Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Remarrying my ex-wife?

law fiqh marriage divorce

Hi, I married a convert but after 4 years I gave her irrevocable divorce, after divorce she left islam also and we lost contact. Recently I had contact with her and I found out that she became muslim again recently, we want to get married again. Can I remarry her?

ABQ

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13 Responses »

  1. Marriage is not a joke or a game stop playin with peoples lifes !! And stop wastin the imams time

    • This kind of response is not helpful. You don't know enough about this brother's circumstances to say that he is "playin with peoples lifes". Don't make unkind judgments when you don't know.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. What's an irrevocable divorce mean to you? Here are the rules:
    http://legacy.quran.com/2/228-230

    My view on this may be different from others so perhaps its best to ask a scholar about this. My view is that in order to divorce someone you must first be married to them. Otherwise, you could walk up to any girl and tell her you divorce her three times and that would be it. You couldn't even marry her once because you pronounced divorce 3 times.

    Another example, say your wife was hard of hearing. You pronounced divorce once but she couldn't hear it. You then pronounced it five more times before she heard it once. Your kids were there though and they heard it six times. Are you then divorced once from her or are you divorced six times and can never marry her again?

    So based on that I would say if you went from being married, to being divorced, to being married, to being divorced then you have one last marriage and divorce left before she needs to marry someone else and divorce them before getting back to you.

    But again, find a good scholar that makes sense and ask him. Ask him my questions too and see what the answers are there. Good luck.

    • prophet s.a.w says 2 things that if we get hold of them then we will be successful on the dsy judgement 1)YOUR TONGUE2)YOUR PRIVATES!Bro. to express ur opion is dangerous and to give advice that is guess work to someone else.Now you know why the muslims in the world are weak.

      • What?? In the infamous words of Pauline Hanson "please explain?". And then the immortal words of ice cube "you need Jesus in your life"

        • He means to moderate our language (say only what is good) and to be chaste.

          And we already have Jesus (peace be upon him) in our lives, thank you. You need Muhammad (sws) in your life.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Salam Raul,

        Thanks for looking out for me. I had considered not writing in since I'm not the majority opinion but in the end I figured I should. This way if there are differing views then perhaps people will bring their evidence and I can get a better understanding.

        I'm pretty solid on my information because it's based on the Quran, it just bothers me that my opinion isn't the majority opinion. I feel that others should have come to the same conclusion and I don't understand why they have not.

  3. Dear ABQ:

    It is not against the law of Islam if you remarry her.

  4. Salam Raheela,

    So I think this section covers the part about marrying another guy:
    http://legacy.quran.com/2/230:
    And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband. Then, if the other husband divorces her, it is no sin on both of them that they reunite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. These are the limits of Allah, which He makes plain for the people who have knowledge.

    I don't see the intimacy requirement there so I don't think she necessarily has to do that. If you have a source for the intimacy, I'd like to see it so I can update my knowledge and tell people the same. Thanks.

  5. I don't know why people are being so harsh and unkind to this questioner. It is not warranted.

    To the questioner, brother why do you think your divorce was irrevocable? It would not have been irrevocable unless it was the third time you divorced her.

    If it was not the third time, then the answer is yes, you can remarry her. And Insha'Allah the two of you will enjoy more patience and success the second time around.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Salam Wael,

      This may be the reason why the poster, and other advisers feel it's an irrevocable divorce. But the way things are, one has to pronounce divorce to his wife, lawyer, and judge, and multiple people present so I feel one would inevitably pass 3 pronunciations. But people do believe that saying it three times makes it irrevocable:

      I got this from here, double quotes are mine:
      http://islamhelpline.net/answer/7366
      "...
      Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3292 Narrated by Mahmud ibn Labid

      When Allah's Messenger (saws) was informed about a man who had divorced his wife, declaring it three times without any interval between them, he (saws) arose in anger and said, "Is a mockery being made of the Book of Allah Who is Great and Glorious, while I am amongst you?" As a result a companion got up and asked, "O Messenger of Allah (saws) shall I kill him?"

      The absolute majority of the scholars are of the opinion that if one pronounces three divorces to ones wife at one time, they will count as three and an irrevocable divorce will be established. That was the ruling of even the noble companions of the Messenger of Allah (saws) of the stature of Hadrat Abdullah ibn Abbas (r.a.) and of Hadrat Abu Hurayrah (r.a.), etc.

      Al-Muwatta Hadith 29.37

      Yahya related from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Muhammad ibn Abd ar-Rahman ibn Thawban that Muhammad ibn Iyas ibn al-Bukayr said, "A man divorced his wife three times before he had consummated the marriage, and then it seemed good to him to marry her. Therefore, he wanted an opinion, and I went with him to ask Abdullah ibn Abbas and Abu Hurayra on his behalf about it, and they said, 'We do not think that he should marry her until she has married another husband.'
      ... "

  6. Salam brother,
    Both of you seem quite confused. I don't see anything wrong in remarrying her, but you need to check things with an imam to see if that's islamically possible. If you are able to re- marry I think both of you need to think long and hard about why you divorced in the first place and whether you would be compatible now. Marriage and divorce are not a joke, and shouldn't be taken lightly.

    Also, why did your ex leave Islam and why has she reverted again. I wouldn't marry anyone who was confused about their faith - perhaps the both of you need to strengthen your faith before re-marriage. Don't forget to do istikhara.

    I pray Allah swt guides you to what is best for both you and your ex, Ameen

  7. dear brother,

    Allah knows the best,
    i will tell from my small knowledge,you can cross check with imams

    U can re-marry ur divorced ex wife,

    only if she got married to some body else and got full divorce from the second husband.

    may be this condition is included to avoid divorce on instantaneous problems between loving husband and wife.

    If your ex wife is not married and divorced again after your divorce you cannot directly re marry her.

    In my knowledge for overcoming such situation people will arrange a marriage with some body and he divorces her in next day or some time. This is the practical method for you and ex wife.Find some body who is ready to marry her and divorce her.

    In this method have some issues such as you have check with some imams for the validity of the temporary marriage.I think pre-decided time period in marriage and marriage intended for divorce are not desirable things in Islam.
    And another thing is that If the second husband wishes intimacy with her,then she will be forced (even if u and the lady not like )to satisfy him because she is legal for him before the divorce.

    best of luck

    aim

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