Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What is the punishment suggested in Islam when someone breaks your heart?

Heartbroken, broken heart

Heartbroken.

Asalamoalaikam

I met a guy about 3 years ago and i was pretty normal then by the time pass he started liking me or more precisely he started thinking flirting on me and he proposed me saying that he will bring his parents to meet my parents and we'll be married soon.

Time passed and i also started liking him. He used to say all the good stuff like he offers prayers and he demands me from God and he prays for me etc. I started believing him blindly.

But, all of sudden a girl came and she proposed him. Firstly, he rejected her and said that he loves only me and he is not going to leave me (He told me that). By the time passed he started insulting me and he was involved in that girl. One day he left me alone. It was more like an heart attack for me. But God saved me and i survived.

Now i know i was wrong and its about a year now i am asking for forgiveness from God but i still feel a lot more pain. A pain that never ends. I tried so hard to forget him but i failed. did God not forgive me?

And what is the punishment for him which he did the false lies, false promises and much more? will he be satisfied?

Black79

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28 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    Sister, don't turn to thoughts of revenge or punishment. Those thoughts only serve to help shaitan's whispers tempt you to sin - they won't help you to move on. This guy has had the chance to be with you, and through his own actions, he has lost out on that chance. That is his loss. Don't let it become your loss by letting shaitan win.

    It is natural for us to feel a lasting regret about past sins, but don't mistake this for not being forgiven - Allah is Most Merciful, and loves to forgive us if we offer sincere repentance. Make tawbah, take steps to ensure that you don't repeat the sin, and move forward with your life. One of the reasons we remember our sins and mistakes is so that we don't go back and do them over again.

    Think about it, though. Do you really miss him as a person? He lied to you, treated you badly and disrespectfully, and left. He didn't give you the respect and consideration you deserve as a Muslimah. He didn't behave in a way that was appropriate for a Muslim. Or is it that you miss the idea of him? If so, then think about the aspects of that ideal that you want in a husband, and look for them in potential spouses - inshaAllah you will find a man who will share the qualities you liked, but who also has strong faith and good character.

    Maybe speak with your mother about looking for a husband, and share with her the qualities you would want in your husband? But don't spend time alone with non-mahrams, don't flirt, don't overstep Islamic limits... To move on from heartbreak and regret, we need to place our trust in Allah to guide us through it all.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  2. Just take it this way that Allah saved you from being destroyed. Let Allah handle what will happen to him it's his fate not your. Just pray to Allah to guide you in right path and give you right spouse.

  3. Dear Sister;

    Thank ALLAH SWT more for saving ur future because this stupid is going to do the same to the other girl also.or may be worse. Don't loose ur sleep over him, forget and move on and don't look back. To err is human. U made a mistake and ALLAH SWT was more merciful and saved u. Life is not about loving or getting into haram relationships, it is all about loving ur creator. It is the shaitan which acts at the mind of every human. When ever u get any wrong ideas or notions, just say Aoozubillah, shaitan will then find it hard to trap u.

    As for punishment of ur guy is concerned, he is already out there harming himself and chasing girls like cats. One day u will hear what kind of punishment has been distined for him. Don't let him trap u again and DO NOT answer his phones. U should give sadaqa for being saved from a dirty person.

    Try to work upon ur DEEN,and thats why ALLAH SWT saved u. Remember HIM more and more. say ur five daily salahs, including the 12 Sunnah, keep fasts of this Ramadan which is the most blessed month. Do lots of zikr & dua to keep u steadfast on the right t path. Let ALLAH SWT in ur life and u will live happily ever after. Ameen.

    Javed

    .

  4. (Comment has been deleted. Please register and write your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  5. What is the punishment suggested in Islam when someone breaks your heart?

    Are you serious? You should worry about azaab of hell fire for yourself first. You were an equal player in this. You should not have gotten involved in this mess. Allah will give him what is coming to him but you need to be worried about the sins you committed. This is why Muslims do not date. You should get married to a suitable guy as soon as possible and not tell your husband about this man.

