Questions regarding suicide not answered before
As-Salaam-Alaikum,
My question is regarding suicide. I have made up my mind to commit suicide after much thought and I just had some questions regarding certain hadith’s that I could not get clarification for. I understand for some of these questions only Allah knows best. However, any opinion/answer you can give me regarding my questions would really give me a sense of peace (if you can call it that) while I wait to complete all my business so I can kill myself. Please answer freely and without the goal of trying to talk me out of my decision because I plan on killing myself regardless of the answers. I just want to have a sense of knowing and peace as I mentioned above. I wont get into what caused me to feel this way because I'm not looking for sympathy. And I feel like as I would be wasting your time because I have already made up my mind.
My first question is regarding the hadith related to committing suicide because of a mental disorder. I’m very logical, methodical and have self-control. But I suffer from major depression. I’m in my late 20’s and I have been suffering from it for over 10 years. I was diagnosed officially 8 years ago by a psychiatrist. I have tried medication; it does not work for me. It’s so bad that I can’t do every day normal things without great effort.
For example, the job that I hold is so easy that I literally get paid for showing up, doing nothing and getting paid a lot for it. But my depression is so bad that even doing that much feels like torture. So imagine the rest of my day….EVERYTHING is a struggle and I’m in constant mental pain while I’m awake. So my first question is under these circumstances do you think my suicide would be one that’s done while under the influence of a mental illness?
Next, I know the hadith of a Muslim having even one atom worth of faith committing suicide has been covered. And I know I’m going to hell for my suicide but do the following hadith increase my chances of being forgiven quicker?
“When a person recites "Iaa-ilaaha-illallah" 70 000 times, he is granted salvation from the Fire (Jahannam)”
"Glorify Allah a hundred times by just saying “Subhanallah” and a Good deeds will be written for you, or a thousand sins will be wiped away.”
What I’m saying is in your opinion how do you think those two hadiths relate to a person who commits suicide?
Last question is I have built up a considerable fortune over the last few years. It’s enough to let those that are closest to me have the option to never have to work again if they so choose. It’s also enough for me to leave as zakat much much more than the 2.5% zakat that is required. Even if I count 2.5% zakat for the rest of my life, the amount I leave will be much greater than that. Is there any hadith/Quran passage that mention anything about if these will count as good deeds for me even though they will be done after my death?
For anyone who will comment on this please do not leave any judgments. I just want answers to my question. I have researched suicide as it relates to Islam extensively so I know all the consequences, passages from the Quran and hadiths related to the subject. I KNOW I’m going to hell when I do this so there is no need to scare me with that.
I know my iman is very weak but my faith in Allah and belief of Islam is as strong as any Muslim. So please don’t say “all my good actions/recitations wont count because if I truly believed in Allah I won’t commit suicide.” That’s why I ask the questions I do. Because me reciting “subhanallah” and "Iaa-ilaaha-illallah" is genuine. I will mean it when I recite those. So based on that what do you think my chances are that Allah may lessen my time in hell? Thank you for reading.
-Mujibur
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I don't really know if there is anyone on here who can guide you properly...I myself believe that Allah is the greatest and he knows Exactly what is in your heart and why you are having the thoughts that you are having...knows your intentions etc...he can forgive anyone he chooses, whenever he chooses.
Just want to recommend one thing. Please consider it. I myself am going through Really bad depression where I myself want to end my life...I know I will never do it though...what I am doing to try and get through it to get close to god...to get answers,..I'm going to go do Umrah in Ramzaan ia... I think you should do that...go there...you might get some answers when you go there,..some peace inshallah... Try that before you do what you're thinking of doing...if that is possible for you to do.. If you can't,...give me your name, and inshallah I will do an umrah for you in your name.
I wish there was something I could do...So sorry you're going through this
Hope Allah eases your pain
Wassalams Rumi
Mashallah you are blessed to go and perform umrah in this beautiful month of Ramadan. Please do dua for me too. I wish to re unite with my husband and children's please do dua for me
Jazakallah my name is Maryam
Sister may allah fulfill ur duas.
Please pray my husband takes me back very soon ameen
Sister Rumi Pls, make a dua for me in Umarah so that i can come out from the depression now i m going through it. an unexpected accident happened in my life soon and sometime i think i should kill myself. pls pray for me so that i can get rid off this pain.
