Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Secret marriage

Secret relationship, secret marriage

Asalamoalaikum,
I hope you’re well.
Please help me to find the answer of this situation.
Questions are :
Is it allowed in Islam to hide second marriage from first wife?
Is it allowed in Islam for men just to marry a second wife for their desires solely?
Is secret Nikahs valid when not registered and announced publicly or to first wife and man’s family?
Is it okay for a man to marry second wife just for love and pleasures and also wanted to
Keep the first wife because she is also good with him take care of his family, his kids, house and all his social life and united his family together but he needs extra love and affection from second marriage and not satisfied with his first wife’s way of giving him affection and love?

Now the background of that man:
Canadian man married to a legal wife with 4 kids, happily married no in laws issues and she is good as I explained above but the couple fight often and husband complaint of not getting due affection, so one time husband got angry and found a Christian woman( already had a son from previous boyfriend) on a matching site , found a so called shady maulvi in Toronto , got the Nikah done with witnesses no marriage registration was done, no contract was signed, marriage was not announced to anyone, hidden from first wife, hidden from man’s own family and friends.
After nine months of his second marriage he bursted it out to his family and wife that he was married and now he had left the second wife for the love of first wife, but the first wife didn’t know anything about it and was shocked. Now the man convincing the first wife to stay in the marriage because everything is over and he was fair with her( the first wife) during that time of bigamy , I don’t know he explained himself to be fair when the first wife didn’t know anything. The second wife knew all about the first wife though.
Under the Canadian law it is adultery because second marriage was not registered so the first wife can file separation in that situation if it was registered then it’s a crime under Canadian law and he can go to jail .

What should first wife do in that situation , I understand man doesn’t need permission from first wife to marry second wife but does he has a right to lie and cheat?

My last question is it really Zina?

Please advise and really looking forward for your answer.
Thank you

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4 Responses »

  1. The man in this situation sounds like a coward, and he's not doing any of these women right.

    First of all, it's illegal in Canada to have more than one wife, so already there the guy is doing something wrong and haram. Bigamy is a serious criminal offense, and it's something the man can go to jail for when he gets caught. It's also haram of him and his second wife to reap the social benefits of the woman, legally, being a single parent when she's not one. If he wants to practice polygamy, he should move his first and second wives to a country that allows it and protects the rights of both women.

    Secondly, there is no such thing as 'secret marriage' in Islam. It's haram to lie and cheat, and it's morally disgusting to not inform your first spouse about the second one. There is a reason why men choose to hide their second wives, and that's because they KNOW their first wife won't like it. So they lie to keep their first wife imprisoned - because that's what you essentially do when you refuse to give your first spouse the option to decide for herself if she wants to be part of a polygamous lifestyle.
    Secondly, it's not right to gamble with other people's health. When people have unprotected sex with several different sex partners, and they don't know the sex history of everyone involved, the risk of contracting STIs, HIV and AIDS increases greatly. Most people don't get themselves tested regularly, or at all, and many don't even know they have an STI. People that are prepared to lie and cheat, are usually also the type of people to get STIs. Just saying.

    The man (and I use that word loosely here) needs to grow up, stand by his decisions...and move to a place where his decisions are actually legal.

  2. This is honestly like the most disturbing thing that I’ve read in the past 2 months. I feel anger crawling under my skin. How?? And why?? Why would he do all that?

    I know Allah said it’s not obligatory to ask your first wife before marrying a second wife. But before a Muslim, he’s a human being, how does humanity not consist of making sure she’s okay with it?? This is really not nice. It’s just not nice.

    I know men need sexual attention and they go bananas if they don’t receive it but how do you betray a woman who takes care of your family, house but just fails this one area and you decide to look for another body to stuff your manhood in?!

    I'm not a saint or a scholar, I’m just a normal Muslim homo sapien so I’ll answer best to my knowledge.

    Is it allowed in Islam to hide second marriage from first wife?

    No.

    Is it allowed in Islam for men just to marry a second wife for their desires solely?

    No.

    Is secret Nikahs valid when not registered and
    announced publicly or to first wife and man’s family?

    No.

    Is it okay for a man to marry second wife just for love?

    Well yes, sure go ahead if you know you’re being fair to your first wife as well. Which of course you aren’t being fair with her or treating her equally in all the above cases , as it’s seen in broad daylight.

    I know this whole thing was written by the first wife. I wish you all the best.

    I honestly wouldn’t stay with him if I were you.

    All the best.

    Shoot, this whole thing wasn’t helpful at all.

    • I just wanted to say this is exacty what I would say,couldn't say it better.

      And yes it is helpful if she wants it to take notes,a liar will always be a liar...

  3. Questions are :
    Q: Is it allowed in Islam to hide second marriage from first wife?

    Ans: No it's not. Secret marriages are not allowed in Islam. If one thinks there is no harm then one has to consider how the secret wife and her children will claim inheritance when the relationship was not known publicly.

    Q: Is it allowed in Islam for men just to marry a second wife for their desires solely?

    Ans: Generally that's the reason why people get married, because they want to. But a man can take a second wife and the first wife can divorce him if she doesn't feel that she can stay within the bounds set by Allah.

    Q: Is secret Nikahs valid when not registered and announced publicly or to first wife and man’s family?

    Ans: Secret marriages are not allowed.

    Q: Is it okay for a man to marry second wife just for love and pleasures and also wanted to
    Keep the first wife because she is also good with him take care of his family, his kids, house and all his social life and united his family together but he needs extra love and affection from second marriage and not satisfied with his first wife’s way of giving him affection and love?

    Ans: Generally a second wife can be for any reason other than lust being the primary reason. What the first wife does is of no consequence One does not get a second wife to punish the first. if you don't like the first wife then divorce her and get a different wife. Not stay with the first wife and spend half the time with the second one you like.

    As for your last question, I don't know if a secret marriage is considered zina or not. None of this matters that much though, the question is, can you stay married to him within the bounds Allah has set for you. If you can then stay and enjoy, if you cannot then divorce and enjoy. Allah wills no hardship on you.

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