I’m separated and just converted to Islam, can I marry a Muslim man now?
I am a separated woman for 2 years but not yet divorced. I become muslim just last month and met an egyptian boyfriend who is also a muslim.
An Egyptian Wedding Procession
He offered me marriage but my problems are:
1. Is it true that I can marry him since I am now a muslim even I am just separated from husband and not yet legally divorced?
2. As a new muslim, when will my name changed?
Please answer me back coz I will marry this August, 2011.
Thank u very much
- michiganmarbelly
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Salaam My Sister,
Welcome to the beautiful religion of Islam.
It is true that Islamically your marriage to a non-Muslim is invalidated in the eyes of Allah, and under Muslim law your marriage to a non Muslim is annulled.
Because you are not in a Muslim country I am worried about the risk you would put yourself into by marrying without getting a legal divorce and the potential hardship you may be inviting onto yourself: [al-Baqarah 2:195] “do not throw yourselves into destruction” .
In some countries marrying whilst being legally married is an offence, and carries with it a punishment. Legal marriage also gives spouses rights over each other according to the country they are in and so I recommend you not put yourself into hardship, strain or strife with a potential liability in the eyes of the law, and divorce from your husband according to the law - as until you have done that, you are still legally linked to him and he will be regarded by the country as your next-of-kin (meaning he gets half of what you have, he inherits your property, he organises your funeral etc). If you delay divorce, and come into property and divorce later - he can claim a right over what you have achieved. All of this politics and law is a threat to you for all the time you are legally married so I would recommend that you avoid harm from the law and from your previous husband and divorce him legally and make sure that no one has any right over you (except those to whom it is rightfully due).
I do not know what country you are in, but in most Western countries getting a divorce is very easy, especially if you are separated already and there are no children or property to argue over - it is a matter of filing a piece of paper and paying a fee - both parties sign, and then you get your divorce. For UK, http://www.quickie-divorce.com, for USA it will depend on the state you are in, and the complexity of your relationship (i.e: finance, debt, children and so on). As it sounds as though everything is quite clear cut, there should be no problems for you - just the hassle of paperwork.
May Allah make this all easy for you and grant many blessings to your marriage.
Peace,
Leyla
Editor, Islamic Answers
Salaam,
I forgot to address the name issue - there is some debate regarding names after marriage, does a woman take the husband's name or no?
I have borrowed an excellent article from the scholars at Islam Online: which explains the matter for us.
[start quote]
"As far as Islam is concerned there is nothing wrong if the wife uses or be referred to with the surname of her husband.
In this context, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:
"There is no specific tradition of last name among Muslims. Sometimes the people take the last name of the family (Qurashi, Hashimi), sometimes they take their last name from their profession (Qassab, Najjar), sometimes they take their last name from the city in which they are born (Makki, Madani, Shami, Masri) and many other ways. The proper way in Islam is that the person should be known by his/her name and the name of his/her biological father. It is not required for a woman to take the name of her husband, but it is also not forbidden if she is recognized as the wife of so-and-so."
Dr. Siddiqi further adds:
"It is permissible for a woman to change her last name after marriage. A woman can introduce herself or others can introduce her as the wife of so and so. In the ahadith, we see that the Prophet's wives were sometimes referred to with the names of their fathers and sometimes as "wife of the Prophet". These things are more based on cultural practices and whatever is convenient can be done. What is forbidden in Islam is that a person refers to him/herself as the son or daughter of someone other than the real biological father. Allah says in the Qur'an, "Proclaim their parentage; that is more equitable in the sight of Allah." (al-Ahzab: 5) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Whosoever will claim the name of anyone other than his father will not even get the smell of Paradise." (Reported by Ibn Majah)""
[end quote]
In regards to your first name, it is up to you if you wish to change it. Generally, it is not compulsory to change your first name as the Prophet (pbuh) never changed the names of those who came to Islam unless their original meaning was a bad one, or had bad connotations. Having said that, many reverts to Islam like to change their name as a mark of their new lives, and their rebirth in faith and as a way to be recognised as Muslim. In the UK you can change your name through Deedpoll and there is more information on this if you click this link: http://www.ukdp.co.uk. In other countries there is likely to be a similar service. If you do change your name, do not forget to update all of your formal documents with your new name.
Peace,
Leyla
Editor, Islamic Answers