Islamic marriage advice and family advice

She left me heart broken, betrayed and with huge weight of guilt

I am in such pain

Memories tearing me apart

Assalamu alaikum,

This feeling of being lonely and all those memories is tearing me apart. I feel like i have got nothing to loose and just want to die. If it is not for Allah and my Family i would have been already dead. I loved her like she is the whole world to me and expected just a half of it from her.. I always wanted to marry her and become father of her children. We even had names for our unborn baby girl.

We often go to the seashore and hold each others hands where she will say that her love for me is greater that these oceans altogether and i reply back that my love for her is greater that the skies.. These are some among the tons of memories i still have about her.. Its not going anywhere.

Whenever someone advice me to forget her it feels good for couple of days and again i am getting so depressed and lonely.

I am editing this the 2nd time, i know i have to conceal my sins but i  think when expecting answers i have to tell the truth. so i am telling it right now.. Whenever we meet we will always hold our hands together and she used to keep her hand on my chest and just stare at me as if i were the whole world to her. This continued for almost 2 years and one day we did what we are not supposed to do.. i still regret for getting intimate with her physically and emotionally but i would have never did that if i would have known that she will leave me one day..

I always said to lot of my friends who take girls for granted and just dump them after having fun with them. .to not to do that and its wrong. I always advice them to have a good.. true.. honest relationship with them.. but they often laugh at me and mock me..

Now i am feeling like i wish i were one of those guyz who had just fun and no emotional feelings for the girl. I am severely depressed and just dont know what to do..

She dumped me 6 months ago saying that she is in love with her colleague..

Now they are going to get married sooner.

I was completely shattered and still now cant believe that she did that to me.First even before she told me that she is in love with her colleague  I asked her why she is doing this to me, she simply replied that i am not a urudu muslim but a tamil guy and she is urudu. We had no contacts for 2 weeks and then again i missed her so much and called her back and thats the time when she said she is in love with her colleague who is a urudu speaking muslim and working as her team leader. I dont know whether any of you guys reading this have been through such a situation but believe me its horrible and not a single day passes by without crying and feeling this intense pain in my heart, i get nightmares, dreams of her being with me, all the words she whispered to me and all the love she showed to me... Allah please get this away from me please :'-( i can't bear it...  i even dont have anyone to say thats why i am here. Believe me guys i never had any slightest intention of cheating her. I believed she had that pure love for me too but how? How she left me forgetting everything that happened between us.. she always told me she will never leave me for any reason.. but now for a better man with better status in her office she dumped me like an used paper. I cant bear the pain of being rejected, dumped and betrayed. She didnt even explained it to me why and whats the reason behind it. I asked her 1000 times but still all the answer i get back from her is I dont like you.

Honestly guys i really wanted to kill her, i was so mad that i got so many things running in my mind like to throw acid on her face or just tell about us to her relatives etc... but Allah SWT saved me from doing that, but i did some bad stuff too.. i called her mum and said i love her daughter and i lost everything onto her even i told we got physical..At the early stages of our love i met her mum and asked for her and she agreed that she will get her married to me in 2 years..

Now she completely forgot everything and saying that it doesnt matter about the physical relationship we had and now whom her daughter is loving right now is much better than me and i am not fit for her daughter.. I cant even imaging how her family could act like this.

you may think what a arrogant and cruel person i am but the truth is I am not guys i swear I am always polite to everyone, never harmed anyone in my live and always believed that true love never fails  I dont know why i got this much anger on her. I went to her office to meet her colleague who she is in love with, he came and simply said that he proposed her after he found that she was in love with him. I acted so stupid and said that i cant forget her and i still love her so much, i also said to him about our intimate relationship we had that day, just to make him understand how much i love her but he just replied whatever i've done to her is the past and he doesnt care about her past. Now i wanted to kill him too.

All i am seeking is death or Allah to guide me and bless me with his mercy and give me better peace of mind. I still love her so much and i just cant forget her. Her memories, all those words,,..

she atleast say 100 "I love you" per day and now she might be saying it to him.. i just cant bear or imagine someother guy with her. We have spoken like what real husband and wife do and i always thought she will only be mine. I am from south India and always thought this is a place well known for its culture and moral values... but nowadays its not like that i believe..

Please help me, i am feeling like i am the only one with this kind of situation in this whole world, can anyone understand my pain? the betrayal and the loneliness. What should i have to do in this situation..i am often getting this idea about how will they talk to each other and what they will do after marriage etc..its making me sick. i feel like i cannot marry anyone else, she always used to boast about how beautiful she is and how much lucky i am to get her. She often says that i wont be getting any one beautiful like her if i miss her. Now i am in this anxiety as well.

please help me with getting through this i cant cope up anymore.. i dont know how long it will take and i am already 25. I would like to know about any duas for clearing this mess out of my mind.. now i am saying 'Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raj'oon, Allahumma ujurni fi musibathi wakhlufli khairan minha' I hope i happens In Sha Allah

- Muslim Boy

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79 Responses »

  1. Wa Alaykum assalaam
    Dear Akhi I am not knowledgeable on giving u good advice... But I will tell u what I would do in your situation.... I would increase my relationship with Allah... Try fasting, Dua and extra Quran reading. Increasing your eman will help you through this trial... Insha Allah. Also keep in mind that if this girl was good for you then Allah would have let her stay with you. 🙂 She obviosly dont know what shes missing... I will keep you in my duas Akhie.. For I know what it is like to lose someone close to you.

