Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I saw him only once, now he’s always on my mind

teenage teacher student

Assalam Alaekum,
I'm 19 and in my second year at university. Last week, I attended a meeting for one of the societies I belong to and saw a guy ( that was the first time 5 ever saw him). I've been unable to get him off my mind ever since. I sometimes lose concentration in lectures because of this, and it's really disturbing. Is it normal to feel this way about someone you barely know? How do I get him off my mind? I'm so helpless and I want my normal life back.


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7 Responses »

  1. Wa3aleykoum Salaam Sister,

    Its a crush. InshaAllah you will get over him in time.


  2. Salaams,

    True enough this is a crush, but in my view crushes serve a purpose. You're old enough to start thinking about marriage, so why not take this opportunity to see if you can arrange some meetings with him (with the help of your respective families), to see if you are compatible? Unless you're already married or not interested in marriage at all, feelings like this are just a natural way for us to start looking for a good partner in life.

    -Amy Editor

    • MashaAllah...I agree with you Sister Amy, except that I am not sure whether the guy is a Muslim or not. If he is a Muslim, then I completely agree with the suggestion you gave, so that they could find much about one another (like in the aspect of religious commitment, good character, kindness etc).

      However, if the guy is not a Muslim, then I'd think that what she is feeling towards the guy is from Shaitaan, and that she needs to find a solution to that by returning to Allah and strengthening her iman, lest the feelings lead her to go astray (may Allah forbid this to happen. Ameen!).

      Though, the feelings may also not be from Shaitan, but just natural like you said (feelings like this are just a natural way for us to start looking for a good partner in life.), so she should speak to her family about it, so that they could start discussing about finding a suitable Brother for her to marry, inshaAllah (this is if she is not married yet, as you said).

  3. Dear Sister,
    Exactly, This is your Test by Allaah (Subhanuhu wa ta'allah). Welcome to the Test! This is How Allaah (Subhanuhu wa ta'allah) Test His noblest servants. The Test of your Belief. Now Allaah (Subhanuhu wa ta'allah) Will give you more desires and it is "YOU" who must control them and consume desires in the right direction. This is the peak time to Select between the right path and the wrong path,

    You have Qur'an to Follow and Sunnah to Follow. I am saying that it is normal to have such crushes. But at the same Time Allaah (Subhanuhu wa ta'allah) Test Your Faith and Belief as Well. Keep this in mind.

    Best of luck. Beware of the devil.

    Solution: Busy your self with knowledge of Allaah's Love and That is the only Solution.

    Allaah Knows the Best!

  4. by doing zikr.

    whenever the thought of him comes,do zikr la illaha illAllah.

    you have to take a sincere effort to stop it,if you enjoy thinking of him,your thoughts wont stop,

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