Sister Rumi,
my full name is Nurun Nahar, pls...pls..pls...... pray for me in Umrah.
Wow mashallah such amnice awnser an such loyal person,,performing umrah for onself is not easy,,and u are willing to do umrah for this sister,,mashallah.may allah give u the reward in return for this!ameen
You are so lucky ur going for umrah an that in ramadan the last special ten days,,is always been a pre wish of mines to go in ramadan,,but inshallah next year for sure will..please dodua for me as much as you can write my name in your dairy top lost,,if theres anyway i can contact you thru email so i can lst some duas u can do for me,,it brings tears in my eyes when i think of that place,,i been therelast year an hajj in 2007.
This depressed sis with the illness is a very faithful person deep inside,its why she wrote this post,,allah mabye wanted some good peple to reply her in good ways,so she can take a step back and stop whats shes about to put herself in..shaytan tempts us always into doin theses things especially allahs lfaithful belivers...me myself is always on this site because of all the problems iam facing,in my early aged life..at least one a day i think about suicide,but thinking about izrael the angel of death tourturing my soul i cant bear it ,,an then thinking how i will face allah,,he loves me so much,how can i possibly do this..i hope i never in mylife make the mistake,,even though imthinkmto do it always..i hope thus sis fins peace,and hope she realizes shes in this world jus for a verry very short period..an helll will last for ever...may allah forgive an help us all.ameen(and rumi plz reply back)
Thank you for your response sister. I pretty much figured from my studies that only Allah knows the answer to some of the questions I asked. I just hope that he will take into account that although I'm a sinner I have only sinned against myself. I have always tried my best never to hurt other and help them as much as possible. And I hope Allah will take that into account when he judges me.
I'm very sorry to hear that your going through depression. I can say I know what you are going through and truly mean it. I hope that Allah will you relive if of your pain quickly because you sound like a very kind person.. I'm not able to go to umrah so if you could please do a dua for me I would very much be grateful. Please use my username when saying the dua for me, Allah knows who you pray for. I prefer to keep my real name anonymous.
Assalamu Alaykum,
My dear sister remember me my family and every ummah of Islam in your Precious Dua's also Jazakkalahu Khair
Assalaamualaikam
The first thing I will say is that I am so sorry you are going through so much pain. Depression can be a crippling illness and people often underestimate the huge burden it can be to live with that pain. You mention you have seen a psychiatrist and tried medication but without much improvement in your symptoms. It might be worth considering revisiting this - many different medications and psychological treatment options are available, as well as ECT, which has moved on a long way from the picture shown in the media and actually has a very high success rate in treating depression. From the tone of your post, I get the impression that you aren't someone who likes to leave things unfinished, so I would encourage you to explore the treatment options available to you.
It's important to consider the impact of your death on those you would leave behind. While it may feel that there might be nobody who would be upset, I can pretty much promise you that is not the case. Family, friends, colleagues... Every person's life impacts on the lives of those around them. Losing a loved one is a devastating experience, but when that is by suicide, it is even more painful. A dear family friend of mine lost her husband by suicide, and even now, 40 years later, she still cannot answer the questions raised by his death - why did he feel he had to die? why couldn't he talk to her or someone else? what was he thinking and feeling at the end? I feel it's very important for you to speak with your loved ones or with someone at work, or your doctor, as if you end your life, they will have questions that cannot be answered after you have gone.
I do not know whether the hadiths you mention would apply to your situation, but I do know that life is precious. Hell is described as a torment beyond our imagining. While this life may feel unbearable, don't accept the Hellfire as being a preferable alternative. Not while there are still options to explore. My understanding of the gravity of suicide as a sin, is that while we can repent and beg Allah's forgiveness for sins we commit, we can't really do that once the life has left our bodies - and I don't believe it's possible to repent in advance as part of repentance is taking steps to avoid the sin.
I would ask you, from one Muslim to another, to consider what I have written, and to speak to someone in person before carrying out what you have considered. Nobody knows for sure what happens when we leave this world, but please don't take action to end your life without first at least exploring the other options available.
