Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Relationship with non-Muslim Chinese girl, does it have a future?

Chinese peopleAssalamu alaikum,

I am a 22 year medical student, studying in china. When i reached here my aim was only to study well and go back home. Alhamdulillah my first year was great. I got scholarships, took part in many events and was friendly with all. But my seniors didn't talk to me as i didn't drink or go for chat with them.

i had 7 good friends including two muslims. most of them had girlfriends except me. i was someone who will directly go for the others when they have some problems.

After my vacation of first year when came back in second year. one of a senior got involved in our friendship group and made my friends to drink and go for parties. they make use of an innocent friend to carryout all these. it totally irritated me. i directly told them what they are doing is wrong and asked to stop. after this they started making distance from me.

during this i got invitation from a girl to do a part time job. she asked me to meet. when we met after few minutes of our talking she hugged me suddenly gave me a kiss. after this in our chat she mentioned to make sex with me. I refused her in good way and talked about importance of relations. though she got hurt she went away by wishing me.

i told these to a friend believing he will not share to others. but he shared to others that i made sex with her. after this one night my friends including the senior after drunk came to room and made arguments and made fight. they said to all batch i was simply a guy pretending good and had behaviours like this. my batchmates also avoided me without asking for any proof. I became totally alone. i had most night sleepless.

a year has passed like this. in next year i became a student leader, so again my classmate started talking to me and that senior created similar issue to other guy so my friends even knew him. but i don't have close friends i simply smile at everyone. i engaged with gym workouts and prayers.

about end of third year a chinese girl messaged me asking to meet for a help. she was totally crazy about my country due to traditions and movies. her parents got divorced at her 13 and she grew up having craziness to my country. she got attached to foreigners. she had about 11 relations, all of them used her and went away. i met her and became good friends. also she had some mental instability after an accident about three months of my meet. I used to spent time with her everyday and cooked for her dishes.

whenever we met she speak emotionally and asked me to take relation with her. i didn't refused her. but behind me she used to talk other foreigners in phone. most of them approached her some use only.

i have feelings for this chinese girl but i don't know this relation has a future or not.

- Rishad


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6 Responses »

  1. Concentrate on your studies. No man needs a Crazy Girlfriend. It is more trouble than you can imagine. Although you might have feelings for the Chinese Girl, you can't fix her issues. And I am sure you will always have problems knowing she was with many other men before you. Somehow men do this but don't want a woman who has done the same. And Quran states that 'honorable men for honorable women" is best. In plain language, save yourself. Medical school is rigorous and demanding. Limit the social activities and perhaps write your parents and tell them you want a wife so you will not be so alone and possibly get into trouble.

  2. From this very long and irrelevant story you posted trying to first justify your character, It seems that

    1. You too have mental issues, not just the girl.
    2. Your friends might have been right about you and your character.
    3. Trust me you will not be her 12th and final relation. Because in the end, you will use her too because in your mind you will always think that you were her 12th one and for some reason guys cannot get over this issue.

    Concentrate on your studies, finish your studies and go back to Pakistan. Your family has high hopes from you. Think about your parents.

    • Salam CR,

      seems like you know him personally. he never mentioned his country, but you said him to go back to Pakistan. strange.
      If you know him, please at least leave him alone here .. let he gets the advice from others ... you are rude to him ..I'm sorry to say this

      When I get back to Rashid, I am in China as well. I understand your situation, what you said is all true because it happens all over China (in the universities). I will say one thing "DON'T GET INFLUENCED BY OTHERS- LIVE YOUR LIFE"

      second, from my experience, girls and boys can't be friends so tell her to stop contacting you. Plus, she is just acting to get your attention.
      Third, your feeling is not real, it is just a pity so before too late save yourself. "WHEN A MAN & WOMAN ARE TOGETHER ALONE, THEIR THIRD IS SHAITAN" said Resul(saw) - so be careful


      Allahu A'elem
      Good luck

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