I sincerely want to change myself and become a better Muslim
In a Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), a comparison is given of the believer and the unbeliever who commits a sin. For the believer, the sin towers over him like a tall building ready to collapse; whereas, for the unbeliever, the sin is like a fly that he slaps away but it keeps coming back. For the believer, the sin committed may not be a grave sin, but he ponders over the crime day and night, regretting it. For the unbeliever, it does not matter whether the sin committed was grave or not, because the sinner does not care of the consequences.
Assalam o Alaikum brothers and sisters
I need help I seriously want to become a good muslim but at the same time I couldn't. I seriously want to get rid of my bad habits and casual behaviour (when it comes to islam). I sometimes try very hard to change my casual attitude and try to do jihad bin nafs but after a month or so I again fail and went back to my seriously bad habits.
I just want to change, I just want to become a good muslim. I pray five times a day but most of the time I am just speaking the words ataghfirullah and not concentrating on them. I am mostly so distracted in other thoughts that I forgot if I have read ataheyat after two 2 rakats ( how can such a prayer be accepted? ... I do alot of duas asking for so many things from Allah, not thinking of the quality of my salah ).
The posts on your website compelled me to write. People are so much worried about their sins about their way of life. Whereas I mostly live a carefree life and have such a casual attitude. I seriously want to change myself I want to become a good muslim. Please tel me how do I start and how do I stick to my new life style .As I have told earlier I went back to my casual attitude after a month. But this time I want to change myself completely and not turning back.
moazkh60.
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walaikum asaalam what type of bad habits maybe i can help u control your habits just explain little more and when it comes to prayer your suppose to concentrate on prayer not on other thoughts. if u forgot that u did not do athiyatu or not sure i recommened praying again just concentrate on prayer it happens to alot of people salam.
Walaikum assalam and hello.
I'd really like to share my experience and opinions with you.
I want to be a good muslim too, and I've got couple of things figured out, but at the same time I can't! Sometimes I can't put those 'plans I've made to become a better Muslim' into action.
Let me to go straight to the 'procedures' you can follow:
1. Get a notepad.
2. Write with RED INK ' THE BETTER MUSLIM BOOK'
3. Write down today's date.
4. Under that date, you'll manage some aims.
Let me give you one example of an 'aim'.
My first aim: My first aim was to learn the 99Names of Allah. 1week- 10 names. But I am ashamed to say, I haven't completed. I mean I learnt upto 20, but then I couldn't continue for some reason AND now I remember again, I need to get back to learning those Names!
5. USE A RED PEN, to mark the date WHEN YOU LEFT YOUR ACTIVITY and THE REASON FOR IT. - I am telling you this, because you keep getting distracted (JUST LIKE ME).
At this point, I'd like to comment on some of your following statements:
You wrote:
I seriously want to get rid of my bad habits and casual behaviour (when it comes to islam).
As I have told earlier I went back to my casual attitude after a month. But this time I want to change myself completely and not turning back.
When you fall down, YOU NEED TO BOUNCE BACK UP. That is the one thing you need to maintain. Let me tell you what's the positive that reflects in this question- it's your concern. It's that you care. You know you want something- you want to be a better muslim. And you tried. But you fail. AND you are aware.
You know that saying right- knowing your enemy is half winning the battle? You know your enemy here, and you are very aware; so think that you 'half won the battle'- to be a good muslim. All you need to do is win the other half. BOUNCE BACK UP.
How do you BBU (bounce back up?)- Check where you left in your 'aim' -check the date and check the reason. And start from where you left off (like I'll start again from the 21st Name).
One thing you can do is maintain an 'attendance' for your aim. Make the attendance like this. On the left side write 'activity' ( see activity example below)- this makes one column. and then following columns give dates eg. 21/6/13. So whenever you do one activity give a small tick in the respective box in the 'respective box' of your 'attendance sheet'. (Note: You can do this in THE BETTER MUSLIM BOOK as well, no need extra sheet).
Give 1hour yourself everyday- to learn a new dua/ a new fact about our loved Prophet Muhammed (pbuh)/ read the Quran/ take care of your mother/ recite Durood Shareef/ learn the names of Allah/ pray Nafl namaj. SO many things you can do with 1 hour each day. Switch between these activities. It will be more interesting!
You also wrote:
I sometimes try very hard to change my casual attitude and try to do jihad bin nafs but after a month or so I again fail and went back to my seriously bad habits.
Again, BBU- Bounce Back Up. If you fail, and the moment you realize it BOUNCE BACK UP. Don't delay. You know when I fail, I do this. I take a take 'gusl' (ie. shower) and then I pray 2rakat nafl namaj and with full concentration say 'Al-Muhaimin' 100 times. It is said (may Allah Forgive me and forgive me if this is wrong information, I myself read it in the internet) Allah cleans the person, externally and internally, who does this act- take gusl, pray and speak His name (Al-Muhaimin) 100 times WITH FULL CONCENTRATION. This is like my 'restart button'.
Please tell me how do I start and how do I stick to my new life style. - I'm telling you all my ways BUT it is totally upto you to 'stick' to your new lifestyle. It's not easy, we both know. BUT WE HAVE TO TRY UNTIL OUR LAST BREATHE. That is what counts. Don't give up. Don't feel upset- I think it's okay to feel a bit upset but it's more important to not let it discourage you. You need to, yes, Bounce Back Up.
I just want to change, I just want to become a good muslim. I pray five times a day but most of the time I am just speaking the words ataghfirullah and not concentrating on them. I am mostly so distracted in other thoughts that I forgot if I have read ataheyat after two 2 rakats ( how can such a prayer be accepted? ... I do alot of duas asking for so many things from Allah, not thinking of the quality of my salah ).