Your sister in Islam,
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Yes sister your perception about me is correct. I always like to do things to completion. That is one of the reasons I have fought this urge for 10 years. I have tried everything you can imagine that may have a chance of making me feel better.
I have a theory regarding why medication has a lacking effect on me. My body is very resistant to outside effects. For example, I have a sleeping pill that's supposed to make you sleep for 8 hours but it only makes me sleep for 4! When I mentioned this theory to my doctor he said that it’s a strong possibility that I'm correct. On the bright side because of my resistance I hardly ever get sick and I'm in excellent health, which is very ironic to me.
I have tried talking to people. At first I didn't want to burden anyone with my depression and suicidal thoughts. But as the years passed by I realized nothing was working so I became desperate because I know the consequence of my actions. I have talked to everyone and it doesn’t make me feel even a bit better.
However, I’m very aware of how much my actions will hurt those around me. Most of the closest to me know that I’m suicidal/depressed because I have talked with them. They just don’t know that I have finally made up my mind. That’s why I plan on quitting my job and spending a lot of time with the ones I love before I leave them. I know it won’t help them with the pain. But I want them to have good memories with me and not have any unanswered questions as with your friend’s husband when I leave.
Bro,
I understand the need to end it all (Been in your shoes and had almost tried it myself because of whats happened to me and my once smiling family during the last 2 years) Anyways, when everything has become a question, rather then thinking of ending it all, why not learn to fight against this? You have said it yourself that Mashallah you are paid a lot of money to just show-up at work. OK. So that revenue, why not spend it in a way of helping those less fortunate then yourself? You think you have depression, but can you imagine what depression millions of people face, those who don't know when their next meal is or when it will come after days of starving? Have you ever felt the pain of a mother who is losing her child due to lack of basic facilities in-front of her eyes and is helpless? Have you ever gone days without water? Allah has blessed you with many hidden blessings but you haven't learn't to see them. Thank Him and then see the peace you seek you get by helping others. A person who gets the duaa made for them by someone else is a very rare thing. A heartfelt duaa made is a blessing which has no value.
If you want to kill yourself that is a decision left to you but before you venture down that path I would request you review your situation no matter how bad with those others in this world and I am sure you will begin to see that no matter how bad your life seems, there is sadly there are alot of people in much worse situations.
Bro, hell has become a word in this day an age and no one really knows what it truly means. You burn day in and out at least until the day of Judgement. If you want to know what that feels like, just try putting your hand over a burning stove and see how long you last. As you retract bear in mind that you were able to do this easily. In Hell. You can't. Bro, you have this small number of years to decide the hereafter you get please dont waste it. If you want peace, then I will say turn towards Allah and implement more of Islam in your life as nothing will give you the sakoon your after except him. Please be honest with yourself and really ask yourself is your Imaan really that strong. For a True muslim, this life's every moment is a test and they know it that Allah will protect . Bro Ask Allah and he will make the path easier.
I hope that you do drop this thought and make use of the life you have to please Allah and soon may you be able to seek true forgiveness from him for having such notion. Life is given by Allah and we are here only to worship him.
Take care bro
Arfan.
Arfan I truly feel for the people of this world that are suffering. I was born in a third world country and saw with my own eyes the suffering of people before I moved to the USA. That is why I always give proper zakat out of my income. What you said is 100% true in regards to them suffering more than me. But knowing their suffering more than me does not change how I feel.
As I said the amount I plan on leaving for the needy of this world is more than I can ever hope to give throughout my lifetime. I do this because I know how much others suffer. I know that does not justify what I plan on doing. For me its just a personal goal to help the needy because I know they are suffering more than me. If I found out tomorrow that Allah will record no good deeds for me donating what I plan on donating; I still wouldn't take away a single penny from what I plan on giving to the poor.
assalamaleykum hi,ive read ur questions and i am so astonished that u are so have such a strong feelings in commiting suicide,plz do not life and death is given by allah its not ur choice in whatever situation u may be in ,by reading ur questions i can tell ur not crazy u just need help support,tell ur doctor to recommend u to a coucillor to talk about ur problems,have patience leave it to allah he will help u,everyone has problems u have to deal with them not go and kill yourself,theres people out there with sudden cancers etc happening to them,no ones perfect,just pray fast work trust allah talk to ur councillor and trust me ur life will become more bearable,plz for my sake a muslim friend to u,do not commit suicide,u are in the right mind,ur not out of ur mind or crazy,u seem very intelligent wise and a very bright good educated person. wasalam
Brother
I know that anything I say right now is not what you want to hear but only Allah knows the best. Alhamdulillah you have a good sustenance. I am unaware of your physical conditions but I personally request you to perform either umrah or hajj as soon as possible.
