Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am a reverted muslim, how do I approach a muslim girl to marry her?

proposal

Salaam alaikum,
I am so much impressed by Islam actually, I understood Islam and I have accepted Islam.

 Basically, I was Hindu and as in Hindu granths itself speaks that Prophet Mohammed is the last Messenger of  God. I believe that and I have accepted Islam in masjid.  

Now my question is this “I have to get married with a Muslim girl but my family is still Hindu” and how will I be ready to marry if I am converted Muslim and I don’t have any Muslim Family?

And Second is “If I will approach someone for marriage and they won’t agree on the ground that I  am convert Muslim and I don’t have Muslim background, can tell me about the seriousness of sin they are committing by not accepting me as Muslim?

Can you please tell me what kind of answer I have to give to tackle this situation for the marriage?

arshali


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17 Responses »

  1. I feel for u akhiy and it happens very frequently in our community.. Reverts are discriminated, there are some cultures that even though u are a born Muslim they cant accept u because of your race..for u to marry u don't need the consent of your family since in Islam a man can marry without a wali but informing them is your duty. Whether they attend or not just inform them..
    Secondly akhiy, broaden your search and don't limit yourself to only this or that type of community.. May Allah make it easy for u

  2. Assalam-Alekum,

    Let me Congratulate you on becoming a muslim. May Allah make this path easy for you and give you strong iman.

    I think as a recent revert/convert I'll focus more about the deen than getting married to a muslim girl. Although there is no difference in a born muslim and a revert muslim. And I think revert muslims are better since they get a clean state free from sins instead of the one with sins on it. But reversion as its own problems. As In Quran Allah says:

    "Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe," without being put to the test?" [29:2]

    As far as asking for a girls hand is concerned, it looks from you question that you are already involved with a muslim girl and you want to ask her hand in marriage. And there is nothing wrong with it. But I think if you focus more on deen right now, learning different things about Islam and how to become a better muslim than it will increase your chances in front of girls parents.

    I am saying this because, in islam, a husband is suppose to be Imam of the family. He should lead his wife and children for a better life in this world and hereafter. This includes different aspects of life. A husband must know the difference between halal/haram 'rizq'. He should be knowledgeable enough so that he can help his wife and children to follow islam in a better way.

    A muslim father of a muslim daughter will always be concerned about her daughter and her children's iman after the marriage and I think for now your best bet is to understand the islam in a better way as there are going to be difficulties in following islam and gaining enough knowledge to lead the wife and children.

    InshaAllah, once you'll become knowledgeable about islam you will automatically know about the second questions answer but I think as a brother I'll suggest you to focus more on following islam before taking next big step of your life i.e. marriage.

    regards,

  3. Salaams Brother

    Firstly welcome to the beautiful religion of Islam. May you always be guided in the right path.

    You are correct, sometimes reverts are discriminated. This is really unfair.Some people just don't understand this. I would suggest that you broaden your search (as fa2mrisho explained). First look for someone who is also a revert. If this isn't working out-then make good muslim male friends and let them know that your'e looking for a spouse. Even if you find someone that is keen on learning about islam and willing to revert, not just for you but from their heart, then why not consider this option?

    Make dua and ask ALLAH to give you a good spouse.

    If in the future you meet someone that is muslim, don't let this thoughts hold you back. You never know what the outcome would be.

    Rumaysa

  4. As-Salam-Alai-Kum brother,

    Firstly, i am very happy for u, Congratulations to u, for u chose the right path and Welcome to Islam..Allah guides whom He wills, n He has choosen u...May Allah(SWT) guide you n help u to be steadfast in ur deen...Aameen..

    For your question, i agree with what the others have said, u should practice Islam more to show that u have accepted Islam with devotion..and when u come across a muslim family for their daughter, if they see u practicing Islam irrespective of the fact tht ur parents are non-believers n that you are believer irrespective of ur circumstances, i dont think there should be any problem for them to approve of u..because a true believing muslim family would know that they should welcome the newcomers in Islam and help them and guide them, and that they should be shown more love and respect..so dont worry, u will not be rejected for your background, Inshallah...

    Now brother(arshali) , i want to ask for your help..i want to know what motivated u to embrace Islam..i mean what exactly striked u and made u feel that this the true religion..and how did u go about it, that is, how did u gather the courage and strength do it without your family's constent (i am assuming that your hindu family opposed your acceptance to Islam) ...actually i have a hindu friend, and i really want him to accept Islam, but never told him to..didnt know how to motivate him for it..i will be very grateful if u get in touch with me and help me to do it..please please pleaseeee help me...i am praying to Allah to do a miracle and give him hidayat to accept Islam... please reply back..hoping for your response ,soon...please..

    Jazaak-Allah-Khair (means, May Allah reward u in return)
    thank u..

