflecting on him/her in his/her life is what is happening to the original questioner right now, people around her are just emotionally blackmailing her, she dont have rest of mind, the child would grow up without his biological father etc etc , all this is the consequences of the sin she commit.... Also who ever does a good deed, would see the reflection of such deed in this world, and in the hereafter he/she would be accountable for the goods he/she has done..... And such reflections (good for good doers, or bad for evil doers) might come in different ways or in an unexpected way at a point in your life ..... So i think safrag is correct in this regard.
There are consequences to actions yes. Especially sins. We should be aware of them as a deterrant. But the focus should be on helping the sister here. She must do the best thing in her situation and do what is best for herself and baby. Most importantly she should take a route which is pleasing to Allah swt.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Inshallah sister I will pray for you've made a mistake!
Your going through this at such a young age I hope Allah makes things easier for you and this doesn't affect your education or relationship with your family!
AS OP. A few more practical tips would be to get prenatal care immediately. You need to make sure you are not risking your health, something young women are increased at.
I'm not sure of your country but the legal age of consent is 16 at the moment of intercourse in most US states. This could be taken into account if the father is unable or unwilling to provide for the child, then his parents may be forced to do so.
Also it goes without saying but killing the baby is not an option whether its for your parents or 'society,' your parents should have been a little more worried about giving you an environment and education that should have prevented this in the first place.
I would also make sure to take care of yourself. There is a show on MTV called 16 and pregnant and shows the daily and difficult struggles of being a young mother. I can't imagine how I could have gone to college in retrospect with a child, considering I could barely take care of myself. Make sure to finish your education and provide your daughter with the best home, not one (which like most single mothers) often results in an early pregnancy too.
WS
Asalaam alaikum,
Just as a reminder, the laws in the United States are more complex when it comes to the Age of Consent. For instance, using the internet to engage a minor (Arizona) in one State to have sex with a non-minor in another (Alabama), though the latter's State may permit it, can be prosecuted as illegal, because the non-minor was enticing sex from a minor under Federal interpretations of the statute. This applies to mail and telephone correspondence, as well.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America#United_States
If you're a school employee in Alabama (age of consent 16), you are in violation of the law by engaging in any sexual act with any student under 19 years of age. Consent of 16 if not a defense! This is Class B felony.
The laws are complex and if you are in this age bracket or your partner is, you better do your homework, because parents usually don't side with anyone they feel has taken advantage of their child and will provide evidence to prosecute. Even when a parent allowed their daughter or son consent, the law will still prosecutes and then, will go after the parents. There are countless cases of this happening.
Furthermore, just because the couple may be of the same age, does not mean that consent is a given. Any factors regarding mental state come into play and are high on the list for prosecution.
Just to clarify...if a mother's health is in danger she may abort the child. But I think that is in exceptional circumstances.
Assalaamu'alaikum everybody
Please do respect anyone's comment, there is many ways of expressing this situation, everyone just focus on our sister right now. Some may have put some comments that is hard to swallow but if you look at it in another angle, there is lot of wisdom and it depends to circumstances. So, right now our sister here need a shoulder, so be kind in your comments, she needs it, really!!! Why discussing who is right or wrong or its not good saying this and that. Please stop all this. I feel really Sad to see my brothers and sisters fighting but i like it too because you shows love for this sister, you don't want someone to hurt her or saying something to her...LOVE YOU ALL. So, by HIM in whose dominion our Souls are, lets, hands together help ourselves to reach Hidaayah(The pleasure of Allah Ta'ala). Alright here we go:
Right now she is going in a difficult phase in her life even she might have failed the test from Allah Ta'ala but for me she learnt something and for sure Allah Ta'ala had made her developed alot of wisdom. So, right now she has no body to support her but we had to make her realised that Allah Azza Wajal is always there for her and indeed Allah Ta'ala has forgiven her.
Allah (SWT), who named Himself Ar-Rahman (The Beneficent) and Ar-Rahim (The Merciful), is also Al-Ghafoor (The Forgiving). His Mercy overtakes His punishment and anger. He is more merciful to His creations than a mother can be to her infants. He created "man with weakness"; thus He knows and we should know that "to err is human," and "no one is perfect."
Iblis (Satan), the cursed one, out of envy to Adam (AS), has promised to himself "to attack children of Adam (AS) on their way to their journey toward God, so that those who fall prey to his attack will also have the same fate as himself (I'll take you down with me!). So he says, "I'll attack men from the front, behind and sides." (7:17) this means he will disguise himself as our friend, as our opponent, and side distractions of the world. He will then make us do wrong by presenting evil as good (poison candy in a nice wrapper), making us angry, jealous, envious, just "follow-the-leader" type, and we wrong ourselves and fall prey to his temptation. Iblis and his followers have a feast of joy and laugh at man's foolishness, until the man realizes his mistakes, repents and asks for forgiveness and he is forgiven, and then Iblis cries again.
Giving up Hope of the Mercy of Allah is a crime in itself:
"Say: 'O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of God: for God forgives all sins (except shirk): for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.'" (39:53)
"And it is He who accepts repentance from His servants and pardons the evil deed and knows what you do." (42:25)
In one Hadith, the Prophet (SAW) said that Allah has commanded him about nine things; one of them he mentioned was “that I forgive those who do wrong to me.”
The Prophet (SAW) was the most forgiving person. He was ever ready to forgive his enemies. When he went to Ta’if to preach the message of Allah Ta’ala, its people mistreated him, abused him and hit him with stones. He left the city humiliated and wounded. When he took shelter under a tree, the angel of Allah Ta’ala visited him and told him that Allah Ta’ala sent him to destroy the people of Ta’if because of their sin of maltreating their Prophet (SAW). Muhammad (SAW) prayed to Allah Ta’ala to save the people of Ta’if, because what they did was out of their ignorance.
Just imagine Nabi-e-kareem (SAW), the best of mankind, he made such a Du'a for the Ummah and today Islam has reached us. So we need to hold on together, tight.
Our sister should be very careful because shaitwan haven't finished his work totally. So, please sister avoid any man coming to you, even for helping or sympathy with you. Just stuck with your friends(i mean girls). The fact that the boys will try to take advantage of your situation. So, careful sisi. So Alhamdulillah like Mrs Parveen says, do it...i know you'll need the affection of a husband and so on, i know well what i'm saying but courage my sister and believe me never think, if ever your guy didn't return to you, that u won't get a good husband, i forbid you to think like this. Because Allah Ta'ala will see your intention right now, your patience and for sure your reaction to this situation. My Du'a and everyone's Duas are with you sister...hold on,oki
Anything just ask, i mean here on this post, oki
Take Care and i'm eager to know his/her name!!! I mean for the little cute baby... 🙂
Ma'assalaama
By the way i have been asking myself, this site is from which country...many times i had come across words that i don't know, Sorry. i need help!!!
I think the brother who started this site is in Northern California, but I'm sure that many of the people answering are spread out from all over the world. Please copy & paste any advice you need help with and Insha'allah, someone will describe to you what it means exactly.
Aslamualykum,
first I want you to please takecare of yourself during pregnancy is not an easy time.
I know very minimum of Islam as I am a convert I will answer as I am a single mum.
To be mother without any support it is too hard espeacially in your situation in this age. I advice you not only repent to Allah but sincere repeat apologise to parent, sister I know the bound between you and baby already happened so express this feeling to your mother. She will understand you InshaAllah. Then if u already makeup your mind to keep the baby no matter what happen then this is in my opinion..u can tell parent u agree to adopt sis,don't be angry for this it's a good way to safe baby's life. But make a condition that u will adopt only to your relatives or someone who is close that you can meet baby after..then during pregnancy InshaAllah you can build bound between your baby with your parent..baby is thier blood. Still I have to say that being mother is very hard but it's very happy too. I am far from perfect I'm still suffering from my son's father behavior but maybe it's 2-3 hours in a week, other than that I spend happiness hour with my son Alhumdulliah.
I hope my answer help.
Takecare
Assalaamu'alaikum everybody
Does anyone have any news about our sister??
Hope Alhamdulillah she is fine with the baby...
We all make Du'a she goes well through this situation...May Allah Ta'ala guides us all
Take Care
Ma'assalaama 🙂