    • Dear Ukhti, I am increasing my relationship with Allah gradually, nowadays when i feel very blue all i think about is Allah, Akhirah and Jannah. If Allah is saying that he will provide the good doers with an eternal home full of happiness then why would i have to worry about this betraying and humiliating world.just be good and repent. If Allah SWT promises any good doers with HoorlEin why would i cry over a girl who left me for the sake of this material world. I know this Bf Gf is not allowed in islam.. but only now i feel the truth that it is forbidden for a noble cause. Thing is i am a wreck now.. trying to build up myself.. and i just got so emotional after seeing lot of posts in this website which made me write myself in this site, but i think i should ve never done that. I shouldve kept it myself so that at least i would not been judged by others wrongly. Anyways what happened is happened. Take care ukhti. Wassalam.

      • Dear brother....

        Don't say that......a lot of people also wrote very encouraging posts as well.....every one here came to tell are not alone...Even if there were few people who said something that hurt should realize they still came here and wrote something for you....

        Please...step back...and look at us all, dear brother..all of us here....coming from different back grounds and different places....we all are fighting life...shaitan and the worldly charms. You are not alone...

        To lose hope is like kufr.......Allah always says keep hope....if there have been bad days....there will be good days again....keep faith and smile to another ..spreads happiness .....

        Allah created we value the gift of peace, harmony, kindness, goodness and appreciate life.....till we don't experience bad...we never appreciate the good around us..we forget to appreciate Him (Allah SWT).....

        He gives us we can feel how it we never hurt someone else....If He gives pain...He also heals.....

        Please brother smile....and thank all these peopleeee....for their kind words and time...
        Take care 🙂

        • Yes brother they did and i know they will continue to support everyone who is looking for some advice In Sha Allah.. The fact is brother nowadays i am really deep into Islam trying myself to get close to Allah SWT as much as i can.. I was never like this before. I got this strong faith after she left me.. I dont know how but all i am doing is taking advantage of my situation during my sadness.. and begging Allah for forgiveness and inner peace.. For everything nowadays i am comparing this worldly life with the Akhira. some of the ayats that i keep on getting on my mind is "Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest" and " verily after every hardship there is ease" These are the ayats that makes me feel happy. I am sorry if any of my comments were offensive. I love you all for the sake of Allah. Please include me in your duas. I can feel how changed i am but one thing i am unable to get rid of my mind is her memories and all the bad stuff i did. I just cant forgive myself. I often message her to forgive me, the last message was a month ago. .and i dont want to send it anymore not because of i dont feel bad about what i did its just because she is going to be another man's wife. I believe its wrong to contact her anymore. All I have now is love for Allah SWT and i strongly believe i will never ever experience any heartbreaks for loving him. I just want to forgive myself and move on. Pray for me brother. Wassalam

          • Indeed....Memories that cause guilt...I am happy they are with you...some people do bad..and never think of all what they have done...thank Allah...that he lights your heart with the presence of guilt.

            Memories of her....will take time to fade.....but whenever u think of her..try to distract yourself with some other task...

            Try to do something like..helping other I always tell whoever I a waiter at the an old cleaner carry his bucket..I don't know...I do stuff like heart smiles....give money if you can by your own hands....make someone smile

            ..and oh ya by the ur sister...not your brother 😉 ...but I do congratulate myself on sounding so manly and masculine on my advices ....haha...just kidding...

            Do remember me in your prayers too...I too am human..and I too seek for inner peace and happiness 🙂

  2. asalamalaikum… i have never really answered anyones question or havent adviced anyone on how to get over a break up, because basically i have been asking for help like a crazy girl, when on the other hand i know my ex doesnt even miss me,though i am better than him in every single way, he has nothing serriosly, but we people are stupid who cry for certain people :/… its almost being a year we broke up, anyways all i want to say you is deal with the hate phase. This is when you want to just scream because your rage feels boundless. The amount of anger you feel depends on how antagonistic the split was, the circumstances, and how long it took to make the final break.. You may even feel a lot of anger towards yourself, but let go of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time and energy to rip yourself apart over something you no longer have the power to change. There are so many positive things you can do with your emotions and energy. Although it may feel good to replace your feelings of love…Sorry, but it just takes time. My boyfreind who I was crazy about broke up with me. Its being almost a year but now i feel a littlle better,it's normal to think about someone you really cared about. Don't worry, eventually it will get better.Heart is being stunned, so try using brain. Its helpful.Let go of the negative emotions. Understand that.there is no benefit in holding on to heartache, regret, and hatred
    toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person
    was unique and special in a lot of ways. You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough
    to take a risk and fall in love, (love is a waste) encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out
    this time, there will be a next time.Keep your dignity.Many times, it'sour own ego that
    causes the pain;we feel rejected and deceived,embarrassed. We doubt our self
    worth and adequacy…. A breakup,.especially one in which your partner has cheated on you, can really undermine your self-confidence and shake your self-esteem to the core. Help rebuild your inner stability by
    impressing yourself …Keep all recriminations and pleading to yourself . Let's face it: done is done, but you went ahead,anyhow, and now she has cold feet, she is dating her collegue, or whatever. Take the news as gracefully as you possibly can. Cry over it if you need to. Just don't call names, express bitter regrets, or plead and beg for another chance, just dont beg for her, u can get over her i know… you can do anything you want but only if u want to, will dwelling or crying over her help you? No!! It wont, so why are you upset when shes happy? Just think about it…
    i am only 16 i am no one to help you, but trust me one day we will laugh at our selfs the way we are asking people how to get over it etc… we will feel stupid on what all we did to get over them, you are 25 you can get married, i promise you there is a girl in this world who wants a guy like you, not only one many, much more beautiful then her, forget her if she did with you all this then always remember allah has watched everything… you are sensational dont dwell over her
    goodluck i know how you are feeling, and not only me 19282929292019286262222 of people know the feeling 😛 lol
    In all this shaitaan will also keep on taking the chance to not let you forget her, but show it you can…
    You cant even imagine what all stupid things i have done to get over him, trust allah you will be finee

