Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Sex before marriage.

Interactions between the engaged couple

As salamualay kum brothers and sisters.

Guys I can't believe I'm writing this, but I'm stuck. I'm 20 and Muslim my girlfriend is 19 and Muslim. We've been in a Haram relationship for 4 years and we've had sex and oral sex, we know about Islam and how sinful this is. Clearly shaytaan has the best of us. Currently weve broke up, and even though we've had sex I want to get my Nikkah done with her because I know that's the best thing to do. I've been praying and reading darood tanjeena, Ive made istakhara about us, and spoke to my mum about this. She said if she was meant to be shed come. But mum doesn't know what we've done. We've had sex and I want to know is it best to leave her or to convinice her to come back and aim for a nikkah? Please I've never done this before, but I'm at a low point in life atm. Thank you


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3 Responses »

  1. Wsalam,
    Brother, this is a tough situation and nobody can decide for you except yourself.
    First, you must repent with your utmost heart. Recite astaghfar, la Ilaha illa ant subhanak inni kuntu minnaz zalimeen and others duas of repentance in abundance. You must commit yourself never ever to do this sin again whether you get married to her or not. Inshallah this will be possible with your determination and seeking help and mercy from Allah SWT, for we are nothing without His Mercy and Guidance.

    You say you are 20. Do you work? Can you support a family? What about your education? Can your parents support you and your spouse till you are capable of doing so?
    What about the girl’s family? What does she want for herself?
    You need to figure out these answers first and definitely do Istikhara.
    Then, send a proposal to her family and see where it goes from here.
    You may think this is your way of doing it right for both of you but you do not know her point of view.
    Make lots of dua and proceed. It will be better if you do not contact the girl directly for any of this,rather, approach her family so that both of you keep away from the temptetation of sin.

    Another thing that I would like to point out is that when we sin, one of the ploys of Satan is to put us into despair and hopelessness and make us despondent about Allah’s mercy. All of us are sinners but the best are those who do taubah. Sincere taubah and a strong desire to be on the right path which Alhamdulilah you do have.
    May Allah have mercy on us all and keep us on siratul mustaqeem till our last breath. Ameen.

  2. Asslamoalaikum......I am very upset I am having premature ejaculation...I really want to stop it ...plzz help to stop it?plzz help plz reply me I don't know how to publish post so I asked here...plzzzz

    • Brother,

      Maybe someone will answer you here, but to increase your chances of receiving a response, there are several headings in white at the top of this page, in the light blue row. One reads "Submit your Question," in which you will find instructions and a submission form.

      I hope this helps.


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