    • I try a lot friends but i can not forget him ...how I should do n now he tries to stop contact with me but I am crazy for him ..n now i am facing from diseases n I become syco what Should I do friends?? n my heart is restless I don't know why?? How many time I try to socide but I tollorate belive me n now I am very tense friends ..:( 🙁 it is a big sin to socide n I think alot about him what should i do????

    • What kind of advice is that? How dare u shame her! And why not tell her husband? If he is not man enough to know she has a past than he ain't worth it!
      Allah forgives! Why should we care if some idiot loser who is insecure is hung up?

    • It wud be better if u wud hv given ur suggestion in a polite manner.

    • What an incredibly harsh response to a poor girl that is clearly not just hearbroken but also has had her self esteem kicked. How dare you judge her like this and then speak of "sins committed by you". Are you "How Ya doin" free of all sin?. We are human beings and we make mistakes and yes we must repent to our creator. We are also instructed by Allah to show compassion and worry about our own mistakes. The Prophet PBUH was the finest example of true and total compassion ...non judgemental and most honourable in speech and in actions. Maybe you need to look into your own shortcomoings and STOP patronising poor human beings that need help and kindness and proper advice.

      Totally disgusted by you and others that think by throwing religious platitudes at people will help. This is the problem with much of the muslim community ... too much judging and little helping

    • Salam alekum ,instead of comforting her you are speaking about Hell Fire , m so sorry this is defiantly not the approach u do to a fellow Muslim who needs someone to comfort him/her in the situation of grief . Do u even know her situation the circumstance why she fell into it ?? How could you be so harsh speaking about she being afraid of Hell Fire .what if one day u fall into something more bigger then this ??? How pity of you to have such a small thinking , when Alalh has taken care of her for all these years even when she has been doing something not as per islam who are you to point finger at her and remind her of her sin ,I guess u need to change your approach or use more suitable words to address the situation ,don’t forget you tongue say things that mind hurt people and u will be held accountable towards this or may be Allah will give you situation simailar to this and then you will properly ponder on the words you used to utter to people in this situation . May Alalh guide you

  6. Salaam to everyone here!

    There was a girl in my class in college, at first i didnt even see her face n didnt notice her n just paid attention to my studies. but at farewell function i was like a huge crush on her. tears came into my eyes. i didnt sleep n cried all that nite n my heart was extremly in pain. i was never felt like this before. m a really shy person abt girls n i never share the feelings to someone except my only school best friend who was not with me in college. m an artist n i make sketches n cartoon characters. a guy who daily used to sit with me was in love with another girl who was friend of the girl whom i got crushed. That guy req me to make a sketch of his girl, i dnt knw what comes on my mind n i said that if i made him a sketch he would make my friendship with my girl. he was shocked but he agreed. i used to send her sketches of different people through that guy n his lover to my girl n she accepted. at ramadan holidays i asked her fo her cell number but she denied by saying that he has no permission from home. i was again disappointed but never stop sending her sketches. after holidays i dnt knw what comes on her mind n gave me her nmber herself. Till then 2 years after that we chat we fight we laugh togather. From the first day i met her till the last txt she did to me i never said even a single NO for anything to her. Every time i made my assignment but when in college i came to know that she has done no homework i gave her my assignment n got seriously punished but i didnt felt nothing coz i was extremly in love with her. Some guys in class used to told me that she is involved in another guy from 2 years before but i didnt notice. now without any fight or any reason she is not even answering my txts n calls. i love her more than my own lyf. i tried myself to ignore her but i failed. i was in college for inter but afer 2 years i got nothing but a broken heart. her remember always brings tears in my eyes n the same pain i felt on 1st day when i got crushed. pl help me plz God bless u. and please answer me on my email address provided.

    • Brother Farhan, I'm sorry to hear about your experience. A broken heart is a very difficult life experience. However, this girl is not your wife or even your fiance. She has no obligation to communicate with you or tell you anything about her life.

