Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Relatives taunting me for not getting married

Scolding relatives

Scolding relatives

Assalam O Alaikum,

I am a 24 year old Pakistani girl. I got a proposal from a person who works at Bank. I rejected that proposal because of his job as well as his physical appearance because a/c to me bank earnings are haram as most of the fatwas says.

After that proposal, my mother used to say that I shouldn't have rejected that proposal because nowadays it's harder to get married on time. I'm so tortured by my relatives too because of not getting proposals.

I have put my trust in Allah that in shaa Allah He'll give me the right partner at the very right time. Personally I'm not worried at all but my mother is really very worried. She is worried if I do not get married.

Now I feel like I should have accepted that proposal from the banker.

What should I do about taunting comments of my mother and relatives? They make my imaan level low. Kindly guide me please.

-Sam

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3 Responses »

  1. You want power true power.Then obey Allah's orders and love the quran...the quran has to many virtues to list... but for starters read daily morning and evening at least. ..the quran will keep SHAITAN away...it will give you peace of mind noor intelligence Barakah and put fear into the hearts of man because of the connection with Allah....so why worry its just words.these are the ways SHAITAN work . Like I say before A EVIL MAN'S BRAIN IS A DEVILS WORKSHOP!

  2. Salam.

    Sister, I'm in a similar position as you are. I'm a 23 year old male and my parents have been pushing for me to get married. However, I have not obeyed them in this regard because the people they wanted me to marry were not compatible with me. As a result, they keep on telling me that I won't find anyone else and that I should choose one of their options. However, I have a firm conviction that Allah(SWT) will provide me with a spouse in the future and that helps in ignoring the taunts. Strengthen your faith in Allah(SWT) and inshAllah, you will find reward in that. You made a good choice by not marrying a banker since his income would be from riba-based transactions which are haram. You did the right thing and Allah(SWT) will reward you.

    Salam.

  3. As-salamualaikum dear sis,

    Never underestimate the power of dua and istaghfar. If you keep yourself clean and pure then you deserve a clean and pure boy, as Allah stated in surah Noor (I believe verse 26? May Allah forgive me if I'm wrong). Regardeless, marriage is something no one should rush into if they do not have the maturity and iman. The only time marriage is mandatory, from my understanding, is when you fear for yourself that you are going astray (as in your sexual desire is uncontrollable). Then Insha'Allah if you make sincere dua and with the right intention He will show you the way.

    I just saw a lecture from Mufti Menk that discussed the importance of saying astagfirullah... Prophet Musa pbuh was saying astagfirullah so much when Allah made it easy for him to meet his potential spouse (remember the old man with two daughters whome Musa was given permission to marry one on certain conditions?). Point being, istaghfar and dhikr can only do good;)

    Lastly, if you must and want to, why not ask people who knows eligible bachelor's with respectible characters? Go to your local mosque and ask someone you trust if they can keep an eye (within halal limits) out for good boys. In Islam females can also propose you know;)
    The prefect example is Khadidja (may Allah be pleased with her)...aka Muhammad's (salalahualiahiwasalaam) first wife. She proposed to him.

    Ultimately, Allahu aalim...He knows best for your khair. Have sincere tawakul sis...everything will work out Insha'Allah.

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