    • yes true sis juweria said right, Shaitan wont let you forget her so easily so in order to beat shaitan you have to make him weak and i m sure we all know how shaitan becomes weak but one of the best way is to remember Allah swt always as much as possible and the amount of love you gave to dat girl, give it to Allah and den you will see how beautiful life will be.

    • Wow subhanAllah,
      What a wonderful advice coming from a sister who was going crazy over her break up a few months ago. Allah hu Akbar, I am so happy and thankful to Allah (swt) who helped you not only move on but also to help others (through advice/motivation) who are going through the same thing. This is just so beautiful, I can't explain in words. This is pay off for everyone's efforts including those of our valued readers who spare their time to help other brothers and sisters in need to direction;). Stay blessed dear little sister, you made my day Alhamdullilah.

      May Allah (swt) preserve the Ummah and guide our youth on the right path. Amin


    • Have tears in my eyes sister reading ur msg... everyone thinks he/she is the only one suffering, there r 1000 like this including me but Allah heals the pain dunya give us . U r so right sister.

      • i love you all brothers and sisters............. This world is just a testing... i thought i am the only one in this world to suffer so much pain..... now i know i'm not the only one. may Allah bless us alll...... and give us jannah for the pains we have undergone... and do pray Allah to give me rest soon because what i'm suffering cannot be described..

  3. Walaikumassalam brother,

    I will only offer one bit of honest advice.

    listen to this. Click on Ayah 1-7, just sit back and listen and feel free to click the next one and keep listening. May Allah swt guide you to discover the love that never ends.


    • Thank you brother! I really liked the website...thanks so much!! 🙂

    • Having some internet speed issues in my room brother. .i will hear it soon In Sha Allah.. Jazakallahu khairan brother.

    • Dear brother saqib,

      The site was amazing and i am downloading all the mp3s from it. Jazakallahu khairan for your link. I heard his lecture about quran remedy for sadness and i really liked it.

  4. salam bro

    the only piece of advice i can give, which someone gave me when my wife divorced me, is: don't think too much - do zikr, read Koran, give salawat.

    you're just giving yourself more pain if you think about her with another guy. Allah give you patience, but really, don't think too much. it'll hurt for ages and ages but Allah loves us all and will give you a way out of your pain inshallah


    • Wa alaikum salam brother,

      I dont know how you got out of that pain brother, I hope In Sha Allah Allah SWT will get me out of my pain.
      Jazakallahu khairan for your comment

  5. Salamu aleykum Brother,

    This is not a new thing. It has happened to you for the first time that's why you are finding it so difficult to cope up with it. But bad people will always do bad things. We cannot expect anything good from them.

    Its good that you came to know her truth before you got married to her.

    I know its very difficult to forget her since you loved her a lot and still love her. Girls usually do such things. They live a guy for a better guy. Even guys do it. But i have seen so many girls do it. And it doesnt matter if you had a physical relation with her or not bcoz FINALLY SUCH PEOPLE BELIVE IN ONLY ONE THING AND THAT IS MONEY IS EVERYTHING. They are slaves to money. Money is everything for them.

    So its better that you move on in your life and find another girl and this time dont have a affair but get married. Having affair is wrong in Islam cause it usually leads to physical relationship. All this is a BIG SIN in islam.

    Suicide is a BIG sin. She just wants to build her career i guess at the sake of Ur love for her.
    It could have been a even worse situation if she had cheated you after marriage.

    Also i am sure Allah has removed that girl from your life for a very good reason, which none but Allah alone knows.

    So its better to forgive and forget and carry on with life.


    And in sha allah everything will be fine in your life



  6. Firstly, I am truly sorry to hear your sad story brother. Life is so hard and now days it's complicated even, sometimes I Thimphu wish life was easy no hardship no enemy no sadness and so on but it's not that easy it's full off hardship full of enemy and lots I'd sadness around us and this thing won't end even when we are dead.

