Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Problems getting second marriage after khuula


I am really depressed and worried, I got khuula 2 years back and want to marry again. What should I do to get a proposal of a noble and decent man.

Also I am jobless these days. What to do in order to get a good job?

I am offering five times prayer and making dua my parents are tahajjud guzaar but don't know where our duas are going.

I don't want to lose hope but circumstances are forcing me to think like that. I have strong belief in Allah that He will get me out of this difficult time. I need help.


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4 Responses »

  1. Dear Sanya,

    I will be very blunt here. Strong faith in Allah means being happy with your life and what Allah has given you, no matter how dark the times seem. Be happy. Make continuous istaghfar and Shukr of Allah. Think about how much Allah has given us. If we were to try and thank Allah for just one blessing (eyes, hands, sane mind...), we would not be able to..even if we worshiped him our whole lives non-stop. Prophet Muhammad Sallallaho alaihi wassalim never sinned, and Allah told him that his past, present and future sins are forgiven.. After all that, he used to do istaghfar and tauba more than 70 times a day. Think about what kind of life are we living? Allah has given us so much. He has given us without counting, and without us asking... And we still focus on that one thing that is missing from our lives.. make it big.. and keep thinking about that.. ignoring all other blessing that we currently have.

    Remember.. Life is not all about having a partner. It is nice to have one, but it is not the purpose of life. If you don't have job, do something constructive with your life. Seek the knowledge of Islam. Enlighten yourself, and then help and guide others. Being on the internet, you have the resources of the whole world at your fingertips. Use them. And pray to Allah.. With confidence that He is listening.. and that He loves you more than anyone else.. Talk to Him...

    Before you get frustrated, I just want you to know that I am in the same kind of situation. My long engagement was broken because the guy kept having relationships with different women. But somehow, in Muslim world, its the girl who is affected. Never the guy.. But don't you see.. that is the test of Allah... For us girls, as well as for the people in the society... Test for us, as in Allah wants to see how much Sabr and integrity we have, so that He can reward us immensely later (in this world, or even better, in the next)... And the test for society, to see how they do justice or injustice.. so that Allah can give them accordingly (in this world or the next)...

    So don't worry about anything... BELIEVE that Allah has reserved the Best for us.. and be happy that Allah has removed our sins by putting us in some hard times.. Its not a bad deal at all if you think about it 🙂

    Take care and FEEL the love of Allah, Who loves you 70 times more that your mother.

    • And if I could just add something here...

      I could tell you hundreds of Dua's from Quran, which people say will solve this problem. But Quran is not a book just for Dua's... Its a book of guidance. Study it.. Take guidance from it.. If Muslims would have studied Quran like they study medical, engineering etc, and would act upon its teachings, we wouldn't be having these problems to begin with. We would be having the enlightened and just society that existed in the times of Rasulullah (S.A.W), where no woman was wronged, or blamed for the divorce. They were quickly proposed to, and re-married, even though the divorce rate in that time was quite high.

  2. Assalam alaikum,

    A beautiful response from Sr. Faith above.

    I will only add that many times I have heard people say or even some time before I believed that if we prayed and did the things we were supposed to do that it would mean that our life would be blissful and full of all those things that we want. It isn't true. In fact, there are no guarantees in this life either in terms of the dunya or in terms of our Deen. However, what do have assurance of is the Hereafter. Allah swt promises us things beyond our imagination if we stay on the straight Path--if you read the Quran, it isn't about how to make your life in the Dunya full of ease--in fact, story after story we are reminded of the great difficulties that each of our Prophets, peace be upon them, faced in their lives. These were people who knew that they would go to Jannah, who, through revelation knew that Allah swt was with them and yet, they didn't stop worshipping Allah swt or lessen it nor was their faith weakened.

    "If God wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." (Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 7, Book 70, Number 548)

    It was also narrated by Abdullah (may God be pleased with him):

    “I visited the Prophet during his illness and touched him while he was having a fever. I said to him, "You have a high fever; is it because you will get a double reward?" He said, "Yes. No Muslim is afflicted with any harm, but that his sins will be annulled as the leaves of a tree fall down."” (Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 7, Book 70, Number 565)

    {Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere} (Quran 2:155)

    {And We shall try you until We test those among you who strive their utmost and persevere in patience; and We shall try your reported (mettle).} (Quran 47:31)

    {Does mankind think that they will be left to say, "We believe", and that they will not be tested?} (Quran 29:2)

    Taken from:

    If a teacher gave a very easy test to every student and everyone passed, all the students would be considered intellectually equal. If a teacher asked the students if given a very difficult test, how would they do? And the students all said, we will pass it, would they be taken for their word? Obviously not. If Allah swt wants our true value revealed with our true intentions, that is why our tests are difficult. We cannot claim to be good and pure and honorable except without being tested and through tests, is how we are differentiated. The one who has not been tested with a trial cannot claim success over it.

    Finally, whatever pain, trial, hardship we face in this world is not going unnoticed by Allah swt. shaitaan would love to convince you of this, but instead, take refuge from your worries. Put your burdens and worries with Allah swt and you focus on striving hard. The fruits of your striving hard may not appear imminently, but rather in the hereafter.

    May Allah swt ease your difficulties, give you wisdom and much patience, Ameen.

  3. As Salam O Alaikum

    Dear Sister .

    Prayers and Duas are answered along with HARDWORK. Try and try till you succeed in terms of Job i am saying

    About remarrying then have faith in ALLAH . When the right time comes you will have the right choice for you, you dont even have to go in search anywhere

    May ALLAH (SWT) fulfill all your wishes and dreams. You will be remembered in my DUAS 🙂

    Dont stress out much. Life is beautiful live every single moment being thankful to ALLAH

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