Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He Says: Remove the Hijab or I’ll divorce you

i became muslim 3 years ago. now i wanted use hijab. im new with using my hijab. i do more then one month. but my husband (he is muslim from born) he is not happy about that. he told me i have to take off or he will devorce with me. we have nearly everyday arguments about that. what can i do? i wanna keep that family. is it wrong to really take it off then he will get better?

many thanks

~ jajazvonek

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9 Responses »

  1. Alhamdolillah sister.
    Allah has guided u, but its so sad that most born muslims choose to wander in the dark. Wearing hijab is mandatory and if he is forcing u to take it off then he is forcing u to displease Allah. My dear sister glam up urself at home for him, show him that ur beauty is just for him, if he is sensible he will understand how lucky he is. A pious wife who guards herself against fitna (when every woman , even the average looking ones can easily manage to look super glamorous) in these times is so hard to find. Watch short islamic lectures in front of him, if Allah wills he will b guided through them. Pray for him and then Leave the rest to Allah. He will either change or (painfully for u) part ways, in either case u will win. In the first scenario u will manage to help a lost soul in the second one, u will get closer to ur creator by proving to Him how much His command matters to u. He has a better plan for u in either case. This is that 1 who never betrays.

    Do not give up ur hijab sister. Stand strong for ur faith.

    Its a suggestion to those reverts who might read my comment. This is for the sisters specially. Please marry a practicing, God fearing man. Do not just assume that a born muslim is a muslim. A large number of people of hell will b the hyppocrites. Marry some1 who will help u to strenghten ur faith and guide u
    further NOT become an impediment in ur path to jannah. Marry either a revert as u can understand
    eachother better while u take the same journey or marry a pious momin who wont marry u for ur external beauty and guide u better. Ur half deen should help u to complete ur other half as well.

  2. -do not take off your hijab as it is fardh.

    -try everything to make your husband understand and influence him nicely to become religious

    -but NEVER EVER leave your deen especially the fardh parts of it for any human being. There is no obedience to the creation with disobedience to the Creator.

    • Subhanallah! The following is enough as an answer to the OP's concern:

      There is no obedience to the creation with disobedience to the Creator.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

      • salamo alikum. could u help me to delete my profile please, specialy this my add? i really need it coz of serios reason please. eshallah u can help me.

  3. sallam alaikum
    if your husband wants you to put off the hijab it's ok but when u a only two u and your husband even without kids 'when you a going out of your private room then u have to wear your hijab again but if he refuses you and he wants you to put it off in public then do not agree and if it means divoce then accept the divoce and go on with your life Allah will give you a better man than her because you are on a right path

  4. @jajazvonek

    You sound like a great woman to me; you are showing commitment for the right path by being a practicing Muslim. God bless you.

    Your story is a sad one; you want to guard your chastity and your husband wants to prevent you from this. It sounds like your husband is not a practicing Muslim. I understand that you intend to save your marriage which is a very good thing.

    As per ISLAM, women should do purdah in the public but not necessarily in their HOMES (if married and living in a household in which other young male relatives are not living). Muslim women can "beautify" themselves for their husbands in their HOMES.

    Inform your husband that you are AVAILABLE for him and will BEAUTIFY yourself for him only but in PRIVACY. However, make it clear to him that you will practice purdah in the PUBLIC because you are a practicing Muslim and Islam forbids women from objectifying themselves for PUBLIC / PEOPLE for whom they are forbidden.

    If you live in a house in which only you and your husband live; then you can choose to not observe purdah in your home. However, if you live in a joint family system and your husband have brothers who also live in the same home then you may observe purdah outside your bedroom. Your "freedom in respect to your purdah" entirely depends upon the situation in your home.

    I hope that your husband will understand your position in this regard and perhaps his conscience might awaken in the process. If he still fails to understand your position after this step, then this marriage is not worth saving.

    I hope that things work out well for you. You may discuss this matter with your and your husband's parents as well and seek their help. If all your efforts are in vain then WALK OUT from this marriage for your own good. Pray to Allah Almighty to make your commitment to right path much easier.

    Give us an update as well, if you feel like it.

  5. I am a 15 year old girl, and when I was only in grade 2, I decided to stop wearing the hijab.

    No one stopped me. No one said anything.

    Now, whenever I look at women on the streets wearing the hijab...I get tears in my eyes from their beauty and confidence.

    They are all so strong...So..amazing. Nothing stops them from taking it off, and the amount of respect they get, is great.

    Dear sister, please...Do not let anyone get in the way of you and Allah. Do not let your husband try to shred you from the beauty and light the Hijab has given you.

    If he threatens divorce, why stay with him? Why try to make him happy? And if explaining to him how important Hijab is to you, doesn't work, then leave it to Allah to deal with it.

    You are a beautiful woman. Do not let anyone take the beauty Allah has given you, away. Ever.

    Weall love you so much, and Insha Allah, you will be kept in my prayers.

  6. please brothers/sisters i need help with a question as i dont no to post a question on here i have tryed but it not send please help me inshallah

  7. Walaykumusalaam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu dear sister,

    As you know this life is a test, and insha'Allah if you pass this test and show Allah Ta'ala your trust in Him and how you are trying and striving to please Him Ta'ala, your ranks will be raised in Jannah.. and Allah Ta'ala will increase you in goodness and guidance insha’Allah.

    He Alone Ta’ala can rectify your affairs and situation. Disobeying Allah Ta’ala won’t improve the situation at all – it will actually be a dangerous step with respect to the Hereafter and have negative consequences in this life too. What benefit can your husband do for you on the Day of Judgment?

    Allah Ta'ala knows your situation, He Ta'ala knows what you are feeling and wanting in your heart, He Ta'ala knows your desire to obey Him Ta'ala.. Allah is the Protector and Helper of the believers...Believe that if you strive to obey Him and please Him regardless of others’ opposition, Allah Ta'ala will protect you and help you

    As part of a longer hadith:
    "...And he who pleases Allah, although by it he displeased people, Allah is pleased with him, and also those people whom he had displeased for pleasing Allah become pleased with him. Allah makes him splendid and his speech and acts in the eyes of others beautiful.” [Tabarani] ..subhan Allah!

    I heard a story of a sister who put on hijab and her mum used to hit her for it .. 2 years later, her mum one day asked this sister to teach her how to pray! Allah Ta'ala can change the hearts in an instant

    But if your husband does divorce you sister, and just because you want to obey Allah Ta’ala, then know that the reward with Allah Ta’ala will be HUGE in Jannah insha’Allah and He Ta’ala can provide you with a much BETTER husband family in this dunya. When the husband of Umm Salamah (may Allah pleased with her) died, she thought who could be better than Abu Salamah but then she was patient and ALLAH blessed her to marry the Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam)! If you lose this family because you want to obey Allah Ta’ala, know that Allah Ta’ala will grant you better.

    We should remember that things in this dunya will pass - shouting, threats, blackmail, insults, etc. Allah can put courage and strength and steadfastness in your heart to keep going insha'Allah..Allah Ta'ala can grant you peace in your heart, put sweetness in the struggle, and reward you greatly. Ibrahim ('alayhi salaam) was thrown in a fire but it was made peaceful/cool for him - Allah Ta'ala can make calamities and difficulties easy by sending tranquillity into the heart of the believer.

    La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah

    dear sis, keep this blessing of Islam, keep on hijab, and remember that Allah Ta'ala can help you with a way out from where you never imagined and reward you greatly. May Allah bless you, help you and rectify your affairs

    du'a for anxiety:
    for distress:

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