      In time you will get over it, or at least the pain will diminish. Next time you are interested in a girl, approach her family properly and propose marriage. Do not get involved secretly or try to have a "friendship" or secret relationship.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • thank u so much for ur kind response but I i cant get over it. its been 2 years n she is driving me crazy everytime. even in namaz when i am in sajda, i bow to Allah but in my mind she is there always. m totally mad plz pray for me or tell me something that could recover coz she she will not respond me now
        God bless u

      • thank u so much for ur kind response but I i cant get over it. its been 2 years n she is driving me crazy everytime. even in namaz when i am in sajda, i bow to Allah but in my mind she is there always. m totally mad plz pray for me or tell me something that could recover coz she she will not respond me now
        God bless u

      • thank u so much for ur kind response but I i cant get over it. its been 2 years n she is driving me crazy everytime. even in namaz when i am in sajda, i bow to Allah but in my mind she is there always. m totally mad plz pray for me or tell me something that could recover coz she she will not respond me now
        God bless u

  7. can i have the answer again??

  8. as hard as it is, you have to accept this relationship is over. she is moving on with her life and you have to do the same. allah took her out of your life for a reason, maybe there is someone much better suited to you, or had you got together it would have taken you away from you goal in obeying allah. you have to trust is plans for you.

    • U r right but dnt knw whats gonna happen next n m still dying for her, i still dont understand that if Allah has to separate us then why He made us meet n we got into feelings?? i didnt ask or desire for her to Allah. still didnt have the answer for this question, m sucked nd dead.

    • U r right but dnt knw whats gonna happen next n m still dying for her, i still dont understand that if Allah has to separate us then why He made us meet n we got into feelings?? i didnt ask or desire for her to Allah. still didnt have the answer for this question, m sucked nd dead.

  9. I've actually played a girl well not really but I proposed to her at first and she accepted and we'd talk from there on, without any flirtation or anything but then one day she saw my tweets about another and unfollowed. Well she followed back, it was a minor, but then I had to end it late into the year, she claimed she wasnt heartbroken & that's she's fine & she even swore on Allah. So I'm guessing it's all good, but because a lot of bad events have occurred in my life I had thought I was being gotten back. So yeah what goes around comes around. No need fi worry. He'll get served what he deserves. Even though this girl spoke & approached me first & not the other way round like this man you speak of. A lot of people said she were at fault but a persons feelings isn't to be given false promises or let down nonetheless. Not in my morals. Having said that, salam.

  10. I also felt dat pain.. someone left me..so I feel better to read ur lines...good job..

  11. Its also happened with me. He did the same thing with me. He proposed me and told me he want to marry me soon. Even he told me i m his best gift from Allah. I believed him blindly.he couldnt spend a hour without me. Even told me that plz dont leave me.he forced me to open our relationship with my family and friend and i did it. I told my family, relatives and all friends about our relation and we will marry soon. Then all on a sudden he became changed. He avoid me and told me he is busy with his job. Bt i realized something wrong with me. Then i somehow i knew that he is in a relationship. I tried to hold on but i cant. He broke his commitment.Now i cant live a normal life and cant forget him.i try to understand myself bt cant. But i believe on Allah. One day Allah release me from the pain. Bt i want to know what will be the punishment from Allah for him??

    • Leave it all to Allah. He has to answer to him. As for you it will take time for you to heal. He has played you badly, given you fake promises. I know how it feels. After learning about his actions, take a deep moment to ask yourself if this is the type of guy you would want to be with for the rest of your life. A manipulator who plays with a girls heart. Believe me it took me a long time to realize that until my friend made sense to me. He will not be having fun and be happy to long. What goes around comes around.

  12. Masha Allah
    So much pride about Islam...
    I'm just by passing and Decided to read the individual suggestion May be I can pick up something.
    May Allah bless everyone here!
    May Allah unite us in peace and beseech us with Jannatul firdaus.

    From Nigeria

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