    Secondly I am a bit confused by your first paragraph what did you really mean by "I always wanted to marry her and become father of her children. We even had names for our unborn baby girl" is it you dreamed of or was she pregnant? I would like to tell you something brother weather you agree or not or like it or not but there is no such thing as "true love" before marriage. And you should do tawba for involving into haram relation before married specially zina. 

    Thirdly, she betrayed with you it's not good but it's not your duty to punish her nor punish that other man it's up to Allah to judge. But alhumdullilah sahaytan couldn't win you this time otherwise you would be doomed. By now I am sure you understand that it's sahaytans trap. 

    I would suggest you to start your daily prayer if you don't. Do visit mosque and spend your time over there aswell. Ask for Allahs forgiveness and stop think about someone who was not even serious about you so it's time to think about yourself only. Remember we Muslim think our whole world is Allah no one els remember that. Allah is with us from birth to death on every second without Allah we wouldn't even excise. And tell your family to look for a spouse for you and marry and live your life as a normal human being. I will post you a story later on.

    • Jazakallahu khairan for your wonderful advice sister, i will keep it in mind. I dont want to get married sister, i just feel like i want to be alone forever. I cant see me marrying another girl and spending a happy life together. I shared everthing with her like how we walk, how we talk, how we should raise our kids etc.. how can i ever say those same things to another women.. how can i even touch another girls hand for i've lost everything to her. Thats what sickens me the most.

  7. i think the editors will tell u about what duas u should recite , but bother after reading ur post i felt so sad. i almost felt all ur emotions, even jealousy. it is very natural for u to feel them all. For some1 who has loved so much i think this should feel like a perfect nightmare.. but brothrr u have made some horrible mistakes or should i say that u have committed some grave sins. my job as an adviser should b to bring them to ur notice so that u fell guilty for them and repent.

    i dont have to mention zina in the first place coz u know that already, bt im not sure if u regret it b'coz u feel cheated by her or u r aware of how much it weighs on the scale against ur good deeds. give that a good thought first and repent. secondly as i said that jealousy is natural in ur case but what u did with it is not justified. u exposed the sins of the girl to that other boy and her mum and u exposed urz as well in the process. obviously non of those people reacted so u didnt get kind of drama and action u desired but its not about her punishment we r concerned of as much as urz. brother never do that again. Allah says that he will forgive those who will hide their sins and He will conceal the sins of those who will conceal other people's sins. so b careful about that next time.

    keep ur anger under some check bro. u r obsessing over the idea of hurting her and though u r good and dont intend to do it, u never know when the shaitan will convince u and u will spring into action. get involved in some vigorous activity that requires sincerity and discipline. like join a sport's club, and get trained or join a gym and hire a personal trainer for a specific program or something. counselling is mandatory in ur case. seek professional help. watch religious videos and get regular with ur prays. they will help u realize the temporary nature and worthless love of this duniya.
    learn a lesson from this relationship. understand that this has come to u from Allah not the girl. u have disobeyed him so humiliation has come to u even if u would have tried to b on the other side of the relationship. it doesnt mean that if u betrayed some1 u wont get hurt. if u think this girl is going to have fun all her life and live in a castle happily ever after then just chill coz that doesnt happen on this planet. she will face the consequences of her actions for sure.sooner or later depends on how close u r to Allah. when Allah wants u to change he shakes u up to wake u up but when he doesnt love u he will let u do all the haram as much as u want till he can roast u in hell. Allah will find a way to humiliate her as well but u dont have to sit and watch her until then. move on and dont allow urself to become a sadist.

    Next time a girl tells u that her live for u is more than that ocean, tell her " oh yeah? i dont think its even more than a plastic bucket of water. GET LOST!"

    B happy brother. dont damage urself more than she has already done u.

  8. Assalamu allaikum. I don't have much time but I just wanted to ask you one question. If you're under this much pain just because a girl who was not your wife left you, how are you feel when everyone dear to you leaves you after they put you in the grave? What are your answers going to be when munkar and nakiir question you? Better yet what are your answers going to be when you stand in front of Allah Azza wa jala when he asks you how you spent your time on the earth? Certainly, I sobbed for a beautiful girl whom I had a intimate relationship with before marriage will not be the answer? my brother in Islam, this dunya is temporary and if you keep in mind where you will end up, you would certainly not lose a tear for the worldly desires. I urge you to make ablution, to fall in prostration and ask Allah the most merciful to forgive you and guide you to the straight path inshAllah. Next time inshaAllah, when you lay your eyes on someone; keep marriage in your mind. Don't contemplate the idea of having a girlfriend. Respect yourself because when we respect ourselves we don't throw ourselves in trash cans. And also respect your sisters in Islam, keep their faults hidden and don't make false accusations against them. Allah will cover your faults for you on this earth, underneath it and on judgement day inshaAllah. Wasalam

    • wow, mashallah a well-written response!

