Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Christian woman reconnected with the child’s father (Muslim) after over a decade

wedding flowers

Hi

I'm a Christian woman  who got pregnant by a muslim man over 13 years ago.  We had no idea I was pregnant at that time so he left for U.S  afterwards to study.   He was a good Muslim man and we have reconnected after all these years.  I live in Europe and he is so happy over the news of the child he did not know of.  I'm still in  love with him and he is too as we are both mature and we are considering taking the next step towards marriage.

My Parents have no problem me getting married to him as he is a good Muslim and also a  father to my child.  This site has helped to understand a lot about Muslim religion and therefore I'm eternally grateful.  I want to learn more about Islamic religion so I can get a deeper understanding on how to handle my marriage and my future husband.   We love each other deeply and I know through God's guidance all shall be well.

My only question is how will will his family handle the new situation?   Now a teenager who they had no idea existed?  Will his family approve of me and the child?  We are both young and educated so we want nothing from each other apart from happiness and peace and a HAPPY reunion after all these years.  But as a christian I was brought up to believe that the acceptance of inlaws is important where marriage is concerned.  I love him deeply and don't want him to think of only us but also his family.

 

 

Leyla Says:

Salaam Flo,

What a blessing to be able to be a united and loving family after all of these years and to connect like this in faith.

It is natural to worry about what his family will think and do and so on and so forth, but the best advice I can give you is to not concern yourself with such questions. In any situation (be it good, bad or whatever) as long as we maintain the best practice of good character: everything can be handled and dealt with. This is why, when we have strong faith and we practice good character: the intentions, actions and potential hurt that other people can cause to us should have hardly no power and hardly no significance, because we know that we are not the cause of them, and we know that we will continue to be joyful and loving after them.

If there is a negative reaction from his family, you will still have love and joy, family and marriage in your life - and there is still time for them to learn to accept, and love and have joy in what the two of you are doing. If there is a positive reaction from his family, then you have only added to your stockpile of things to be happy about and greatful for. So negative or positive: you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain - so do not fear these things. These fears are symptoms of some nerves and a sign of your desire to be a complete unit, and that is a beautiful desire to have - May Allah assist you in reaching this.

The acceptance of in-laws is important -however in the event of that acceptance not coming immediately - you have the whole rest of your life to find it.

Peace,

Leyla, Editor, Islamic Answers


Tagged as: , , , , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. Leyla Says:

    Salaam Flo,

    What a blessing to be able to be a united and loving family after all of these years and to connect like this in faith.

    It is natural to worry about what his family will think and do and so on and so forth, but the best advice I can give you is to not concern yourself with such questions. In any situation (be it good, bad or whatever) as long as we maintain the best practice of good character: everything can be handled and dealt with. This is why, when we have strong faith and we practice good character: the intentions, actions and potential hurt that other people can cause to us should have hardly no power and hardly no significance, because we know that we are not the cause of them, and we know that we will continue to be joyful and loving after them.

    If there is a negative reaction from his family, you will still have love and joy, family and marriage in your life - and there is still time for them to learn to accept, and love and have joy in what the two of you are doing. If there is a positive reaction from his family, then you have only added to your stockpile of things to be happy about and greatful for. So negative or positive: you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain - so do not fear these things. These fears are symptoms of some nerves and a sign of your desire to be a complete unit, and that is a beautiful desire to have - May Allah assist you in reaching this.

    The acceptance of in-laws is important -however in the event of that acceptance not coming immediately - you have the whole rest of your life to find it.

    Peace,

    Leyla, Editor, Islamic Answers

  2. Thank you so much for your answer Leyla. I fully understand your point. We are still going strong together and looking forward to a bright future. May Allah guide us all the times.

    Flo.

  3. did you get married ?

    _________________
    May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

Leave a Response

Cancel Reply