Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can we both get married in secret despite us being already married?

Pre-marital/extra-marital relationships are haram in Islam


I need some advice on the below statement, please please can someone help me as I am very much in need for some advise. I have been married once before and my relationship to my husband has not been very well. He stayed away from 5 years never contacted me and never came to see me, but we are not yet divorced and I never had seen him since.

Between these 5 years; I have been having a relationship with a guy for 4 years and we are very much close to each other both physically and intimately. My boyfriend is married but does not stay with his wife, he is not divorced either a bit like me. Now, it has come to a point where my boyfriend had to get his wife from Bangladesh and she is in the UK now. He does not love her and does not sleep in the same room as her.

Because we are both already married but love each other so much we are planning on getting married without anyone knowing, and in the future maybe a year later start telling our families when the right time comes by. My parents will never let me get married to my boyfriend and neither will his parents as we are both married already and this is why we want to get married in secret.

I know Islamically our marriages have broken down because me and my boyfriend are very intimate and despite being already married but our parents won't allow that and neither should they know we are intimate. Please can you help me and tell me if I am doing right, if my marriage with my boyfriend will be halaal islamically? I said to him he can keep his first wife but he needs to marry me as I do not have anyone but him in my life.


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4 Responses »

  1. Slayer1986_2010

    Have you considered what your fate will be if your soul is taken while you are sinning. Wake up before its too late and stop this foolishness. You have very bad choices in secret. Its time to step up and deal with things in matter of priority, not back to front.

    1. So you want to continue sinning and earn Allah's Anger and possibly a place in Hell?
    If yes, continue commintting adultery.
    If no, stop this relationship NOW and make sincere tawbah before it is too late.

    2. Do you want to remain with your first husband?
    If yes, then contact him and see where you both stand.
    If no, then do something about it. Go and see an Imam, explain to him the situation with your husband, that he has been absent for however long and you may find that you are already divorced - but you must consult this in detail with an Imam. No-one else here can tell you if you are divorced or not because we do not know the full situation.

    3. Once you are sure that you are no longer married to your first husband, ask the '3rd man' to marry you openly and honestly with all the nikah requirements present. Otherwise walk away.

    The choice is yours. You can either continue playing cat n mouse in secret and risk losing out in this life and the next. Or you can be brave, face up to reality and do the right thing. Make the sacrifice for the sake of your deen and make sincere tawbah before it is too late.

    SisterZ Editor

    • And apologies for missing out words in sentences and for miss-spellings. My brain is a little mashed up today.

      SisterZ Editor

  2. both the boyfriend and you are in a haram relationship you know it and he knows it
    what you both need to do is get a divorce
    get your wali and
    get married

  3. 1. Get Married 2. REPENT. 3. KEEP ON REPENTING 4. STILL REPENT 5. KEEP DOING IT till Allah forgvies you, snm

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