Questions regarding the Sexual Intercourse
Sexual Relations in Islam
Assalam O Alikum
As i will be getting married and I need to ask questions because i have serched a lot about but i am confused i don't know what is right and wrong , I don't wanna commit any sin.
Alhamdulillah I pray 5 times a day. As these questions are very personal but I need help regarding these questions in light of hadith and what is mentioned in Quran
Please answer me as soon as possible.
Is anal sex allowed in islam? Because the person whom i will be getting married he insists 2 do it I have read in many places its not allowed and our nikkah will be broken and we will no longer be husband and wife but on the other hand it is said that we must obey our husband, listen and do whatever he asks us to do. What should i do if he asks me should I leave him ask for divorce or listen to him.
Is sex allowed in ramadan and sex while a female is in her monthly periods?
Is oral sex kissing husbands or wife's private parts allowed?
Please I don't have any idea about all these questions. I need answers in light of hadith and Quran as soon as possible.
Thanks.
~ jawii
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Anal sex is not permitted in Islam. Obeying your husband does not mean that you must do anything that is forbidden. Anal sex can be damaging physically, and I would be wary of marrying anyone who insisted upon it.
I could be wrong, but I've read that sex during a woman's period is forbidden, and during Ramadan sex may be permitted between husband and wife after the fast has been broken.
I think views on oral sex vary.
Your first answer “We women should obey our husband but sometimes some husband take the advantage and turn bad and believe that they can demand anything and everything when it comes to the bedroom. However, this is not the case.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_view_of_anal_sex
About Ramadan you can do it in night but have to take shower before fajr.
About oral http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_views_on_oral_sex
Sister Nadia.. Maybe you need to check your 2nd point. Can shower during fajr time before performing fajr prayer.
Sorry I didn't get it please explain.
Thank you
After intercourse can have sahr and bathe junub during fajr hours before performing the fajr prayer.
اسلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
Allah, the Exalted, sent down the Qur'anic verse:
"Your wives are a tilth to you, so come to your tilth however you will,"
i.e. from in front, from behind or lying on the back. But this verse meant the place of the delivery of the child, i.e. the vagina. So anal sex is haraam. And for oral sex it is also not permitted in Islam by all four imam's it is organ on your body where you urinate from so based on that it is impure to do such act and it's disliked by the prophet s.a.w, so as for sexual intercourse during Ramadan is permissible but only after sunset (Iftar) and before dawn(sahoor) so you can not have sex while you are fasting. Jazakallah for posting I hope I have answerd your question. Wassalaam
Wa alaikum mussalam sister,
We begin by praising Allah, the most compassionate, the most merciful. He who is more important to us than this Dunya/this world.
Abdul Jabbar, I removed the rest of your comment. It was not wrong, but considering your age I feel that it's best that you refrain from participating in discussions about sexual subjects, or advising adults on these matters.
Wael, IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Ok bro, but I have been through and seen worse
It is haraam to have sexual intercourse with your wife if is on her monthly priods.
Wa Alaikum Assalam Sista,
As Lydia has written is right. It does not mean that you should obey your husband, if he's taking you to the wrong path. Anal sex is forbidden in ISLAM, and if your husband ask you to do these such thing then he's insisting you to do haraam. You should tell him about halal and haraam. And also this, if you both do these such things then you will not be Husband wife anymore. You married eachother, Subhan'ALLAH, came in to a beautiful relation then try to compromise, avoid bad things, Insh'ALLAH, you both will be happy. No don't ask for divorce, he will, Insh'ALLAH, understand you.
The second thing you asked about intercourse during the month of Ramadan and periods. Intercourse during our periods is forbidden, and in Ramadan during the day. Just read, what's written in the following link. Here it is: http://islamqa.info/en/ref/23339
And Sista, you need answers in light of hadith and QURAN, asap. I ain't a scholar but as I read that The QURAN and Sunnah are silent on this issue of oral sex, and no one asked the Prophet(saws) about this issue, nor did he ever mention anything about it. Thus one cannot say it is 'haraam'. And because this act is a later development and deviation of man, we have to rely on the jurists amongst the scholars for an opinion.