^ This paragraph. SO ME (not very proud to say).
Here's the thing. WHENVER YOU FEEL YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION, START PAYING ATTENTION. Even if it's a 4rakat namaj and you are alreayd in your 4th, and you are in ruku and you realize you are not attentive enough- FREEZE every other thought and pay attention to what you are doing.
One thing you can do is, before you begin your prayer, take a deep breathe, close your eyes and tell yourself- I'm going to forget everything at the moment, everything that may distract me by making me excited or upset or stressed out. That's because I',m gonna stand and pray to Allah and He is the One who gives me my happiness and takes away my sorrow and relieves me whenever I feel like I'm doomed" - this is what I remined myself;
I'd like to point it out that in Shezda, you are the closest to Allah- so give your whole, complete attention there.
I do alot of duas asking for so many things from Allah, not thinking of the quality of my salah - I read it in some place that Allah loves it when His slaves ask to him for things (not bad things ofcourse!). So pray, pray, pray, pray, PRAY YOUR HEART OUT. What do you ask Allah for?
Do you know what I ask Allah often? To increase my imaan, to take away what's weak in me and make me stronger in that particular character, to help me increase concentration in my namaj, to help me find pleasure in doing such things that take me closer to Him, I ask for His forgiveness, His mercy, His protection and His love. Do you ask for these things? If not, try it.
Allah will never get tired of listening to your prayers. You know whenever I need something, I ask Allah and I try to give him reason why I need it and everything. You know that Allah knows what's in your heart right? But Allah still wants you to pray, pray and ask for it.
I hope these soothes your mind a bit.
Just try hard okay. One day you'll not fail. One day you'll become stronger.
That's all I got.
I'm not sure how either of us will change after the writing/reading of this post, but one thing I'm sure about is that, neither of can us can give up.
Best of luck and may Allah help us all to become better Muslims. Ameen.
Ma sha Allah, good points. May Allah Enable you and me too, to BBU whenever we fall.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thanks so ,much, your response helped me decide how I can become a better Muslim. I tried so many times before but I kept getting distracted like u said but now I hope I can become strong enough to avoid the distractions. Inshallah.
Assalamu'alaikum,
Brother you asked where to begin. Begin with a Niyyah, and you already have that...It takes determination and courage to defeat the Shaitan. It takes self belief and trust in Allah to succeed in Jihad bin Nafs.
You said you control for a month and then lapse. If you can control for a month, you can control for longer. And if you can control for longer, you can control for life.
One motivator is learning the result of the sin in Islam. This depends on what the sin is.
The most effective methodology to do the above is by gaining knowledge. Learn Islam, learn Aqeedah, learn who Allah Is, who His Messenger is, learn what the Quran is and what Allah Says in it, learn the Sunnah and apply your knowledge in your daily life.
If you know Urdu, the best place to begin is the website for Shaikh Dr. Murtaza Baksh. His duroos are full of knowledge and they take the Imaan to a high level. They help in building your taqwa and also in the process of gaining knowledge in order to convert it into action. The website is https://ashabulhadith.com
You can also check his videos on youtube.
If you do not know Urdu, the duroos of Shaikh Dr. Saleh as Saleh in English will do, in sha Allah. You can go to the following website and read the articles or listen to the audio: http://understand-islam.net You can also visit http://abdurrahman.org for some useful material.
In sha Allah, begin here and make a daily schedule where you would give at least 15 minutes to 30 minutes for learning the deen. MAKE A SCHEDULE, because this will ensure you do not miss a day, in sha Allah.
Additionally, whenever you are tempted to do the sin again, remind yourself about the Aakhirah, the standing before your Lord in His Court. Remind yourself of Allah's Questions when He Will Ask you: how did you spend your youth? Remind yourself of His Questions: did you commit this sin? And remind yourself of the most dangerous questions, if one is asked, he may be doomed: why did you do this sin?
Remind yourself of the Hell fire, which is 70 times as intense as the fire if this world, and is waiting for the disobedient servants of Allah to burn them again and again, such that once their skin is burnt, they will be given a new skin which will be burnt again, and this will continue. Their food is the poisonous fruit called Zaqqoom and their drink is boiling water. They will also be punished by pouring boiling water on their heads. Just remind yourself of this again and again and seek refuge in Allah from such an evil ending.
On the other hand, there is total pleasure is Allah's Mercy, His Paradise...Streets of gold, rivers of milk, honey and wine, beautiful palaces, fruits of various kinds, wives from Hoorun 'Een so beautiful that her beauty is unimaginable, and the most valuable and dearest reward - looking at the Face of your Creator, Jalla Jalaaluh. You worshipped Him and obeyed Him while you did not see Him, what better Reward than the Sight at His Face?
Brother, bring this motivation to your life and believe that one day you will end up in either of the two destinations, hoping that Allah Will Save you from the Fire and fearing that He Won't include you among the inheritors of Jannah, and may He Have Mercy on you.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I am a muslims ...Plz tell me where to begin?
I was memorizing Quran a couple of months ago and aftr 10 juzz I left it:(
Many more islamic studies I was doing but one by one i am deprieved of it.
I am a mother of 6yr old.
I want to strt afresh in sha Allah..enough of heedlessness.
Plz tell me the method wat to begin with.. I am serious abt seeking and implementing this advice in sha Allah.
May Allah reward u abundantly.
you guys can delete my first comment my bad but i think he should listen to your guys advice which is very good salam.