Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pressured into marrying a woman I do not love

Love marriage or arranged marriage?

Love marriage or arranged marriage?

I wanted to marry a hindu girl who had accepted islam, but unfortunately my family was against this. So they arranged a marriage and emotionally pressurized me to perform nikah.

It has been 30 days since then I am living like in hell. I do not find my wife attractive. I avoid her all the time. I do not find myself comfortable in her presence. I dont want to be physical with her, I feel like I am betrayed by my family.

How to seek talaq in such a situation?

- s. qazi

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3 Responses »

  1. Why did you go ahead with it? If you don't find her attractive and don't want to be physical with this girl, why marry her? Did your family hold a gun to your head? You could have stood up for yourself and for the girl you wanted to marry by simply refusing to go along with marriage with anybody but her. But because you did, you showed your affection for the girl you wanted to marry to be weak and yourself to be weak.

    Now things are messed up mainly because of you. No point blaming your family, that's what families do. You had a duty to yourself and the girl you wanted to marry to be absolutely resolute. Your family exploited your weakness.

    You need to break the marriage up asap. Its going to be painful for your wife, she is an innocent party and you're the idiot who got her into this. You could have told your wife before you married her that you love someone else - that would have ended it. Now you have ruined her life to some extent because you're weak and pathetic. I am astonished that you have not shown any sympathy for your wife but only mentioned how you feel.

    You don't deserve to marry anyone but you do need to break up this marriage. You could ask her to do it for you on the grounds that you have failed to consummate the marriage - that will save her some face. Seek advice from a shariah council.

    And lastly, stop being such a pathetic callous heartless piece of work. You're a disgrace!

  2. I agree with Hussain,if you really didn’t want to this girl you had option to walk out.
    Now either accept it whole heartedly or tell your wife to clean your mess and leave you.that will teach your parents a lesson too.

    I’m sure you are not some 17year old who is to forced to marry someone he didn’t like.?

  3. Salam,

    You need to go and file for divorce. You don't ask your parents, you tell them. And you apologize to the girl and get a divorce. She gets to keep the dowry though.

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