Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Proposal would require me to remove my veil…

Muslim woman wearing niqabi, known as niqabi

as salam o alalikum.

I had started to observe hijab with face veil with all non mehrams last year only. Two weeks back my best mate gave my family the marriage proposal of her brother for me but his family demands me to take off my face veil when non mehrams relatives are at home. I am being double minded whether I shall think about this proposal or not. Please guide me whether it would be okay to take off the face veil just for marriage?

p.s my family is very much interested though I am confused!


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8 Responses »

  1. What is the reason you wear veil? How has your life changed after you started wearing hijab and veil?

  2. Assalam alaikum,

    Your question is not about a face veil. Your question is about being respected for your choice and not having someone "demand" you to do this or that. If you want to live with a family and be married to a man that makes demands, that is your choice. Today it will be the veil, tomorrow it will be other things with your feelings cast aside and your opinion disregarded. If that is what you choose, be prepared for it every step of the way.

    If this makes you uncomfortable now, most likely it will only get more difficult. Pray Isthikhara and make du'a to Allah swt to give you guidance to help you decide.

    May Allah swt ease your difficulties, Ameen.

  3. Sister,

    I personally know of three women who married into my husbands family. Two of them veiled prior to marriage and one of the girls veiled a year or two into her marriage. It has never caused any problem and everyone has respected their choice to do so.

    No one can demand anything from you, especially in regards to your choice to veil. I would think long and hard over this proposal. As sister Saba said, perform Istikhara. What would concern me is the fact that this family do not respect your choice to veil and demand that you remove it. Who are they to demand anything of you?!

    I understand that you say your family are interested in this proposal however, are you interested? What matters more than anything is what YOU think. Please don't allow yourself to be pressured into any decision based on what others think. Think about what matters to you and what you feel is right. What are YOUR thoughts in regards to this mans family demanding you toss your veil aside in order to marry into their family? Just thinking about it makes me take a big step back. Best of luck to you no matter what you decide.


  4. OP: but his family demands me to take off my face veil when non mehrams relatives are at home. I AM BEING DOUBLE MINDED whether I shall think about this proposal or not. Please guide me whether it would be okay to take off the face veil just for marriage?......p.s my family is very much interested though I AM CONFUSED!

    Even you are not sure what to do. Please keep in mind your decision will effect you and your family and not people like me who commented on your post. I don't think this shows you husband's family is trying to control you. Your in laws are honest and they told you what they want. You are not in any way related to them so they can't demand any thing from you. You are free to say NO and find some one you think is more religious.

  5. so you will cook, clean , watch the television with the veil on, sounds funny.
    i guess they are not forcing you they are just telling you if you dont like, reject the proposal. whats so difficult here?

  6. Salam sister
    I just read all the post above and really feel that your best friends family are just normal people. They asked for your hand in marriage because they like the fact you wear the veil and you are a decent muslim, whom they respect . Wearing a veil in the house after marriage sounds quite funny lol,especially if your doing the daily chores. I know women whowear veils outdoors that they take it off once safely home,they don't keep their veil on inside while doing Their daily chores indoors.
    You are well respected by your future in laws otherwise they wouldn't want your hand in marriage to their son.
    I don't understand why this normal talk as been misinterpreted to lead to such a big dilemma.

    • If I am not mistaken, she is asking about wearing a face veil in front of non-mehram relatives when they are in the home. It doesn't sound like she is doing it all of the time--but only when there are relatives visiting.

      If the family likes the girl and she is decent, why are they trying to change her?

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