Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Questions About Medical Fields and Improvements in My Life


Assalaamu alaikum!

I'm sorry I said that religion is causing me problems because it really isn't. The problem is with my health and I suffer from adrenal fatigue and that is what is causing me problems. I know Allah has provided cures for many illnesses in this world so I am now seeking the help of an MD doctor who specialize in adrenal fatigue as well as the illnesses that come with it, including hypoglycemia, hypothyroidism, depression, anxiety, and stress. My mental health issues could very well stem from suffering from adrenal fatigue, which makes me feel so horrible both physically and mentally. I feel so exhausted and tired all the time and I am only working three days a week as a teacher's aide. The other day I had to work with special needs kids and it was so tiring. I can't imagine having to be a teacher and disciplining these kids on top of all the paperwork and stuff that comes with being a teacher!

In addition, I had a talk with my husband about him hating hijab and stopping me from praying and now he is changing. He has no problem with me praying and wearing hijab and he stopped telling me that I should marry a mullah. He also is acting better with me and is going on vacation to his home country and will be looking for a better job when he comes back to the States. He also is interested in me sexually and is becoming more emotionally supportive. I guess being patient and communicating with him in a kind way is the key to getting your spouse to understand. Communication is everything!

I want to apologize sincerely to Wael for talking against Islam and for using bad language with him and being upset. I wasn't in the right state of mind and was very frustrated with my situation which is why I talked against Islam, but deep down, I love Islam with all my might.

I am a muslim born female and have always loved my religion. I went to Islamic School starting at 6 and I did my first Ramadan around 7 years of age. Being a muslim is a big part of my identity and I proudly wear hijab and try to maintain my five daily prayers, although I struggle sometimes because of seeing the Shaytan, which despite what some people say, I don't believe is from a mental illness. A lot of muslims believe everything is science now, but some things science can't explain and some people really can see the unseen which is why there is such thing as Ruqyah and exorcisms. Even in the Christian faith there are people who have seen the devil and their Pastors even perform exorcisms, as do some Muslim Imams who perform Ruqyah. I feel sad some people think this is stemming from mental illness and don't believe me, but I guess some muslims who don't see the unseen like some people, will be skeptical and attribute everything to science and mental illness.

Anyway, the reason I am writing is because I've thought long and hard about careers to go into. I always wanted to be a doctor growing up but because of my adrenal fatigue and mental health issues, I wasn't able to go into that. Now, I am thinking of alternatives like Physician's Assistant and Nurse Practitioner. I wanted to know, in those fields, do you have to work nights, weekends, and holidays? Would you be on call? I know especially during clinicals, you may work odd hours. Since I have adrenal fatigue and mental health issues, working nights and being on call would be very stressful for me, but there is a deep desire for me to be in the medical field. What about optometry? Do they work nights? During clinicals, do you work nights as an optometrist? Is the job market good for optometrists because I keep hearing that a lot of graduates are struggling to find optometry jobs in this economy. Since I have to sleep 8 hours at night because of my adrenal fatigue which is causing fertility problems, it is very important that I take a medical job that has only day hours and that I can sleep soundly at night. I also need to pray and do light exercise and take supplements to manage my adrenal fatigue. Reducing my stress is very important so that I can manage adrenal health and eventually get pregnant one day since I desperately desire children. I have thought about speech therapy, but a lot of sisters think I should start off easy like doing medical secretary or court reporter. However, since I am now working as a teacher's aide, I think speech therapy is a good fit for me since I have interests in both the medical field and education. I feel so confused. I did Istikhara, and Allah keeps pointing me towards speech therapy, but it is very competitive to get accepted into schools. All this thinking about careers is stressing me out a great deal!

I hope to hear from my muslim brothers and sisters soon and I hope Allah forgives me for saying what I said about leaving Islam. I was not in the right state of mind and was very upset with my husband that he didn't let me pray or be religious and told me to marry a mullah so I was thinking a lot of men hate pious women and I felt confused. Also, I have read posts from men on here and they say that muslim women don't know how to be sexual with their spouses and that's so untrue. I have tried everything to be attractive for my spouse, but now he is finally hearing me out. Our relationship is improving and he supports me in my career goals and he does appreciate all the things I did for him in helping him to adjust to America, and now our relationship is getting better. Inshallah, we will eventually get an apartment one day now that our relationship is getting better.

I thank the brothers and sisters who gave me such good advice on this website. Also, I appreciate that Wael has made this website for brothers and sisters to get support.

I just think people shouldn't be so harsh when someone out of anger says they want to leave Islam or blame religion. Instead of shutting them out, the community needs to realize that person needs their support because they are going through so much. I hope the community improves its support network and muslims continue to make a difference all over the world. Our religion is the best and muslims are very smart, talented people and we have a lot to offer the world. If we can support one another, the Ummah will be stronger and our religion will grow in larger numbers as people start to see that being Muslim is the best thing in the world.

I thank all of you so much and hope to hear from you soon!


Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , ,

13 Responses »

  1. Salam .First of all no one has the ability to see the unseen not even the jinns and shaitan.Sickness and health are all from Allah S.W.T Whatever condition Allah has given you in terms of a illness or something that is problematic in your body must know this is your test but you shouldnt say your stressed out etc....This tells me your foundation is weak and your amals on daily basis is not stable.We should have a routine from the time we wakeup from fajr to the time going to bed.My advice and experience says read quran daily morning and evening Do tasbih 3rd kalimah tauba durood min 100x each morning and evening daily and do some collective taleem (hadith)for 15min) min) I hope you are praying 5 times aswell as your husband because this can be dangerous.Inbalanced life and no barakah.Also read manzil just incase you are afflicted with jinn.Remeber it can happen to anyone unknowingly and they are sneaky. Also are you eating fast food watching movies staying up late oversexed.All of these the shaitans play a huge role so be careful and good luck. You must use wisdom and be patient with your husband because any man who tells his wife not wear hijab i would feel worried about his condition.

  2. Aoa!
    Yes, you will have to do nights and on calls if you work as a doctor or nurse. These fields are definitely tiring and hectic. I do think speech therapy will be a rewarding field. All the best in your endeavours.

  3. Thank you Doc! I appreciate it. So the same is true for physician's assistant? They aren't exactly a doctor, but they are a midlevel provider. They also have to work nights? What about nurse practitioners?

    To the person who first responded, yes, seeing the unseen is the truth. Because you haven't seen it, you don't know. There is a well know imam named Mohammad Tim Humble who performs exorcisms so this is all true. I knew there would be muslims who wouldn't believe, but I honestly don't care. They aren't going through what I'm going through.

  4. And I never said I eat fast food...don't know where you got that from.

  5. Am not sure about physicians's assistants as we do not have them in the country I practise. Maybe you can ask one. Yes, nurses have to work night shifts.

    • What about nurse practitioners or optometrists? Registered nurses I know definitely work nights, but nurse practitoners may have better schedules.

      • Waiting for someone to reply.....

        • Assalaamualaikam

          In the UK, a nurse practitioner has to go through standard nursing training (including working shifts and nights) and then do additional training, and then the job itself may well also include shifts and nights, depending on the specialty.

          I don't think optometrists have to work shifts. I'm not sure what the training requirements are, so inshaAllah someone who works in this field might be able to provide information about this.

          Physician assistants are likely to have to work shifts and nights, depending on the specialty. Someone working in acute medicine is almost certainly going to need to work shifts, and as far as I'm aware that's where most of the physician assistant jobs are at the moment.

          It might be worth speaking with a careers advisor with experience in healthcare where you live. They may well be able to give more detailed information about how recruitment and training work where you live, and possibly some work experience or shadowing so you can see what the different jobs entail. You might also be able to do some volunteering in a healthcare setting, which would help you gain experience and awareness of what the work would entail, as well as looking good on any applications!

          Another thing to consider is that part-time working is often available. Given your health problems, this might be a way to work in a field you love without overburdening yourself with work, as you need to also consider your own health and make sure you stay well, inshaAllah.


  6. Midnightmoon, your answer was wonderful. Thanks so much for your help. You always seem so understanding and kind towards me. I actually have an appointment tomorrow (Thursday, January 13, 2016) with my disability counselor to help me sort out careers that are low stress and I can manage. She will be doing a career test to determine suitable careers for me, but I will be sure to tell her that I'm interested in healthcare in particular.

    Please make du'a for me that I have some direction in my life. Although I make very low income now, I worry that i will lose my government health insurance because a lot of people in the US don't have insurance. Also, disability payments are at least some income coming in (although not a lot). I have goals to own a home one day, plus there is a desire within me to work as well. I worry, however, that I may lose my job because of getting fired or not being good enough or getting laid off then I would have no income coming in if I lost my disability and end up homeless. Homelessness is a major fear I have in my mind. I am lucky I have my parents, but they won't always be there for me. Also, although we had a talk about him trying to get a better job, still doesn't seem very motivated to find a better job. I'm trying to help him to become a patient access representative in the hospital, but he finds the studying hard and is not motivated. My only hope with him is to take him to an immigration job center that can help identify his skills and match him to suitable jobs that pay well so we can eventually buy a house one day. Also, my infertility issues are still very much a reality and my husband still doesn't really feel interested in intimacy with me, although I had a long serious talk with him. I know I said things are improving, but we still have a long ways to go. Don't know if he really heard me or not like I thought he did!

    I always worry I won't be able to handle the stress. Inshallah, the disability office will help me to find a job that is suitable for me based on my stress levels. Please make du'a for me midnightmoon. You always seem to have the right answers to make me feel better. Thanks so much and may Allah bless you with jannatul firdous for all the help you have given me!

  7. I also thought about being a teacher since I am a teacher's aide, but the job seems so stressful after working with teachers in the classroom for the past couple of months. I also don't think I'm creative enough to decorate a classroom, deal with parents, and bring work home with me. It seems like a lot. I also struggle with adrenal fatigue so you need a lot of energy to be a teacher. Part-time work may be suitable for me starting out. Hopefully, I can apply for programs that will still let me keep my medicaid so that I get my medication.

  8. Speech therapy may be the ticket....if not, I've also though about medical coding, but I heard that it is pretty low paying and jobs all want experience. I can't wait until I finally have some direction! I've prayed to Allah so hard, but it seems like I will have to go out and seek help from my disability counselor. I'm so glad I live in North America. These opportunities don't exist in South Asia!

  9. Still waiting for reply....hope someone has something to say....

Leave a Response