Islamic marriage advice and family advice

promise made in kaabah

Posted by • August 29, 2014 • Printer-friendly
oath

Promises

Asslamoalaikum!

I have a question to ask all of you. I went to Khaana Kaabah in the month of Ramadan. BeforeI left for Makkah, I was preparing for one of the hardest exams I will face in my career. I had a study buddy from my batch who helped me a lot. He tallied on daily basis, but he would screw up after a week of studying. He would start getting clingy and emotional, and started having weird talks with me. Gave me lots of bullshit. Lied. But I was doing fine on the study front.

When I was in kaabah, he texted and said weird things. While there I blocked him and made a promise to Allah that I would never speak to him again. As for that exam, I prayed that Allah helps me. I am back, and now I don't have a study buddy as no one is as focused as him.  I am lost.  I need his help. I feel like I made a mistake by making that promise, and now there is no way around it. I just need to ask you guys if there is no way I can go back on that promise? I know I will earn Allah's wrath if I ever break that promise.

-Kanza83


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2 Responses »

  1. Issah
    August 29, 2014 • 5:49 pm

    AsSalaamu Alaikum,

    It seems like you are in a state of necessity, and perhaps the best thing for you is to go back on the promise you made. However, the atonement for it is by feeding ten needy people from the average of what you feed your family or by clothing them, or by freeing a slave. If you lack the means to do any of the above three options, then you shall fast for three days. Allah subhanahu wata'la says in the Holy Quran :

    "Allah does not hold you accountable for your unintended oaths, but He holds you accountable for your binding oaths. The atonement for it is by feeding ten needy people from the average of what you feed your families, or by clothing them, or by freeing a slave. Anyone who lacks the means shall fast for three days. That is the atonement for breaking your oaths when you have sworn them. So keep your oaths. Thus Allah makes clear His Revelations to you, that you may be grateful."
    ( Ouran 5:89)

    Hope this helps, and Allah knows best.

    Reply
  2. Amy
    August 29, 2014 • 7:02 pm

    Salaams,

    The first issue here is, are you male or female? Because if you are a woman, then there reaally is nothing productive that can come out of you having a male study buddy. It's better you study with another female.

    Secondly, why is this person the only option as a study partner? Surely there are lots of other students who are following the same program as you, and could study with you. I'm sure there are at least a few who take their education seriously and would be a better fit for you all the way around.

    Finally, if for some reason these are still not options available, talk to your professors and see if any of their student aides or even they themselves can help you with tutoring sessions. Many college professors conduct study group on their own outside of the classroom, for those who are interested. If not, perhaps other students have come to them with the same need, and they could at least put you in touch with them.

    I personally would err on the side of caution in all things. I think oaths are serious, and would look for any other possible solutions before resorting to breaking it. I think you have other options than this one person, but maybe you have some type of emotional connection to him (for whatever reason) that is drawing you back to him first before exploring other avenues. All or nothing thinking is usually inaccurate.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    Reply

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