Second marriage to a reverted woman in Islam
How did things get so complicated?
Assallamu Alaikum;
I am 39 years old a reverted Muslim man more than 3 months from now Alhamdullah and i'm working here in Pakistan for almost 9 years, and I am married to a christian wife for the last 17 years and we two beautiful daughters. I used to go for vacation back to my family every 4-6months for two weeks. But lately I have problem with my wife for being such a demanding for more than my budget and that problem start and we rich up to vervally separation, mean our relationship goes to worst. I send her some Islamic message and she reply me they are all same God.
I met a christian woman in my country for less than 2 years now, and we have a haram relationship but I'm still christian that time and she love me so much and I love her too more than my wife and my feelings with my wife is just because of our kids. She just remember to contact me to remind about her budget and school fees and after sent she will never contact me, so I was upset that she can remember me to message if her payment is due. That issue kept again and again for almost 4 years.
Now when I converted to Islam, I told to my GF that I have to stop our relation because it haram in my belief and she accepted. I told her to study about Islam and I send Islamic teaching and she start reading and understanding about islam and she convinced now she is a Muslim too.
But my problem is she want to marry me and she apply her annulment to her husband after revert to Islam but she was already separated only she want to be legally annul to civil law.
She's getting crazy because I try to avoid to communicate with her always but she wants me to response her but I feel it was haram but I love her and I don't want to show at her so that she will never expect much about me but still she's going crazy. Now I don't want that something bad happen to her I'm feeling guilty.
My question is if I will marry her we are allowed?
ARt_muslim0975
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Your so confused brother. Stop using excuses about your first wife to justify cheating on her. Look at how easy it is for you to pin the blame on your wife, she was too demanding etc etc, as a Muslim now, you should realise that your wife has rights over you including her rights to be provided for financially. I don't mean to sound harsh, but before criticising your wife you really need to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and acknowledge your own mistakes. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING justifies a married man cheating on his wife.
Having said that alhamdulillah Allah has blessed you with Islam. He has guided you. I understand that you have had an affair with a woman who was also cheating on her husband and is now desperate to marry you. Before you even think about a second marriage, my suggestion would be to sort your first marriage out. It can't have been easy for your wife to see you only for a few weeks every few months. Imagine the pain she would feel if she ever found out that whilst she thought you were away from her working, you were in fact spending time with another woman!! Were you neglecting her?
Go back if you can to your wife and children. Don't you see that the devil is messing with your head. He wants you to leave your wife. In Islam we believe the Devil is most happiest when he separates a husband and wife. Brother, you have reverted, Allah has erased all your previous sins, you have been given another chance. Please before sinning further with the woman who you have been having an affair with, use this opportunity to focus on your current marriage.
Go back to where your wife is, or bring her to you. Spend time with her, find out what's bothering her. Tell her how you feel. See a marriage counseller. Don't give up on your marriage, until you have at least tried to resolve your issues. Perhaps tell the other woman to work on her own marriage.
Sorry if I sounded harsh, but it would be a shame if you stared your Muslim life in sin.
I pray Allah swt guides you and blesses your marriage, Ameen.
Also and again sorry to sound harsh but you feel guilty to stop sinning with a married woman who you were having an affair with, but don't feel guilty for cheating on your wife??? You need to reflect and understand properly where your going wrong.
I know it was a mere mistake but for future reference: NEVER EVER capitalize that stupid idiot's name again "devil"! ugh
Oh oops yep most definrly a mistake ! Didn't even realise it.