Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My Sexual Desires are Overtaking me

good muslim

Salam my name is Miriam and I am so upset with my life because I keep having sexual issues and then I am so so stupid because I start chatting to random guys about it on the Internet and then I feel had because of the sin. But I repent but now I have become fed up sexual desire is taking over my life and I don't know what to do.

I feel like a bad Muslim and then I can't listen to the Quran or do some because I feel like I am a hypocrite and my mind says "why you doing this when you sin"  or " Allah hates you" and I feel so so so upset. I swear down I don't know what to do I can't be a bad Muslim.

I want to marry but I can't even marry because I haven't found someone and you don't want to rush it.

Please help me I don't know what to do I don't even know if Allah (SWT) will forgive me. I have done this so many times and now I'm taking advantage its unbelieveable.

~ Mirian-12

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10 Responses »

  1. sallam

    we all make mistake but God does forgive. do tauba, dont repeat the sin and inshallah youll be forgiven. if you feel that you have issues in communicating with men, then deactivate your facbook, stop using chat rooms, delete msn from your computert or skype! people say if your addicted ease of it, i think this is wrong sometimes you need to make a strong intention and totally stop!!

    just pray for forgivenss and when its your time to marry then its your time, dont worry to muhc have alot of faith! inshallah youll be fine and get married

    dont stop reading the quran or praying, these are your salvations !

    Allah hafiz

  2. All the praise belongs to allah swt that he gave u wisdom to seek solution in the light quran and sunnah.

    Well its the shaytan inside u which makes upercieve that why to listen quran when u do wrong things,,shaitan makes u believe that allah will not forgive after u have committed this sort of grievious sins BUT DONT BE dismayed its shaytans trick.

    Secondly u should be happy that its the sign of immman,faith inside u which makes u feel remorse after the sin,

    I will presribe u the sunnah way to lower ur sexual desire . Fsast 2 days a week,,this will lower the hyper sexuality and will get u closer to allah swt mmore,

  3. please dont chat to any guy, it will disturb you again and again... involve your self in islamic activities. stop using internet.

  4. Aswak,

    Even I have the same problem. I am bachelor and stay in US.
    I have faith in Allah and lot of importance of his Rasool in my life.

    I find myself midst of so many beautiful girls.Lot of of friends have girl friends and are involved in sexual activities.My sexual instinct takes over me. I know the root cause of this is not controlling what u see which I find challenging controlling all the time. But I thank Allah that I am still Virgin even at the age of 29 as all my other friends are not.

    I am looking to get married to stop this battle inside of me but not finding any suitable girl with whom feel like spending my life.

    I am a scared that I may end up having zina and loose all the peace inside of me.

    I m tired of this struggle which have to go thru every now and then.

    Please pray for me so that I have control on my self.

    Allah Hafiz.

    • Brother

      Remember that your struggle to remain chaste will be highly rewarded inshaAllah. Please read thé articles I have recommended to the sister above.

      SisterZ Editor

  5. Assalam alikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu,

    You can reduce the desires by reducing your food intake. So basically write down how many calories you eat in a day then try to eat 50 calories less the next if you feel you have desires.

    So reduce your food intake by 250 caolories a week, Sayadna Abubaker Sadiq used to eat about 350 calories a day.

    For more details you can take online course at seekersguidence. The course is free!. I will give you a guide on how to reduce your food intake.

    this method works 100% guaranteed.

    Lesson 1: Introduction

    Brief biography of Imam Al-Ghazali
    Importance of Purification and Rectification of the Heart
    Understanding Virtues and Vices

    Purification of the Heart from Blameworthy Traits: The Third Ten Principles. [Lessons 2 - 7]

    Lesson 2:

    Gluttony and Benefits of Hunger
    Sufficiency in the Reduction of Food Intake
    Harms of Covetous Talk and Confining Oneself to Important Talk
    Evils of the Tongue, Dishonesty and Backbiting and Means to Cure

    Lessons 3:

    Anger and Means to Defeat It
    Envy and the Means to Cure It

    Lesson 4:

    Miserliness and Love of Material Wealth
    Frivolity, Love of Status and Praise
    Cure from such vices

    Lesson 5:

    Love of this World and the Enemies Within it Towards Hereafter
    The Existence of the World as a Place for Cultivation for Hereafter
    The Reality of Pride and Arrogance, and Their Cure

    Lesson 6:

    The Reality of Vanity and its Cure
    Kinds and Levels of Showing Off
    The Subtleties and Cures from Showing off

    Lesson 7:

    The Rectification of Character Through Utmost Striving
    Warning Against Self-Delusion Regarding the Attainment of Excellent Character
    Self-Examination of Blameworthy Character in the Heart and Its Love for This World

    The Virtuous Character: The Fourth Ten Principles. [Lessons 8 - 12]

    Lesson 8:

    The Importance and Reality of Repentance
    The Conditions of Acceptance of Repentance
    The Reality, Quality and Way to Attain Fear of Allah

    Lesson 9:

    The Reality and Stations of Material Detachment
    Stations of Material Detachment With Respect to Its Motives
    The Reality and Stations of Patience
    The Reality and Stations of Gratitude
    The Classification of Gratitude based on Knowledge, State and Action

    Lesson 10:

    Sincerity and Truthfulness
    The Reality of Intention and Corruptions of Sincerity
    The Reality of Reliance Upon Allah
    The Four Stratums of Reliance Upon Allah

    Lesson 11:

    Loving Allah
    Knowing Love and the One Who Rejects it
    Complete Contentment
    Characteristics of Contentment in Tribulation

    Lesson 12:

    Remembrance of Death
    The Benefits of Remembering Death
    The Reasons for Forgetting our Mortality

    Go to the angelic side in all ur life matters to control ur mind. Then you will feel peace and ability to get rid of sin.
    Use the law of attraction to find your soulmate to marry.
    Say daily affirmations to find the proper husband.
    Say daily Duaa to find the proper husband
    Feel positive all the time in all your daily affairs .
    Never feel upset .and never trust men on internet or so . Men are born hunters ,do not be the vicitm.
    Your game is very dangerous .never think you are the clever ... others are more clever than you think.
    Women are delicate so handle your life carefully.
    Your limits are marriage....until then you have ur imagination.
    Good luck

  7. I am a student of engineering, studied in UET LHR.
    I have a problem that i have a very bad control over sexual desires. I pray five times and Quran daily..... I full try to avoid bad thing and negative thinking, but some times, these become dominant over me, what should i do?

  8. I don't understand what people are looking in their future partner when there are a lot of potential candidate out there. Just lower your demands to save yourself from sin. First of all there is no particular age of marriage. If you feel you have more sexual desire than take your parents in confidence and do nikah simply and follow sunnah. Either look for beauty or noble family or wealth or simplicity. If you look for all at the same time or wait for prince charming than he will never come.

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