The scholars are almost unanimous in their opinion, that this act is un-natural, unclean and impure, and thus closer to the forbidden in Islam. Some scholars have also termed it absolutely forbidden.
The Messenger of ALLAH(saws) said that in Islam, "The 'halaal' is evident, and the 'haraam' is also evident. Between the 'halaal' and the 'haraam' there are some gray matters, and anyone who also stays away from these gray matters, has indeed purified his soul."
If we have any confusion, do ask. Insh'ALLAH, we'll help. This side is for helping others and telling them right and wrong.
Jazak'ALLAH Khairan Khathira
Fi AMAANILLAH
ALLAH HAFIZ
Having sex while you are in your period is a no no your husband should understand that you are not clean yet and having sex in Ramadan I'm married we don't do it ontill Ramadan is over and alhamdullah my husband doesn't make me do anything I don't wanna do.
Walaikum salam sister Jawwi,
Masha Allah, everyone has advised you according to Quran and Sunnah but their are some of the things which I couldn't over look, you said;
Because the person whom i will be getting married he insists 2 do it
OK! He is not your husband yet, so from an Islamic point of view you guys shouldn't be having these conversation. This is absolutely haram and he should know that which brings me to question how religious he is and for you to find out what else he is into? We are supposed to marry someone who will bring us closer to Allah (swt) and eventually help us reach Jannah not the opposite.
I hope you don't over look this point because this is a huge red flag and also explore him further. The fact that you know this outright haram and you told him but he still insists on performing such acts means that he may ask you to do other things which may create further problems in marriage. If you don't question this behavior now then believe me it will create serious issues for you after marriage and also do some referencing on him as well.
Muhammad1982,
Editor, IslamicAnswers.com
Lol i was thinking the same! If ur not married yet then how do u even have these kind of conversation... shameful
Lol I agree with you on that one....
1. It is Haram to talk about this prior to marriage
2. It is Haram
3. Tell him, the part with obeying your husband didnt come to the holy book if Quran so that a human who is 90% of the time following his basic urges.
4. If he is a true muslim he should see a muslim family councelor and ask this himself. The risk is the scholar will take a serious discussion with this man.
What if both struggles to fight their urges to want to perform anal in marriage?
Is this really true that they no longer considered married if they do? If this is now really true what should they remarry?? Can someone plz give proper straight advise an not mixed up where one says one thing an the other another thing cause its really confusing (give straight quranic directly from the holy book not adding any of ur own words or asumtions of what a curtain verse could mean plz)
Anal sex is haram and is a serious sin in Islam. It is contrary to human nature, unclean, and increases chances of sexually transmitted diseases. However, it does not break the nikah.
More importantly, my advice to sister jawii is not to marry this man - run from him as fast as you can. Break off your engagement to him and cut off all contact with him. This man is obviously corrupt and sick inside. This is not a man that a Muslim woman should marry or spend her life with.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Agreed.
I strongly agree with brother Wael advice. If a man can talk such a thing like this before married then I am sure this man will force this sister to do anal and torture her every-time when they will have sex.
Salam sister
when I read your post about your future husband insists to do anal sex when you are married later, i believe he takes this 'lesson' from Westeners that don't know about halal and haram. as Muslim it is already clear that men are forbidden to come to women / wives from behind ( anal ). I read some articles about anal sex and it is right what Brother Wael said. More diseases will be transferred because it is not the right place and do you think it is nice to do it while just to think about it already makes me disgusted and lower us as women. I agree with sister Nadia said, he will torture you and force you to do this as his brain already full of this 'haram thought'.
Pls think about it or you need to know more about your future husband first before stepping to a marriage or regret it. life is like hell if you live with a husband who just follows his lust and your question in the forum is a sign that your inner self talks that all these things are incorrect so you need support from our brothers and sisters.
Having sex while we are having mestruation is forbidden and cause some health problems when we do it.
