Promise made over Quran, is there any way to break it?
Forced to take an oath
As-salamu aleykum,
I am Nisha, 21, Hindu. My boyfriend is Muslim, 21. We were friends for the past 5 years. We have been in a relationship for six months. I am ready to convert to Islam. I already started accepting that " there is no other god but Allah, and Muhammed is His last Messenger", but his family is against it. So many times they have warned him. They have even come to my home to speak to my family and warn me, but we started convincing his family that we brokeup.
But we were caught when he gave me a gift with the quote "love u Appu". So this January they asked him to make a promise over Quran that he will never talk to me again. He tried to refuse, but his grandmother started saying that his whole family of grandparents, aunties, uncles and his parents will enter my home if he doesn't promise. My grandmother was recovering from a stroke, so we felt if they entered the home we would lose the life of my grandmother. Plus his grandmother fell on her feet to make him promise.
He had no other choice, so he made a promise over Quran in front of his family and our friends. Now he still loves me. Insha Allah, I definitely know he will marry me or will stay a bachelor forever. Same-I will also marry him or none. So is there any way he can talk to me again? It will break the promise. I know it is a very big sin. But I can't imagine a life without him. Please guide me. Is there any way to break it?
-Nisha Naveen
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Wa'alaikumusalam! Sister
You can take a Shahadda Now. If you believe there is no God/god but Allaah (The One and Only), and you Believe that Muhammad (sal lal laho elahe wasallam) is the final Messenger and the final Prophet of Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala). And if no one is forcing you and you are taking and accepting Islam then we welcome you in Islam.
You can say,
Ash hadu allaaa ilaaha illallaahu wa ash-hadu Anna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasooluh!
There is no God but God (Allah) and Mohammed is his messenger .
That's it and you will revert to Islam and become a Muslimah.
The second part of your life regarding if he take an oath by Qur'an.
It is not permissible for a Muslim to swear by anything except Allaah, may He be exalted, alone, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever swears an oath, let him swear by Allaah, or else keep silent.”
It is not essential for a person swearing an oath to put his hand on the Mus-haf (copy of the Qur’an) for the oath to be valid, but some people do this to make the oath more binding, so that the person swearing the oath will be afraid to tell lies.
In the Holy Quran Allaah says,( interpretation of the meaning ) " Allaah will not punish you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He will punish you for your deliberate oaths, for its expiation ( a deliberate oath ) feed ten poor persons on a scale of the average of that with which you feed your own families, or clothe them, or manumit a slave. But whosoever cannot afford ( that ), then he should fast for three days ".( Al-Ma'idah 5 : 89 ).
So, you have been answered. Correct!
You can revert to Islam. And Allaah Will Make a way for you to Marry that person. Insha'Allaah! Amen! Provided that you read and recite Qur'an with translation and you will find your answers in the Qur'an.
Allaah Knows the Best!
What to do if i am breaking a promise on my grandmother
Assalaamualaikam
If you believe in your heart that there is no God but Allah, and that The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the Messenger of Allah, then take your Shahadah and become a Muslim without delay. People often think that they need to be perfect at various aspects of Islamic practice before becoming Muslim, but all we really need in order to revert to Islam is that one certainty in our hearts - the rest can come with time and effort.
In Islam, premarital relationships are not considered acceptable; we are instructed that we should not approach zina (unlawful sexual contact), so it is not allowed for people to have boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. It might help to learn more about how men and women interact in Islam, in order to better understand why these relationships are not part of Islam - initially it can seem a bit of a culture shock, but once you understand the reasons why and read more about Allah's guidance on this matter, inshaAllah you should be able to appreciate the importance of these differences in relationships, and why these are for the benefit of all Muslims. The boy's family may be very upset that he has had a girlfriend and deceived them about this, as in addition to there being no relationship outwith marriage in Islam, Islam teaches us that we must respect our parents and treat them with respect and honesty.
There are also laws governing who a Muslim can marry; these are established for our own wellbeing and to ensure that the next generation have a consistent and Islamic start in life. A Muslim man is permitted to marry a woman who practises Islam, Judaism or Christianity (as these are also People of the Book - basically, Jews and Christians believe in Allah, even though they conceptualise this belief differently and may not recognise all of Allah's Prophets and Messengers (may peace be upon them)). A Muslim woman must marry a Muslim man - a man practising another faith may not support her in practising her own, may prevent her children from growing up in an Islamic home, and as the head of the household may not treat her with the respect and kindness she deserves. It is categorically not allowed for a Muslim man or woman to marry a person who practises a faith other than these, so the boy you like's family would likely not be happy about his secret girlfriend practising a faith outwith these limits.
Regarding making oaths and promises in Islam, these should not be sworn on the Quran or anything else - the only acceptable oaths would be in the name of Allah. The boy should respect the wishes of his family, so long as they are not against Islam, and when looking at the situation, there are some reasonable requests being made - that he should not be in private communication with a woman to whom he is not married. It's worth remembering, though, that so long as the course of action is Islamically acceptable, a man does not need the permission of his parents to marry - if you are a practising Muslimah, have repented for the transgressions that have taken place, and you both wish to marry in accordance with Islam, then he can do this.
I would advise that, if you believe in Islam, you take your Shahadah without delay, and make contact with your local mosque or community centre, as they should inshaAllah be able to help you learn more about Islam and meet other sisters with whom you can form friendships. Then, if you and this boy still (independently of each other) wish to marry, you could approach an imam at your mosque for advice about how to proceed in an Islamically appropriate way; he may even be able to speak with the boy's family to try to gain their approval.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
I think u r from kerala/india. ok, wat ever, dat is not the topic here.. I tell u, u first learn abt islam, then u'll get a clear pic abt , wat u really wanna do. u said, if he don't marry me, he'll b bachelor 4 ever.. dat is really childish.. in ur case I tell u, don't give up.. abt oath on Quran. I think dat is nt a valid one. I recently had an oath on quran, but break it, after I known, dat was haram (wrong).
I had taken a promise of quran sharif that i will not drink alchol but after that i did this 1 time now i will not do this sorry there is any way that allah muja maaf kar da...plz