Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Rejecting His Proposal Was A Huge Mistake

woman in regret, sad, depressed

Salaam Sisters,

I am very upset and depressed. Please read this and tell me what to do.

I am a born Muslim and I sometimes pray and sometimes don't. From many years I have been praying for a husband according to my demands. I did wazifa and all. I did everything. A fortnight ago I received a proposal from a guy that was super rich (businessman), lived alone, was pious (maybe dunno) and had a big house. My family and I were happy that my first proposal is such a great one, but when my parents asked me whether I agree or not, the only answer that came from within me was " No". I too was shocked and after seeing his picture I said I won't marry him and gave a petty excuse. Sometimes I would agree, sometimes I won't. But in the end I said I didn't like him, the "no" is coming from inside me. I tried to say yes but.....

Now when the answer is given, since that day I have been regretting it and praying harder for Him to come back or somehow his mother contacts again. I have cried, begged, prayed and asked Allah's forgiveness and pray tahajjud too. In that and all I ask Him to return the guys just give me one chance. I was in the wrong. I curse myself that why did "No" come out of me. He was just perfect. And I am regretting it alot.

Can someone please tell me what to do? Any wazifa to bring him back? Will Allah give me another chance and another one like this? Will Allah forgive me for refusing such an alliance? Will He send another one if I do the same wazifa? I feel like killing myself, So, please if anyone know please tell me what to.

Advise me quickly please.

Thank you.



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11 Responses »

  1. Salaam sister, pls stop panicking, if it's meant to be it will work out even if you did initially say no. But what's more important is why you said no to begin with? Was it his physical appearance Becsuse you mentioned seeing his picture and then refusing? Perform istikhara, and if you really feel that he was the right guy for you then let your parents know. Say you have thought about it a bit more and you feel you were hasty in your original response but would like to meet him, then leave it in your parents and Allah swts hands. If it js meant to be, it will work out.

  2. Oh sister, please don't be so hard on yourself. We're human, we can't be perfect in every choice we make. But I'll tell you something- I am so happy you started praying and making dua to Allah- just don't stop, whether your situation changes or life goes on. If you want the guy back, I think maybe you should try telling your parents how you feel. Since they supported you before, maybe they can arrange a meeting or contact him or something.

    If that happens, alhamdulillah. But remember to make sure you know where he stands on his deen (of course only Allah knows a person's heart, but the goal is to have someone who will help you strive on the straight path). Because wealth, looks, or status will go away, whether it's a day away or twenty years.

    If it really seems like the case is closed, it's okay to be upset. But ask Allah to make things easier for you, and make lots of dhikr, read Qur'an, do whatever you have to in order to feel closer to Allah. That eventually treats every emotional wound- trust me.

    And alhamdulillah- if you want to get married, talk to your parents about what you want in a husband, so they can help you search the halal way.

    If you're feeling absolutely depressed, call out to Allah, as much as you like. There's no limit. Do what you have to do to feel better- eat your favorite food, read a good book, play a sport, watch your favorite movie (a halal one of course).

    Take care sister, and remember never to despair of Allah's love and mercy.

    From a sister.

    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

  3. Sister,
    the first thing you mentioned about him is he is " super rich (businessman), lived alone, was pious (maybe dunno) and had a big house."

    Pious??? NOT KNOWN. Now you want to kill yourself for rejecting this proposal. Can you see what kind of husband you are looking to marry? I do not understand what made you want to kill yourself. If there is another "super rich proposal" come up, will you just jump right in this time? What else are you looking for a husband?

  4. I'm sure you will receive more proposals. Take this as a learning experience. You won't be so hasty next time. Please stop fretting.

  5. Sis you can make this simple and ask ur parents to find out if he's still single...if he is tell them to approach him and say of he's still looking ur ready fr marriage. Inshallah take a chance

  6. Ifbu dnt try n hold these feelings inside u it wont translate let it out if it happens good if nt isn't meant to be

  7. Moneys not everything people dont always seem pious muslim once married. Think things clearly and dont be too hard on yourself. It will come when its meant to be and keep praying to Allah. Another serous note I would pass on to you and people getting proposals is the phase "oh his super rich and loaded". Do not think about this because people reading your post will think your greedy and only to marry someone just because they are loaded etc. Money is not guaranteed you can have it today tomorrow you just dont know what else can it buy you. Can it give you respect honor I dont think so something we lacking in today's society. Look for the qualities of that person rather than the materialistic things this is why some marriages fail.

  8. Masha'Allaah!

    Sister the only thing Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) Wants with you is the connection. Look you made it. Can't you see the pain you had gone through and the prayers you made. What is the result? It is not the person you are regretting. No, obviously not.

    It is Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala). Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) Wants You to remember Him (Allaah). That's it. You will get 100 times better person insha'Allaah. No worries at all. Just have "BELIEVE" in Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala). And you will see the miracles happening in your life.

    I no need to say best of luck. You have Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) that is enough.

    Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) knows the best.

  9. OP: My family and I were happy that my first proposal is such a great one, but when my parents asked me whether I agree or not, the only answer that came from within me was " No".

    Why exactly you said "no" to the propsal?

  10. Don't over worry yourself sister, if this Man is yours he 'll be yours , and if he isn't , he 'll never be stop worrying yourself over this .....GOD Is there for u and u have to leave everything to him ....GOD bless.

  11. oh okay he is super rich and when you saw a picture of him you was shocked by his appearance whether you saw his face or full figure.

    but know you think that doesn't matter and think about his money. of course you will

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