Oral sex is the variety of sex and I think it is each choice to do or not to do.
Salam
Before choosing a spouse, u look for four things in them-
1. Beauty
2. Wealth
3. Lineage
4. Virtue
And the prophet (pbuh) said that out of these, virtue is the best.
Please don't throw this abberation upon "westerners". There are many of us in the west who understand halal vs. haraam with regard to such matters regardless of whether we are muslim, jews, christians,agnostics or atheists.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_views_on_anal_sex
Many sisters believe that their husbands can demand anything and everything when it comes to the bedroom. However, this is not the case.
Sexual relations, even within a marriage, are subject to the rulings of Sacred Law. Islam is a complete way of life and there is an etiquette for every situation and every relationship.
For a healthy view of marital intimacy, we must consult the Sunna of our Beloved Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, who was the "best of you to his family."
Anal sex is prohibited in clear texts from the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace. A man who forces anal sex on his wife has sinned an enormity and is liable to being cursed by Allah, and we seek refuge in that!
This is not an area Muslim couples should play around with. Anal sex is repulsive and simply has no place in a Muslim's sex life. It runs counter to the spirit of Islamic marriage, which is premised on love and mercy. Not only is anal sex physically injurious, it also violates the rights of the wife, who is entitled to vaginal intercourse and the right to have progeny through this intercourse if she wishes.
Furthermore, anal sex is reminscent of the way homosexual males approach each other. So why would a Muslim man wish to engage in this action with his wife when there are so many other permissible ways of experiencing sexual pleasure?
Remember, each soul is accountable to Allah Ta'ala for what they have earned. Therefore, you are responsible before Allah Ta'ala according to the hadith of the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, "No obedience to creation in disobedience to the Creator."
Help your husband to obey Allah by not consenting to this reprehensible action. Please suggest other alternatives to your husband. There are many options to explore that are conducive to a healthy, halal sex life.
If your husband still keeps forcing anal sex, then you need to seek counseling. If you say no, and your husband keeps on going, then this is considered marital rape, and no woman should tolerate this.
So please see what can be done about creating a healthy, happy sexual relationship wherein each spouse is respected and given the Islamic courtesy they deserve.
May Allah Ta'ala guide your husband to what is right.
And Allah Ta'ala knows best.
I find it very interesting that people keep on saying that anal sex comes from the west and that no one practiced oral sex at the early times.
If there is a Hadith that clearly says that anal sex is HARAM--doesn't that mean that it DIDN'T come from the WEST!?@ It was mentioned by our Prophet pbuh--there was no "west" at that time! So please, let's stop blaming the west and east.
As for oral-how do people know that this came about later? I mean, as far as I understand, ISLAM is a religion and message for all humans--not just Muslims. Did people go around discussing what they were doing in their bedrooms?
As for what is allowed--I think there is SO MUCH HIKMA in the fact that Prophet Muhammad PBUH mentioned what was NOT ALLOWED rather than what was. SubhanALLAH! Think about it people. He kept a veil on the relationship of husband and wife and said do not do anal sex and sex during menstruation--by not going into great detail, he has then let us know as Muslims how we should live our marital lives. Can you imagine if a list was given for what was allowed???? SubhanALLAH, the wisdom in mentioning what we are NOT allowed gives such dignity to the relationship of husband and wife.
So I think that we should be careful about the advice we give to others....and not think about what came from the West and all--because Islam is the perfect message for ALL humans at ALL times. Alhumdulillah. Our Creator KNEW about all the things we would be facing.
As for the sister--Please do not comply with the wishes of a man, who isn't your husband and I would say, do not marry this man. If, Allah forbid, you have to face such a situation with your future husband--then now you have enough advice from this thread. May Allah give you the best husband--more than you could imagine. Ameen. Thummah Ameen.