    • Wa Alaykum Assalam,

      Wonder full reply. I learned one lesson through this. Alhamdulillah

    • Assalamu alaikum Sorry for the late reply brother, i dont know how can i reply for this without my heart hurting so much. "Next time inshaAllah, when you lay your eyes on someone; keep marriage in your mind". I am not this kind of person who looks on to other girls with lust. I just had some kind of feelings towards her that i cant explain. I wanted to marry her, i even spoke with her and her mum and my mum about our possible marriage… but she left me. Yes i know i spoke some thing about her that i should have never did. You dont know my regret bro. I pleaded her saying i dont want u to come back but atleast forgive me for hurtin u with my words, as usual no reply and i dont expect her reply either. But at the same time i dont want to continue the text contact with her so i stopped it. Still i cant forgive my self so i started doing some charity on behalf of her so that if Allah wills she can take thoose good deeds and leave me alone in Akhira. I dont know what else to say. Just find some space in ur heart to understand my situation i was in. I am just a nirmal guy who made a mistake by letting my heart to love the creation instead of creator and paid a big price. So i am askin u a solution … what can u suggest me for my situation should i have to call her again and plead her for her forgiveness? Or i leave this issue with Allah… let him forgive me. But i dont understand one thing. In this society if a boy cheats a girl then he is bad unjust and cruel and whatever the words we put in fits for him, but if the girl does the same thing and leave the boy destroyed gets no blame. Is that so. I just didnt know at that time so i started to complain to her mum and her new boyfriend in a way to get her back with me not in an idea of exposing her but its still wrong i know. What to do bro.

    • I just… didnt know…i just didnt know

      • Assalamu alaykum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu,

        Brother Muslim Boy,

        I read your post yesterday only, and cried a lot about your situation and also I included you in my Du'as.

        Really I can not believe that a girl can cheat like this, O K past is past and also its very clear that you spoke with her in the intention of marrying her , as I know about tamil muslim family, Because I am also a tamil muslim, In marriage the language will rise as a problem But, you convinced your mother also.

        But you know make one point clear, If ALLAH will is not there , how much ever we try also we can not succeed .

        You asked forgiveness from her for your shortfalls, But she did not replied, Submitt the matter to ALLAH and say Alhamdulillah, and also whenever you remember about your sins ask ALLAH to forgive you and beg for his forgiveness.

        Look Brother in this world, whatever happens its for our own good and ALLAH knows better what lies a head in future,

        You know due to some problem in my life I was completely depressed for 9 months, Yesterday morning I typed in this site as a broken heart to get releif , MashaALLAH I saw your post and Alhamdulillah I saw many advices which was useful to me also, I thanked ALLAH because I am not in a critical boat where the brothers and sisters are facing and also Its a good place to share islamic advices May ALLAH bless all brothers and sisters who help other brothers and sisters.

        After reading your post still I became close to ALLAH ( the London women story)

        So say Alhamdulillah and Because ALLAH has kept some good plan for you, Whatever happens in this world, happens according to "Qada Wal- Qadar" which has to be accepted without any complaints and with dependence on him alone , and also prayers and hopes for the future.

        Don't contact that girl again, she cheated you, You was true to her, But she left you so do not worry, Spend your time with ALLAH and take care of your health .
        Allah has given you every thing in life like, food, water, good cloths, shelter, caring parents, sharing islamic friends, and also more than all your a muslim, Thankful to ALLAH SWT for the blessings from your side, We must always be thankful to ALLAH for the blessings still being enjoyed by us

        I want to tell you once again don't ever think to contact that girl once again.

        May ALLAH give you a wife, who should understand you from your depth of the heart and, support you in every walk of life and respect you, your talent and your parents, May ALLAH give you a very best religious girl in this world and hereafter.
        May ALLAH ease all our affairs and forgive all of us and guide us to the straight path Ameen!

        Fee Amanillah

    • i wish i can take all back and live a happy life without any regrets. The life i had 2 yrs back… but its too late. Dear Akhila sister u asked me how i am doing nowadays… Alhamdulillah sister just they sav y that everything happens for reason… i experienced it… i am so happy that this heartbreak brought me close to Allah and whatever i am doing nowadays is only for Allah's sake… i dont want to ruin anyones life so i am just rejecting all my marriage proposals and trying to stay single and helping others for the rest of my life. Jazakallah for ur duas for me sister…
      But i wish i never saw this post heart already started hurting. Just dont know y … stay happy sister dont ever fall in this shaitan's love trap. See what it lead me to. Wassalam. "Inna salaathi wa nusuki wa mahyaka wa mamathillahi rabbil aalameen" 6:162

      • Assalamu Alaykum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa- Barakatuhu,

        Dear Respected brother in islam,

        Basically I am a girl who will share my problems and personal with only ALLAH, but here I think to give my own experience as example,

        I am a tamil muslim, Born and brought up by a religious family, you know still my degree I was completely like a butterfly, After my degree I went to my native from bangalore to get marry, Again I refused marriage because to do a master degree and Again I came back to bangalore to continue studies, My religious family not allowed me for further studies any how I appointed as a teacher in islamic management school, Again by the grace of ALLAH I joined in master degree as per my wish ( Distance study)

        In my school place I met one urdu speaking muslim person who is Quran E Hafiz, plus Ayurvedic Doctor, he proposed me through my school management, I told them to speak with my parents, They came and spoke with my parents , my parents were very affraid to give me marriage to a urdu speaking person , Later It was stopped, But that person started contacting me and spoke with me that He want a girl like me in his life, Even I started liking him for the sake of ALLAH due to only one reason he is a Quran E hafiz,