It's the month of ramadhan I am sat on my prayer matt. And I pray for all ummahs duas are accepted and may allah guide us all on the right path of islaam. Ameen
Aswak,
I can relate the frustration and pain you are going through as I myself going through depression since last 8 years.I have been diagnosed with OCD, Depression and Anxious disorder.
I have never enjoyed my life in school ,college and even my youth as 24/7 I am so much self absorbed and in my own world dealing with my chronic depression.Tears rolls down when I see people having a good life and enjoying every moment which I have not been blessed with. Most of the time I I feel I cannot deal with this anymore and wants to end up my life.It is having a huge detrimental effect on all aspects on my life like job,social relationship with people and friends and even performing simple task and thinking clearly but still I haven't given up.
One thought that gives me relief is "ALLAH will not burden a soul more than it can bear" and that's the promise of Allah. On the "DAY OF JUDGEMENT" people with suffering all the life will be entered "JANNAH" Insha Allah because Allah knows our suffering.
I suggest you consulting a good doctor and change the medication because Allah said that "for every illness Allah has sent the cure". You need to be patient and try different treatments and I am sure you will find one that works for you.Think with clear mind and don't be alone.You will get more suicidal thoughts when you are alone.These thought are not yours , those are whispers from shaitaan who is trying to deceive you. Be with someone with whom you are comfortable.
I pray ALLAH to lessen your suffering and pain and and grant you a good life in this world.
ASSALAMALAIKUM
ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE IS RIGHT AND THE ENQUIRY OF HADEES FOR SALVATION ALSO IS RIGHT SUBJECT TO YOUR NOT DOING/MISUSING AND DOING AMANATH ME KHANAYATH MEANS MISHANDLING THE TRUST OR YOU CAN SAY-
THE TRUST WHICH ALLAH HAS GIVEN TO US THAT IS OUR LIFE TILL NATURAL- DEATH WHICH IS HIS AUTHORITY HE IS THE MALIK OF THAT MEANS OWNER MALLIKE KUL THE WHOLE WORLD AND WHAT ALL IS IN IT-
WHEN HE GAVE LIFE YOU AND ME WERE NO ONE TO HANDLE IT AGAIN WE ARE NO ONE WHEN IT HAS TO BE TAKEN BACK AND NO HUMAN BEING HAS THE RIGHT TO TRY TO GRAB THAT RIGHT FROM ALLAH BY MISUSING OUR RIGHTS OF LIVING UNTIL NATURAL DEATH-PRESCRIBED FOR US AND TILL THE LAST BREATH HE HAS RESERVED OUR FOOD AND WATER AND MADE FOR US BEAUTIFUL SPOUCE AND CHILDREN WHICH A COMPLETE PROGRAMME OF CONTINUITY OF MANKIND AND IF YOU BREAK A LINAGE BY YOUR IGNORANT THINKING THAT ALSO WITHOUT THE LEAST AUTHORITY IT IS LIKE YOU ARE KILLING ONE LONG GENERATION WHICH IS YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY TO COME INTO EXISTENCE LIKE THE BUDS AND FLOWERS IN THE GARDEN WAIT FOR THE BEST BREEZE AND WATER AND SUNLIGHT TO FLOURISH LIKE THAT YOUR TINY TINY SIBLINGS ARE WAITING TO COME INTO THIS WORLD SO THINK YOU ARE A GARDENER YOU ARE PAID YOUR SALARY AND REMIND YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT THE MALIK [BOSS]AND YOU HAVE TO POUR WATER[SPERM]AND WAIT AND THEN ONCE THE FLOWERS COME INTO EXISTENCE YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN THEM THATS ALL-
SO LET TRUTH PREVAIL AND THE TRUTH IS WE ARE ONLY A TRUSTEE AND WE HAVE TO DO OUR DUTY AT ANY COST AND SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD AND THE NEXT AND EXTREMISM WILL LEAD TO NO WHERE NEITHER IN THIS WORLD NEITHER THE NEXT IT WILLSHATTER BOTH WORLDS-
LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE EDUCATED AND SENSIBLE SO LET THE SENSE SHOW ITS WORTH DO SOMETHING WHICH IS APPRICIATED NOT LIKE SCHEDULE CAST AND SCHEDULE TRIBES ACTS AND DEEDS WHICH ARE SO DOWN TRODEN THAT THEIR LIFE AND DEATH STARTS IN SLUMS AND END IN SLUMS WITH DOGS AND ANIMALS LIVING SIDE BY SIDE IN THE DIRT AND GUTTERS AND THEY ONE DAY IN THE INLFUENCE REMEMBER IN THE INFLUENCE OF A DRUG OR ALCHOHAL DO SOMETHING WHICH YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT -
