Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Secret Nikkah!


As Salaam O Aikakum,

I am 25 years old. I have been in a relationship with my BF for 2 years, on my recent visit to pakistan we secretly got married and had our Nikkah in court.

My Parents found out about this and now want me to get a divorce from him because I will bring shame to the family. They dont like him because he is uneducated and poor and my family is educated and well off.

Was me having my Nikkah with him in my kismat? We love each other but I dont know what to do, I dont want to leave my family and I dont want to leave my husband ...

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Responses »

  1. Your nikah may not even be valid.

    You need to have a wali/guardian to represent you at your nikah. So, figure that out first.

    Also, it's never a good thing to fight your family about to marriage, because if you have problems in your marriage then who will you turn to? Talk to your parents and maybe have your "husband" talk with them with his family. A yways, Allah is our Only Provider. So, you can tell your parents that haha.

  2. Sister firstly i think you should have tried convincing your family first then jumping in for nikah secondly what is done is done and to turn a haraam relationship to a halal one is good in my eyes rest Allah knows best.. what you can do is stay at your parents and tell them they can still do your ruksati in a propa way not like you have ran away and come back they still have their respect. Personally don't divorce, your happiness will eventually convince your parents just take it as a test stay strong and fight for your love. Tomorrow if something goes wrong which In Sha Allah it wont atleast you dont have anyone 2 blame.. Marriage is a big thing and to spend it with the one you love is a blessing it's your full life I know alot of people that sacrifice for parents then stay upset pray 2 Allah n eventually they'll agree also if you know any religious person like a Mulana get them to give your parents a islamic talk it might help because education status money shouldnt be the barrier if he drinks wasn't islamic then it's understandable..

  3. I am just curious your love/husband is uneducated and is not well off. So how do you suppose he can manage to provide for you. I am not against him for not being rich but in the long run you will regret your decision as you dont want your family to support him and that you be the bread winner. Its hard in real life and love fades away.

    You are educated or still maybe studying, you have a bright future and your parents want whats best for you, they are not against this marriage they are trying to ensure a better future for you. You clearly are in no position to make better judgement about yourself and that what you want in life as i can see. You just fell in love and decided to get married by running away(very mature).

    Second your marriage might not even be valid because no wali was present. If so you need to rethink your immature action and listen to your parents.

    • Salam alaikum Manis,

      It's not very kind to dish out harsh sarcastic remarks to our sister. She has just got married and is asking for help with her family; therefore she is already rethinking her actions. Her parents want to break them up, but as long as she knows there was a wali such as an imam there to confirm the purity of the boy, then there should be no question of keeping them together. What is done is done, and what's more is they actually love each other!
      I say she should stay with him, have the proper ruksati with all the family present, and act as if they are just getting married for the first time, for the sake of the family. Afterwards she can introduce him to uncles and cousins who can get him a nice job and then he can study schooling at night.
      I agree with you on one point, though, it is not going to be easy for this couple for the next five years or so, because it is going to take a lot of work and perserverance on the boy's side to catch up and provide for her (and any children that may come inshAllah). It is going to take patience and faith on the girl's behalf. They will go through hard times, like any marraige, but it is possible. After the first few years the family will adjust. The key is to keep in touch and never close off relationships with parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, ect.
      Lets make dua that this young couple's marraige will last long, have lots of patience for struggle, faith in Allah as their Rab, and good relations with their family. Ameen.


      • When I got married my husband didn't even have a pound 2 provide for me but we left it to Allah and Alhamdulilah we managed but sadly when money came in our life my husband moved far from me n today were seperated as he chased money and forgot he had a family. So sis stay with a man that will love you its the strongest foundation in the marriage and trust me he will provide for you as he's taken on the responsibility it will be hard but I'm sure will be worth it. In regards to family keep trying and stay with them till they agree till how long will they stay angry and they can't re marry a married women so they'll come over it In Sha Allah..

Leave a Response