Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Rejected proposal after istikhara, but now feel extreme regret.

English Translation of the Dua for Istikhaarah

Dua for Istikhaarah

Assalamu alaikum,

I recently considered a righteous brother for marriage, but felt a strong sense of doubt in my heart after making istikhara and said no as a result. My parents were also of the mind to say no, due to his financial situation (returning to school) and family circumstances (mental illness in mother-in-law, which was initially hidden from us). Now, I am feeling regret because my personality and religiosity were highly compatible with the brother, and I have lingering feelings for him.

I made another istikhara and asked my father (wali) to recontact the brother saying that we wished to discuss the decision further, however the brother did not respond. I should also mention that he was highly unresponsive during our meetings, at one point taking three weeks to respond to a text message inviting him for dinner.

Why is my heart not at ease despite making istikhara? How do I know that I have not accidentally turned down my soulmate? I have developed feelings for him during the conversations we had together.

Wasalam,

Your sister

Hope19

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2 Responses »

  1. salaam, sister if he was or is ur soul mate he wouldn't have left or will come back, because whatever Allah has decreed willl surely take place, trust him, i know its hard, but trust me after sorrow comes ease. May Allah make you happy, ameen. Allah might have protected you from something, trust Allah. A similar situation occurd in my life but he rejected me, its been a while, however it stilll stings, however i assure u Allah loves you and everything willl be okay xxx

  2. The fact he was unresponsive and didn't respond back to you clearly shows he is not your soulmate.

    Your heart is not at ease because you still have feelings for him, and seems like you are having trouble letting him go. Sometimes our hearts want things which are essentially bad for us or not meant for us. We must train ourselves to separate our emotions and think from a logical perspective.

    You got attached to him during your conversations and that's normal, and with time, you will also get over him, InshaAllah. We all deserve someone who is eager and actually willing to marry us in halal ways.

    May Allah ease your pain, and grant you someone who will be best of you for in Dunya, Deen and Akhirah, Ameen ya Rab

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