THEY WONT DO WHAT U ARE THINKING OF DOING EVEN THEIR NORMAL TIME-
SO LIFT UP SELF FROM THE LOWEST-FORM OF I THINK YOUR MIND WHICH HAS JUST TH INFLUENCE OF SATAN AS HE SAID HE WILL BEGUILE THE SON OF ADAM TILL HE JOINS HIS ARMY AND ALLAH SAID -
O mankind! Keep your duty to your Lord and fear a Day when the parent will not be able to avail the child in aught, nor the child to avail the parent. Lo! Allah's promise is the very truth. Let not the life of the world beguile you, nor let the deceiver beguile you, in regard to Allah.
REGARDS
Imaan,
I have written your name down in my diary. Rest assured, I will make a special dua for you, your husband and children ia.
Salaams brothers,
It felt unbelievable reading your post as you sound so cold and logical about wanting to commit suicide whilst fully aware of its consequence.
It makes little sense that a person who wants to commit suicide due to depression and not being able to function daily because of their mental anguish thinks that hell will be a better alternative!The pain of hell will make your depression feel like a walk in the park on a beautiful day. Its as simple as that.
A hadith states that the most happiest man who ever lived since the time of the first man to be created to the end of time will be taken into hell for a few second and he will be asked 'did you ever know happiness?' and he will say " what is happiness?' and the most unhappiest man to have lived since the beginning of time till the end of time will be taken to paradise for a few seconds and will be asked " did you ever know any unhappiness?' and he will answer " what is unhappiness?'
I think its brilliant advice that you go for umrah during this month and make intense dua to Allah to relieve you off your depression. Also drink a lot of zamzam as it s very blessed and prophet (saw) has told us that the water of zamzam 'is for whatever its drunk for' so if you drink it with need for curing your depression IA He will cure you!
Lastly rather than reading on the consequence of suicide etc why not read up on cure for depression? there are many duas for this and reciting them after every salah will help immensely.
I will make dua for you during this scared and blessed month. Use your wealth wisely and go for umrah especially in the last ten days of this month and see what it does for you before you take any drastic steps.
Asalamoalaikum brother,
You say you know you will be going to hell and yet before you call it quits your soul wants to somehow find peace that you may not enter hellfire for going through with your decision. I do not think you don't love Allah swt. In fact, from your post, all I can sense is the strong faith you have in Allah swt and even after you're dead, you would like to offer good to this world. In a nutshell, you still have hope in Allah swt's mercy, then why do you think brother that He doesn't see this, that He won't reward you for your pain and endurance? You're justification from committing suicide is on the basis of insanity. Allah swt inshAllah will forgive those people because they were not in the correct mental state when they made that decision. However, although you are depressed, you are NOT insane. In fact, you seem like a very intelligent and articulate human being.
I know mental health disorders can eat away a person inside while still looking like they're intact from the outside. Believe me when I say I know exactly how you feel. I would never share these intimate details of my life with anyone but for your sake, because I truly care about you, I would like to tell you something. I'm sure before you call it quits there is not harm in reading one last message.
I've been:
(1) Molested and raped at a very young age.
