Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Seeking forgiveness after being very abusive to husband

prayer dua marriage

It's been 3 years since I got married. I have been a very nagging and abusive wife to my husband in these three years. I am an outgoing social person but my husband is completely opposite. In the start of our marriage he never cared for my feelings towards many things and now he has started understanding a bit about how I feel and that I love going out with him and all but he still doesn't take me out + whenever I ask him to do so or force he say straight No on my face or say ok we will see but he doesn't do it at all..

As a result I become abusive to him, fight with him, but last when had a fight I went too far. I accused him of ruining my life by getting married to him and many more things. But when he said that the only thing between us now is daughter due to which we are together... I repented the time I started fighting. I asked him to forgive me but he doesn't say anything now. I have asked him to forgive me a couple of times before too but this time it got really nasty. I don't what to do!!

warda


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3 Responses »

  1. Assalamoalaikum sister
    Alhamdulillah sister the very first line of your post shows that you are a person who has realized her mistakes. You said you have been a nagging and abusive wife. We all can start taking our spouses for granted but sometimes the realization comes too late or in some cases never comes!

    Sister, i do not have a lot of experience but i would suggest since you feel really bad for your last argument do whatever you can to show your husband how sorry you are. If your husband is a good man inshaAllah he will forgive you if he genuinely feels tht you are going tochange. Write him a letter, give him a surprise dinner, if he doesnt like to go out sister you can always make friends who can go out with you. Maybe your husband likes to be at home that is not a big problem.

    Give your husband an apology through a letter and treat him like a king he will accept your apology and after tht you will have to show him through actions that you have changed. Only then he will believe you inshaAllah. If you do it again he might give up on you and think that you will never change and trust me you do NOT want that.

    One thing that really helps in ignoring your spouse's flaws is that always remind yourself to love the other person for the sake of Allah swt. Dont think he doesnt go out or he doesnt do this for me then why should i be nice to him we all are guilty of this. But we need to start loving our spouses for the sake of Allah swt and only then can we give them unconditional love.

    May Allah swt ease your troubles sister. We all are guilty of taking our spouses for granted at one time or the other but the realization is s gift from Allah swt. Whenever you feel anger recite bismillah.

  2. Salaam sister, it's good you have realised. Shower your husband with tonnes of love and avoid any nagging. Apologise for hurting him and don't try to change him, work with him to enjoy your marriage inshaAllah 🙂

  3. you should try to change yourself

    you said its been three years, did all these three years were spent with nagging and abuse?

    its a pretty long time and then you also made your husband feel rejected and hurt his self esteem badly which will be very difficult to recover

    if you don't change it will become worse and he may leave you, if he sees change in you, then it may become better

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