        Shaitaan played in my life I went to a break point, By hurting my parents and rejected good proposals from my native because of that person, I started speaking in phone with him for seven months day and night , ( ALLAH should forgive me) In my life he was the first person I spoke closely, We texted and cald thats solve. ( that too a big sin only , to speak to a non mahram)

        When my parents rejected him , I also rejected, But he begged me and changed my mind, and made me to hurt my parents like anything

        Later days past, He said he will wait for me, and he will beg with ,my parents and He told me to force them and get marry with him, And also He promised on the name of ALLAH that he will never leave me, So only I spoke with him through phone, But he left me and now speaking to another girl, I came to know through my Princi But his answer was shocking, When I asked He told me, He selected another girl, because my parents are not agreeing ( from the begining they have not agreed, but he only forced me to fell in this and told he will handle everything, But He left me)

        Do you know , Because of him, I lost my teaching job, my master degree , My self respect among my family members, and also I rejected my marriage good proposals through many way,

        I lost my health , peace and finally decided to go to ALLAH also, and I got so many negative thoughts but by the grace of ALLAH, after reading two stories yesterday, I became O K Alhamdulillah ( one is yours and another one is Helpless 25 story I saw Sister Z's advice and changed my self completelly)

        he was not true to me, He left me suddenly and now speaking to another girl, Thank ALLAH I did not get any big loss, Many good people supported me, after he left me, I felt that I should go to a mental hospital, But because of ALLAH i am here and learned a lesson for life time to never cross ALLAH's bounderies

        After this incident only I became very close to ALLAH, and I begged for forgiveness from ALLAH , for speaking to anon mahram guy for seven months,

        It was my big mistake in my life, I realised importans of my parents and accepted marriage also, Now InshaALLAH i am going to get marry.

        You know, I never felt so close to ALLAH as I now feel, So I am saying Alhamdulillah for whatever happend, Because I came to know his true color, and I performed Istiqara for seven months completely, so the final decision in this Issue was ALLAH's and now I am leading a very happy life ,

        when I cried in the middle night by calling my Rab , really I got peace,

        Since we all are human beings liable to commit blunders, He committed blunder to me by leaving me , Its not mean that we should become anger, By having a big heart we must pray for them, Still I am praying for him, As though i am praying for my self, This is giving me peace,

        I have given my own story as an example, Please accept marriage, In islam its not permitted to be single, see I wasted my one year because of un wanted thing

        So brother you submitt everything to ALLAH and accept marriage,

        InshaALLAH i will get a good reply,

        May ALLAH forgive all of us and guide us to the straight path , Ameen!

        Fee Amanillah

        • Wa Alaykum Salam Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa- Barakatuhu,

          I am so much happy that..that kind of man left you . He do not deserve a girl like you. Nowadays i dont know why most of the people are into islamic studies they call themselves hafiz and so on but lack basic morality.. i ve seen a lot. Your words are so comforting my dear sister. Thanks for your wonderful and most valuable advice. Jazakallah for your duas and please continue to do it 🙂 i need it badly... InshaAllah I will be okay with Allah's grace. Regarding the marriage... I dont know sister how i am going to do it. You know we people normally in southern part have this kind of thing in our mind like if we loved or lived with someone we hesitate to go for another.. i am just that kind of typical southern guy. Anyways lets see what Allah's plan for me is. Whatever it is it will be awesome. Then do update us regarding your marriage.. I will be very much happy to know that you got a pious man who treats you like a princess.

          Recite this dua sis..

          "Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata A'yunin waj'alna lil-muttaqina imama."

          "Our Lord! grant us in our mates and offspring the joy of our eyes and make us patterns for those who guard against evil." (25:74)

          May Allah be with you and bestows His mercy upon you and your family.

      • Now By the grace of ALLAH, I am in make point.

  9. I felt disgusted when reading what you did to her as someone i trusted did that same thing to me after i had to break up with him. i.broke up with him after trying for a year to convince my parents..i told him i told i wild never run way with him and that my parents would have the final.say ....afterm we broke up he did the same things as you did...told my family.everything amongst.other stuff ..... You DON't love her. Cuz if you did you wouldn't her sins to her mother or her woulnt t try and badnaam her a ruin her life. What you wouldn't did is DON't hurt the person you want to protect them and want them to be happy DON't care about her. Move on. Leave.her alone . She is free to be with who she wants to be with who....don't make it your mission to ruin her life...don't you dare throw acid on her face! Leave her alone. ..Be a man...not a loser who tries to ruin other ppls lives. You right over her have. No right to do anything to i hope I have no managed to get through to you have. I got really really mad reading what you wrote.

