Should I repeat the Istaikhaarah as the Dream I had was after Fajr?
Istikhaarah and Dreams
I have an office colleague who proposed me few months back and then send his parents to my home. Now its been 3-4 months his parents didn't show any response. meantime i was and still in touch with him. According to him his mother wants to explore for more girls and he do not want to convince her in any offensive way and he is trying his level best to convince her.
After that I didnt ask him again about her mother's thought and he didnt tell me either.Now I think he wont take any stand , or it might be too late as my parents want me to get married as soon as possible. Both of our families dont know that we are in contact with each other.
Now i am too much confused as to whether I should trust on him and carry on with this relationship.My other reservation is that I dont want to get on with this unofficially, i only accepted this proposal as he send his parents quite early in this stage.
To overcome that I had an istakhara last night. When I went for sleep after dua, I couldnt sleep for an hour atleast and had a random thoughts like cricket match, office work etc. When I woke up in fajar I dont have any feeling. After fajar I slept within few minutes and then I saw a dream
I was sitting on a bench on a footpath with him in some foreign country (I suppose) it was winter. my cousin was standing right beside me. HE( the guy) asked me to handover some papers to him and he then signed him. everybody was watching us and my cousin was asking me to be quick.
It was not nikah nama, but some sort of commitment document. Later I was discussing with him regarding some job offer and he said " Car is not an issue I already have old one, we can manage" During this time, I felt myself inclining towards his jacket and suddenly I stayed away (I didnt like the feeling of physical contact in that dream)
Later , I came back to my home. There were many people standing outside, all guys. When I asked , they said we are his friends and jokingly they said we want to pull his leg y he didnt tell about u and him to us. I called him and tell the same.
During dream, I had a relaxed feeling. Something as if theres nothing to worry.
I would like to tell you a bit about my views. I m very pessimistic from start. I could harldy imagine that things will go in my favour. couple of months ago I also saw few dreams which scared me more, in one i saw him geting married with someone else and saying me 'see i made you fool' in another i saw him in a railway station and he was getting away from me, i was chasing him. later he came.
Kindly tell me do i need to do istakhara again so that i will be more comfortable. I still thinks that since i saw that dream after fajar it might not be applicable to this situation.
Kind Regards
~ Castling
8 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Salaams,
Having a result from istikhara is still valid whether it happens before or after fajr. There is no "time limit" on Allah's guidance.
You can make another istikhara if you wish, but to me the issue is pretty clear: you are having conversations with a non-mahram and neither his parents nor yours know about it. That is a sin. If you want guidance as to what to do, the best thing you can do to clear your view is to stop engaging in this sinful relationship. How can you expect Allah to show you what He wills for you going forward, if you are not submitting to him right now?
I also suggest that you read our articles on the main page about istikhara. I think that may also help to clear up some of your questions.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sister
Sister Amy has addressed the Istikara issue, I just want to add one point on another part of your post.
You said:
I think he should be a man and stand up to his mother if he feels you are the right woman for him. This may be an indication that he is not sure you are. This is a warning sign. Allah gave you the ability to reason, so consider this and what it means. Do not over think it, but consider it thoughtfully.
As Sister Amy has said, your communications are haraam. I suggest you have another meeting with him with a proper chaperone, and get to the bottom of things. Ask him in a non-threatening and non-hostile manner if he needs any more information about you, and gather any questions you have and ask them of him. You should ask each other enough to make a final decision or set up another meeting shortly thereafter.
After this meeting, make your decision on how to proceed. If you both wish to marry, then pray another Iskithara to confirm, and then proceed with plans to marry soon. If either of you have doubts, then move on. Be decisive. If you do not move on, your emotional attachment may grow, and this could lead to a lot of pain in the future,
AmericanMuslim
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam,
I agree with the above advice. Get things out in the open, secret relationships are not Islamically correct. Also be aware that dreams can be influenced very much by your feelings and inclinations. So having a dream you marry this person may not necessarily mean that he is right for you because ultimately he is on your mind! You are thinking about him etc. And likewise a bad dream does not necessarily mean he is bad for you, as it could occur from deep seated anxiety.
What Istikhaarah is is placing your trust in Allah (swt) that He (swt) knows what is best for you and He (Swt) will guide you towards the best course of action and make the best route easy for you and make the bad route difficult. You need to try as much as you can to remain neutral. Seperate yourself from this guy in the meantime, do istikhaarah and take it from there.
I also think it's very worrying that he is continuing a relationship with you whilst pursuing other girls for marriage. I would not take this as a good sign of character personally - Allah has given us intellect so we need to use it!!
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu allykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh!
I also agree with the above advises i would like to give you some dua' and add some for you.its said in a some site i read:
After Istikhara praise Allah s.w.t,His Greatness and plead;
"Allahumma innaka taqdiru wa la aqdir, wa ta'lamu wal a'lamu,wa anta a'alamu ma fil ghaibi fin ra'ayta anna [fullanan] khairun li fi dini wa duniya,wa akhirati fa qadir hu li,wa in kana ghairu hu khairun min hu li fi dini wa akhirati fa qadirhu li".
Translation:
" "
You can also recite the following dua:
"Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi ilmika wa astaqdiruka,biqudratika wa as'aluka min fadlikal-azimi,fa innaka taqdiru wala' aqdiru wa ta'lamu wala a'lamu wa anta allamul ghuyubi.
Allahumma in kunta ta'lamu anna hadhal amra khayrun li fi dini wa ma-ashi wa aqibati amri faqdir-hu li wa yassir-hu li thumma bariki li fihi wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadhal amra shari-un li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa aqibati amri fasrifhu anni wasrifni anhu waqdir liya-khayra haythu kana thumma ar-dini bihi"
Translation:
"
When one reaches the words
"an hadha amra"
which means
"this matter"
One should think about the matter that is seeking blessing for. After that,one should lie down in a state of purity,on a clean bed,with his/her face towards the Qiblah.
Whatever comes firmly to his /her mind on waking is the best cause of action and should be adopted.
If nothing comes to one's mind on the first day and the anxiety and indecisiveness continues,one should repeat it the next day and so on,for a week.By the grace of Allah s.w.t. he will come to know the good or evil of the matter.
Note:
if your dream is white,green i.e any light colour,then the matter is good.and if its black or red then the matter is not good for you.
It is not necessary that the person see a dream relating to his matters.
May Allah make it easy for you inshaAllah amin!....
Be patient remember Allah s.w.t is always with you and everywhere!:-)
u dont need to sleep after doing istikhara, istikhara is asking Allaah for guidance, u can do the naafil for istikhara at any time during the times that naafil are permissible to be perfomed, like even at zuhr time. u do not need to see a dream either, its just about asking Allaah for guidance to what is best for them. there is a lot of info available on islamqa website related to istikhara
u dont need to sleep after doing istikhara, istikhara is asking Allaah for guidance, u can do the naafil prayer for istikhara at any time during the times that naafil are permissible to be perfomed, like even at zuhr time. u do not need to see a dream either, its just about asking Allaah for guidance to what is best for them. there is a lot of info available on islamqa website related to istikhara
what if on one day one sees green dupatta and a pure white room and a black dupatta but rejected to take that black dupatta. And next day saw a blood and black color but in red and black colour there is a presence of white color and solutions to make it white.and third day saw a green grass and heard a voice of someone saying "BEHTRI"
now what does it mean ?
is this a positve sign ?
Assalaamualaikam
Please read the articles and advice available on this site. Istikhara is not dependent upon dreams.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor