Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Don’t have courage to request parents to perform Nikah again

Performing Nikkah

The Nikah of his daughter

Dear All


This is a wonderful site especially who are suffering like me. I had get many good advices here.

Now i want to describe my present situation.10 months ago i come back to my parents house. My husband was an addict. We got secret marriage. Which was not valid coz my wali was not present and just one witness is there.

When I get pregnant that time my family arrange a marriage occasion but didn't arrange any nikah again. Still now parents angry with me . My father doesn't talk with me. He also making misbehave with my daughter. None of my parent make good behave with me.

yes i made a mistake to select an addict and married secretly without their permission. then now come back their home with my five yrs kid. I am doing a job. Each month i m giving few amount from my salary but i know its not sufficient, but u know my ability is limited.

Now my husband telling me he is leaving his addiction though he wont admitted in any rehab center. I am living a miserable life with my parents family. I want to go back to my husband after few months if he really can skip this bad habit.

Now my question is i want to perform my nikah again. But i don have any courage to ask my father to be my wali and its also impossible to engage any of my relative here. One day i ask it to my mother but she deny to talk about the matter with my father. Can we again perform our nikha engage a pious Muslim or Imam as my wali?

Pleas my respective editors and brother Ali and other readers give me suggestion. One more think i have done Salatul Istikhaarah few times as brother waseem told me. Every single day when i back to home from my office my parent behavior makes me cry. What terrible language they make with me u can't imagine. They feel I am a burden of them. Whenever they make argument with me in loud voice my baby start to cry.
In my husband home i also face that type of situation as he was an addict. Now he wont take heroin. And i want to give him a chance. I don't want to give him divorce nd want to start a new life with him. Please pray for me and him and for my daughter. Give me ur valuable suggestion regarding my wali.
Please please pray for me and give me suggestion.


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2 Responses »

  1. AsSalamu Alaikum Sister,

    I can understand your parents anger here. No one will be happy to see that thier daughter has disobeyed them, and then on of top of it went to get married to a drug addict person without them being informed.

    I'd suggest that you go to your parents while they are in a good mood, and then beg them and cry till they forgive you from their heart. Let your parents know how truly sorry you are. Perhaps this may ease their anger upon you and the innocent child.

    To me staying with your family and getting abused is better than being with a drug addict husband who could abuse you with no mercy.

    Perhaps you didn't know that he was a drug addict before you married him, so how would you know if he has trully got rid of it?

    Hope this helps InshaAllah

  2. Salam Sister,

    Brother Issah has given good advice. Only your parents can get you remarried again or married correctly.

    I would say people wh use drugs rarely kick the habit without some intervention i.e rehab centre. Do not make the decision to marry your 'husband' unless he agrees to join a rehab centre which you have complete access to his progress.

    Once he has completely recovered then you can consider it. Drug addicts can be be voilent. So please do not risk your s and your daughter's life by going back to him now.

    Be firm and strong and tell your 'husband' that according to Islam your marriage may not be valid so you have no relation with him. If he wants you back he must join a rehab centre and once he is better (confirmed by the centre) he should come and ask your father for your hand in the right way.

    Then you can both beg and cry your heart out on your fathers feet. And most importantly keep praying to Allah and asking for the best for you and your family.

    May Allah bring you peace.

    Take care xxxx

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