    • Am not being rude to you at all "M"
      This guy was in love, and betrayal is easy to say hard to get over, what he thought is natural, everyone does it… dont lower his self esteem by telling him he's wrong etc… he's absolutly right… he dint throw acid on her face and am sure he woudnt even do that… allah watched that girl and he knows better…

      • i think we r missing a point here juweriya. what m is trying to say is that she been in a situation like that b4 where she had to breakup coz of family pressure unlike this girl but what this brother did was something even that boy did to sister m. going around and telling people abouy what the 2 of them did is just maligning the girl. this is just revenge and it is definitly NOT OK.
        if some1 is hurting because of betrayal is one thing and he is entitled to get the support and sympathy but also keep in mind that boyfriend and girlfriend relations have no legal commitment or support as such hence both the parties r free to move out as and when they please. No one is technically tied up in any bond, which is the main reason y all this is haram. coz u invest everything without any guarentee.


        such a shock should wake us up and turn to Allah for relief.

        • Apple Green: That is exactly what I meant.

          Juveria: you can't be in love if you're having thoughts about throwing acid on the persons face...wether he went through with it or not. He went out of his way to shame her infront of her family...what kind of that????! He hasn't got a clue what love is. .And i have no sympathy for someone who goes out of his way to hurt someone who...and after telling the mother did he think they would welcome him with open arms into their family ?? Im sorry if you think Im.being nasty but i have been on the receiving end of this and it is horrible!! Noone deserves to be humiliated like that .

          • He is human sister/brother I mean like throwing acid or killing because the feeling of helplessness possess you when you're going through with such emotional pain.

            But it's only thoughts and after sometime you realize and try to find what was the reason or just ask ALLAH

          • Well i had to tell something about that.. What i know about love!!?.. Well sister i know nothing about that... All i know is that in love there is no separation even if you feel something is wrong you strive to make it right. Its not like ''for a while lets play'' or saying like see my love - lets have every dream and every hope to be together and lets share our love for eachother and if things doesnt go well with my family then lets part our ways and lets just forget everything happened like a bad dream. No no no.. .it may be easy for you but for me sis its all i've got.

            I lived for her each and every single minute.. prayed for her and still i am praying for her. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW i should have never said that to her mum/bf but all i am trying to say is that i was mad,crazy etc Literally.. please free to fill whatever you want.. I ve had much more hurt that what your words could do to me in this forum.

            MashaAllah i am very glad and happy that my little sister with frowny face a couple of months ago is all smileys and advicing me now to overcome difficulties. May Allah SWT gives you a good life and health sister.

            @applegree @juweriah
            As i told a lot of changes happened for me, its been 5 months i came here and you can recall me as ferouze, you can see me posted a comment on sister juweriah's 2nd question in this site.

            The shock did wake me up sister, but with a lot bitterness and disgust. I dont know how all this happened, i wish i could take all back even its upto the point where she said just go and die i am in love with another person and just left her alone without saying anything to her mum/bf but i am not the controller of time unfortunately.

        • Dear Ukhti, I am increasing my relationship with Allah gradually, nowadays when i feel very blue all i think about is Allah, Akhirah and Jannah. If Allah is saying that he will provide the good doers with an eternal home full of happiness then why would i have to worry about this betraying and humiliating world.just be good and repent. If Allah SWT promises any good doers with HoorlEin why would i cry over a girl who left me for the sake of this material world. I know this Bf Gf is not allowed in islam.. but only now i feel the truth that it is forbidden for a noble cause. Thing is i am a wreck now.. trying to build up myself.. and i just got so emotional after seeing lot of posts in this website which made me write myself in this site, but i think i should ve never done that. I shouldve kept it myself so that at least i would not been judged by others wrongly. Anyways what happened is happened. Take care ukhti. Wassalam.


          yes i do agree sister, 2 years we talked so much, text each other so much, i had more than 1000s of messages and some other stuff which she gave me each of them proves how much we were close. The first thing i did after she said just go and die is
          i cried a lot, deleted her pictures with me upto the extent which no softwares could be able recover it.. believe me i am an IT guy i know it, deleted messages, our voice recordings. videos.etc.. so that i might not do those stuffs you said above.. but this only thing i couldnt delete was my memory and the disgust i felt of being with a girl who just betrayed me for another guy, anger, emotions.. Please try to understand me.. there was not such a thing as blackmail ran on my mind.. i really dont know what and why i was calling her mum or went to see that guy. I am unable to really delete it :'-( .. unable to find any software for that.. I really cried to Allah SWT to just delete all the brain cells that might have her memory.. but it never happened. I think he just wanted me to learn from it and never do it again. I learned. I will never do it again In Sha Allah. but still unable to forget her.
          If you still think me of a Blackmailer. .i dont know what to say.. but the revenge that came upto my mind often.. but somehow it all just went with some stupid talking with her mum and bf. Its just because Allah Saved me from it i believe. i would have been really doomed by now if those revenge would have been taken place.

    • Thanks a lot M, it really helped me a lot by adding up more and more hurt, i know i am disgusting coz i did what i shouldnt have done not a single day passes without me regretting for what i ve done. It might be my stupid act of telling her mum and her new boyfriend about our previous relation. Yes i did a mistake I ADMIT IT so what you want me to do now... You know before judging anyone have this in mind.. you havent ever walked in my shoes (May Allah protects you from it) All the things i've suffered from my childhood... this stupid longing for so called love from anyone.. these things made me love sick..