    • As-Salam-Alai-Kum Sister,

      Thank you so much for writing in. Well I am ready for any king of help specially if it is related to Islam, Infact I love to do. The main thing which made me to accept Islam is My Passion Of research about the history and religion on the net or books and I was having lots of Muslim friends. I got Know to know while search that'In Islam everything that we follow has got some reason or fact. Not Like blindly we follow' For example When we do halal chicken then all the bacteria which coz the disease will go off....and many more... Then I have reffered the Dr. Zakir Naik's Dvd where he has done analysis of all the holy books of the various religion, So then I got to know that ISLAM is the true religion. There are so many other things which make me believer. I am learning so many thing and gonna be as good as born muslim in term of islamic education and all Insah Allah.

      Jazaak-Allah-Khair
      Thank u...............

  5. Salam, our Brother in Islam
    Congrats on reverting. I have a very good friend from when I was in college who was also a hindu and reverted (he is married to a hindu but is "working" on her to bring her to the fold of Islam) and I know a couple who reverted (they reverted separately in the teens) and were introduced to each other and have been very happily married, mashaalh for about 8-9 years. So, I will tell you what Jeff Lang (the revert who wrote "Losing my religion" and "Even angels ask" told me to do as a practising muslim woman looking for a good muslim husband - he said we are living in the US where muslims are a minority and the ones out there that I have met have not been the kind I want to marry - so he said "leave yourself open to any good guy and if he likes you for who you are and respects you and is interested in marrying you, then tell him that it is important for you as a practising muslim woman that your husband share your faith, and invite him to Islam. You have to be ready to teach and guide that person to Islam"....so I would suggest the same to you - look for qualities in the girl u will want to spend your life with along with religion. It is a HUGE responsibility to invite and then teach someone about Islam, but it also has great rewards with Allah.
    May Allah help you and guide you in your search. Ameen

  6. Aslamualequm to all

    I am a revert muslim since 2005.I would like to ask a question that i have to sent nikah proposal to a muslim family. But elder sister of the girl said that you have no muslim family background. While it is not in Holy Quran any hadith books that a revert must have muslim family to get married in a muslim family. So please suggest me what should i do.

    • Assalam-Alaikum,

      MashaAllah you have been muslim for 6 years and you must be going to some mosque regularly, near your house etc. One good way for you can be to ask the Imam of the Masjid to go out and talk on your behalf. if you know him. Another approach can be any elder who is muslim and who knows you can go out on your behalf with your proposal. This is something from the top of my head, but if you submit your question, others can definitely give you better answer(inshaAllah).

      regards,

    • Asif, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. My short answer to you is that no one should discriminate against someone because he is a convert. It's not right, but it happens. You might remind them that the Sahabah themselves were converts.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. aslamu alaikum i am aslam. before last two and half years i revert to isalm. before that revert i am christian. my name is babu george antony.that time i dont like muslims because simply i understand that islam means terrorism. i tore lot of books tells that "jesus is not a god,he is a messenger of god". but when i had my engineering 2 year one my classmate(hindu girl) wish her birthday wish to me by phone of her friend(muslim girl). i said thanks to her and next next days i had send a forward mess to her. because i have send forward mess to all my friends whose numbers are stored on my mobile. one day she asked about jesus. and i also explain about to him to her but she not impressed. she figured out lot of contradictions in the bible. i cant give a proper answer to her. one day i asked about "Almighty Allah". she explain depend on my knowledge. so i asked my classmate about this he gave me lot debates CD's of Zakir Naik with pasters, scholars, priests, sri sri ravi shankar. after that i relalized that whether islam is the only way to heaven. after that i searched in net and takes lot of documents and had my sunnath in [27.12.2009]. then i realize this girl is turn my path to allah. then i told her that i want marry u with your family support. she tell this to her mother. first her mother not agreed but later she analyse my iman and accept it.

    i want to know thats its a sin?
    நஸயீ 4389 said that its not a sin.

    • Aslam,

      If you are truly Muslim, then you are permissible to this Muslim girl for marriage.

      If you have any further questions, please log in and submit them as a separate post.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. assalamu alaikkum... m naveen .. reverted into islam ... m looking for a reverted muslim girl to marry .. can u help me ?

    • Naveen, speak to your local Imam, talk to your Muslim friends, and try some of the online Muslim matrimonial services.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • As-Salam-Alai-Kum......
      first of all i wana congratulate u for accepting islam..

      i am also reverted muslim girl,,n i have reverted muslim friend circle...my friend is also searching for reverted muslim guy

      u can contact me...may allahpak help u....

  9. Assalamualaikum wa Alaikum Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh..! 

    I hope you people are doing well.! Can anyone help me out for a revert muslim girl for marriage who should have fear of Allah. Who has more interest for learning islam.

    I am from India, 28 years of old, fair 5.8" athletic and have beard. Please reach out to me if someone seriously looking for a life partner. I can be reached at *****.

    • Sorry brother, we don't function as a matchmaking service and do not allow the exchange of private contact info. I wish you the best in your search.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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