Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Question about praying for suicide

Hadith on Suicide


I am an international student who recently shifted to the US. A recent incident resulted in my landing in the hospital. I drank excessive amounts of vodka had to be rushed to the ER of the local hospital. I asked God for forgiveness and vowed never to drink again. I also believed my health insurance covered the ambulance charges, and never told my family for fear of shame and abuse of trust. I have not suffered any physical ailments after the accident and repented.

Today however, a family member received a mail from the ambulance at home, and asked me about it. While I managed to allay his suspicions (so I think) I am still worried about my family finding out. I really dont want them to, nor do I want to tell them, as I have repented and learnt from my mistake, and do not want to cause them grief. However, an additional problem is that I have yet to pay the ambulance fee. Although I have health insurance, I do not believe it will cover the costs. I have very little money at the moment and although I can talk to the hospital I guess (about payment plans) money is still an issue, as I have to worry about my school fees etc. I also recently suffered heartbreak. In short, I have gone through much in the span of a month and a half.

Tommorow I will be flying to Iowa for a week. I am worried in the meantime that more mail will be received at my current home, and my family will find out. Also as I mentioned, there is the worry about finance.

Although I survived that night at the hospital, I have a funny feeling that I should have died that night to avoid all this trouble. I have read your suggestions in terms of what to do if one wants to pray for death- and this is what I would like to do. I would like to pray for death soon in order to but behind everything. I did recently contemplate suicidal thoughts, but since suicide is considered haram in islam, I think it is time for me to pray that God soon sends death my way- as this would save both me and my family from grief. Furthermore, I think it would be better, as then I will not be tempted by sex or alcohol or drugs in the future.


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4 Responses »

  1. Asalamualikum!

    Wallahi u are worried for reason..
    Just supplicates to Allah ..ask to clear your situation..with all ur heart.
    Prayers are heard ..repeated this dua after fajr and magrib..

    اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ الْهَمِّ وَالْحُزْنِ وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ , وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ ,وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

    Allahumma inni a’udhu bika minal-hammi wal-Huzni wal-‘ajazi wal-kasli wal-bukhli wal-jubni wa dala’id-dayni waghalabatir-rijal.
    [O Allaah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men]
    [Sahih Al-Bukhari, 7/158]

    Also check this out..what prevents dua from being answered..

    May Allah ease ur pain..nd protect you from any harm..

  2. "None of you should long for death, for if he is a good man, he may increase his good deeds, and if he is an evil-doer, he may stop the evil deeds and repent. "

    The Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) [Sahih Bukhari Vol. 9, No. 341

    Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet said, "None of you should wish for death because of a calamity befalling him;

    but if he has to wish for death, he should say:

    "O Allah! Keep me alive as long as life is better for me, and let me die if death is better for me.' "

    I hope this helps you out..asking Allah for death is equal to suicide. Dont ask for it my brother/sister.
    May peace and blessings of Allah be upon you and your loved ones.

  3. If you have repented sincerly then don't bother much .There are worst sins than yours people did ,repented and became good.Even if your family found out they will forgive you .Don't worry much .

  4. As-Salamu Alaykum,
    If you are truly concerned about your family, then your death will not make them feel any better. They will only wonder what they did wrong, and what they could have done differently to help and support you. It is a pain that would last with them for the rest of their lives.

    Most likely, the bill for the ambulance does not state the reason for the hospital visit, and you have indicated that you already responded to your relative. So, receiving a second notice should not increase suspicion of your activities.

    What you can do, however, is speak to the hospital or relevant party about a payment plan, as you already suggested. And you can change your address with them as well so that the mail gets forwarded to a friend, a PO Box, etc. Then try to make small but regular payments.

    If the worst happened and your parents found out, their only hope will be for your future safety. They will not disown you. In fact, if you are able to discuss it with someone, they may even reassure you. But it may be better not to broach the subject if you think it would cause too many problems. I commend you for leaving these bad behaviors behind. This was a hard lesson but may be the wake-up call you needed. Learn from the experience, and resolve to remain steadfast. You are still young and have a bright future ahead, insha'Allah. We have ALL made mistakes that we regret.

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