(2) Observed physical abuse that my father put my mother through. He would lock her in a room and beat her with a belt while I would be crying outside the door begging my father to stop.
(3) Physically abused and had my bones broken by my sibling.
(4) Depressed for as long as I can remember. The cherry on top is that I suffer from OCD (it used to be severe before but alhmdulillah has reduced with time). I've been seeing physiatrists from the age of 8 and even right now I have been recommended to take anti-depressant medication along with counseling/therapy.
(5) Been through a phase in life where someone used and abused me.
I fight with the constant negative thoughts everyday. Believe me they never stop, not even in my sleep. Many times I've contemplated suicide. Recently, I began writing suicide notes, walking by the place I wanted to call "quits" but every single time I decide to give up, a small voice inside me tells me this pain, no matter how painful it is right now will one day come to an end. This life will come to an end, this pain is temporary, but the pain of hellfire is permanent. This is what stops me from ending my life each time. Why on earth would I want to loose my duniya AND akhira?
You are trying to put this temporary misery to an end but do you have any idea what misery is awaiting you? And you know what...that pain won't even have an end.
Please don't do it brother, I am telling you, it's not worth it.
-Helping Sister
Maryam (Imaan)
We share the same name:)
I'm going in the last 10 days Ia...and I promise I will do dua for you.
Take care
Mariam
Asalam alaikum Mujibur,
You dont make any sense. If you want to go paradise then just stay alive...i mean, ur smart and you know the answers to all ur own questions, obviously. Having sooo much money why dont you move away from your problems to a different spot in the world, instead of different spot in the hereafter? Trust me, i would love to help you be happy, so move to the Bahamas or somewhere nice? Moving into hell is not a good warm vacation spot...and that time in hell never ends...just saying. So just move and get over it. Pretend that you are killing your old life and dont look back. Salams, Shereen
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
My brother, Allah and His Messenger are clear on this matter. The fate of one who dies committing a major sin is the fire, no matter what preceded it.
Brother,
I think a lot of people have thought about suicide when the going gets tough. But I have also heard a hadith that Allah will not burden a soul with more then he can bear.
Although you say you are severly depressed or mentally ill. I do not think this is correct as you are able to write your story perfectly. I was depressed for some time I could not even contemplate going to work or write a few words, let alone write a post!
Alhamdullilah I am much better now. I still have problems but I know that somehow allah will provide me the solutions or ease my pain.
There is always a solution to every problem.
Why don't you tell us exactly why you are depressed? maybe someone here can help you in some way. Help does not have to be sympathy.
I pray that Allah opens your eyes and gives you patience.
from your post it seems like you are hopeful of Allah's mercy in the world hereafter but not in this world. Why be doubtful like this????
If Allah has given you insight to real purpose of Life then live that purpose . dont reject life.
I have made dua for you while fasting. May Allah make it easy for you.
Nurun Nahar.
Noted.
Hope things improve for you
Please don't do it. I have a brother that is thinking about taking his own life, also tried a couple of times. And everyday it haunts me and it hurts me so much. There is nothing worse for a family to go through knowing the person you love is in pain and even worse eternal pain if he goes through with it. At least you have your faith which can hold you back. My brother doesn't even believe in God or anything. You were chosen by Allah to be a muslim. Not everyone is that lucky. Dont throw that away. Don't do this to yourself or anybody that loves you because no one will win and both you and your loved ones will suffer forever. And if you don't have anyone, just say the word and you can contact me.
Be patient don't worry death will come when it's right time for you. Don't write your own death by committing suicide Allah already wrote when you will die so in the mean time use it with praying and ask Allah to forgive you.
Mujibur:
Will do.
Hope you're feeling a little better and really taking in everyone's advice.
May god protect you and watch over you, always.
Take care
Thank you sister. And to everyone that responded thank you for all your support. I read each and every one of your responses and I appreciate that you cared enough to write. The only real hope I have is that my affairs will take the next few years to settle. Mabye Allah will set in motion something in that time that will help me change my mind. Until then I will visit this great website from time to time and share my knowledge of Islam with others who are seeking answers.
Brother Mujibur,
Has what anyone has written made you change you mind in any way? Have you, inshallah, decided to not do anything? I'm so glad to hear from you...