ASSALAMALAIKUM
THE CULTURE AND THAT CULTURE EXAMPLE I WILL GIVE YOU BELOW WHICH INCLUDES PUNISHMENT FOR HOMOSEXUALS LESBIANS EVERY ONE WHO HAD UNNATURAL SEX /ANAL ETC ETC-
http://xeniagreekmuslimah.wordpress.com/2009/10/17/adultery-and-gods-punishment/
What happened to the people of this city is totally identical with the following verse, God be he blessed and exalted says 🙁 So, when they forgot (the warning) with which they had been reminded, We opened for them the gates of every (pleasant) thing, until in the midst of their enjoyment in that which they were given, all of a sudden, We took them (in punishment), so! They were plunged into destruction with deep regrets and sorrows.* so the root of the people who did wrong was cut off. And all the praises and thanks are to Allah, the Lord of the ‘Âlamîn (mankind, jinn, and all that exists) (Sûrat Al-An’âm- verse 44-45).
Indeed God had opened for them gates of every pleasant thing, as mentioned before such as natural resource, rains , best crops , etc….but they forgot their God and followed their instincts , so they died by this terrifying way .
Sister,
As a woman you are not a slave to your husband- if he asks for you inappropriate things- you do not have to listen. Respect is a two way street. Dont forget that. Dont fall into that trap of i have to obey business sister, you have to stand up for yourself always, because your future husband is a human being and he is not perfect.
Making your lord happy is much better than making a husband happy int terms of commiting acts that are not appropriate.
Can a wife force her husband for intercourse while in periods?? And what husband should do?? Is he allowed to go for it or no???
It is haram to have sexual intercourse while the wife is on her period.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
What if a woman is a new Muslim and she married a man but didn't herself have any iman yet and didn't even know how to pray , what if she proposed anal sex or sex during mensturation not fully understanding the seriousness of the sin , and the husband who had been Muslim his whole life wanting to please her gives in and performs these acts . Is not more of the blame to be put on the man as mentioned before that he should discourage this haram behavior and fear Allah by teaching his new Muslim wife that these things are very haram in Islam ? Then later when she repents and cries to Allah for forgiveness not wanting to repeat the sin , the husband now thinking this is the only way to please her , continues to do haram things with her ,and now on the verge of a divorce after more than 7 years when the wife brings up all of the haram things she is told it was her fault , that the husband was only trying to please her , I believe the husband is more to blame because a woman cannot perform these acts on herself and the man should show some restraint and try to correct any bad behavior of his new Muslim wife instead of encouraging it .
Khadijah, As-salamu alaykum. It's not productive to focus on whose fault it was, or who was more to blame. Instead, simply make tawbah, stop doing those haram acts, and (assuming you stay together) love each other in a halal way going forward.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I wanna ask abt sex . is it good to do n opn lights or not
It's up to you and your husband. There is nothing wrong with having the lights on. Of course many people are shy or insecure about their bodies and prefer low light or darkness.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
if any body do prohibited sex in islam with his wife. so he done a bad work but he is want to toba from Allha what he did? any sadka and other any way that Allha pak forgave them.
I have a question. If a husband and wife do have anal sex and the wife was unaware of it being haraam then How can the wife ask for forgivness of allah and will she be able to pray salah or how long after can she pray and if it has happened 2nd time and she knew bit was forced by husband will she be forgiven, how can she ask for forgivness or repent? How can both husband and wife repent for the sin they have unknowingly or knowingly commited? They have 3 kids she cant divorce him. Please help
samii, there is no need for divorce, and there is no barrier to salat. The couple can simply make tawbah and ask Allah for forgiveness.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
How can she to tawbah? Is there an easy way to do or can she just ask for forgivness in dua after salat
If u miss salat for any reason how can a person pray kaza if more than a week od salat has been missed
The guy is not even your husband yet and he is asking to perform different sexual positions with you? Such as anal sex which is forbidden and any average Muslim should know this which is surprising that you didn't even address it. Praying 5 times a day doesn't mean you know your religion. I hope you didn't marry this guy because he definitely watched too much porn and erotic movies and he is not looking for a wife but a sex slave to perform on. Forget about him and don't become miserable.