      Do you have any idea about my intentions when i told her mother/boyfriend about that thing happened between us. You dont and you never will understand.. I had no intentions of hurting her.. i just got crazy and i was figuring how will i get her back. I had this only thing in my mind after begging her like some street beggar who is begging for some piece of food.. Keep in mind that i am not at all trying to say i did the right thing but understand me that i swear to God that i was out of my mind literally.
      I was in the hospital for 2 days and barely able to breath..All she said was i dont care even if you die.. and this was even before i told her mother/bf..

      i dont know how you wake up daily but for me its not the sun or the brightness thats waking me up but its this.... her memories and promises which gives me lack of breath early mornings.. exhaustion like as if i ran for 40 miles non stop.. this is the thing thats waking me up daily. I am sorry if i told anything wrong.. believe me in my 25 years of life i've never commited this kind of stupid thing, i've been always nice and polite to others and never ever had any intentions of hurting other.. not even an ant.
      I am sorry sister I just did some stupid thing but as i told you not even a day passes by without me regretting for it and asking Allah SWT for forgiveness for me and for her. Well if you are not yet convinced and still think that i am some rubbish selfish rogue.. I have nothing to say. Allah SWT knows the best.

    • And that Acid part.. i just said i had so many things went on my mind like that.. and just for the record even you know what i thought of kidnaping her, die in front of her, kill that guy, or just repent to Allah and get out of that country and move some where so that i wont be able to even see her and do the stuffs i thought of doing. Now i am in dubai working for an IT company Alhamdulillah.. just for the record i hate acids and i failed a lot in my chemistry labs and i get black outs when i see blood. It was just this crazy thought my dear sister M. I had no intentions of doing it. I just wanted to share my feeling to you guyz so that you may able to help me with something like... duas may be or some good advice that may helpful for me and make myself stand up with self confidence and make myself a pious good muslim boy.. thats it.. but it was different here... you know what i submitted this post 1 month ago and in between i went through several changes and those are from quran.
      Please please please dont ever judge people without knowing who are they and in what position were they in before. If i would have posted it like something convincing and made all the blames and stuff only on her i know i will get good comments but i dont want that.. i realised what i did was wrong.. this dark cloud which were covering my mind and soul just moved recently and i am beginning to see a new light. But it still hurts me that she did that to me.. i just couldnt get her hands off my chest and i can see none but her eyes. Again... it was just the thoughts like anyone in anger and betrayal feel to have. i had no intentions of hurting her physically. . you think that i hurt her emotionally as well.... you know what are all the things she said after i said those things to her mum. I dont want to say because this very hands which you used for slapping me with words would write something that would slap her as well. .. i dont want that.. so please sister dont think i am such a rogue or something worse than that.. Allah knows the best.

  10. Walikum salam wr wb

    "I always said to lot of my friends who take girls for granted and just dump them after having fun with them. .to not to do that and its wrong. I always advice them to have a good.. true.. honest relationship with them.. but they often laugh at me and mock me.."

    Brother whatever you did was because of your character Masha ALLAH that you fought against what was wrong and I appreciate that but saying this

    "Now i am feeling like i wish i were one of those guyz who had just fun and no emotional feelings for the girl."

    is painful because it seems like whatever they did was right thing to do. Sorry I may be wrong.

    And brother whatever you guys have done may ALLAH pak forgive you both (Aameen) and forgive us all and show mercy.

    May be she was infatuated with you? or she just wanted to some emotional when she met you and in a way used you?

    Brother you're not the only one in this world going through with this problem there's a lot of people who are goin' through with such emotional pain; some are girls and some are boys.

    Brother I really do know how it feels, & you just can't cope up with it that easily it'll take a lot of time may be some years.

    Brother I don't know weather it's right thing or not but you should tell your family to search a bride for you and do Nikah and try to give her attention and try to love her share your emotions with her, and she will not go-on with some other guys cauz she is rightfully yours and you're rightfully hers.

  11. you know what brother you're the kinda guy every girl wants.every good girl wants her husband to be loyal honest and committed like u. that girl doesnt knw what shes lost .but this is the reality of life good people end up with good people of their own kind.she isnt a gud humanbeing money status is evrything for her whereas u are a person who holds moral love n relationships higher than these material things.u will inshaallah get a woman who is like you ,for her love and moral would be more than anything and she will be much more prettier than this pray for u brother.u dont know how many people go through the same feeling. she will see in her future what shes done with u. U should only repent for ur sins ,pray 5 times a day ,avoid contact with non mehram girls and ask ur mother to look for a good muslim girl for u inshaallah with ur and our prayers ur life will become alot better.its just a phase that will pass ,it will take time to heal but put ur trust in Allah .dont think about it ,go towards other activities like sports ,hang out with ur good male friends evrything will fine.dont cry you'l get dark circlesunder ur eyes ,i got them too because of excessive vrying and now theres noway i can remove them:( i also lost too much weight so take care of ur health ,turn towards Allah ask for forgiveness plss dont forget ur sins. ur a very great guy its difficult to find guys with moral and values that u possess ,u will find a better girl. one more thing ..dont let her come back in ur life ever ,dont go after her .she will go through her punishment for Allah knows what shes done.our intense love should only be for Allah love HIM too much. pray for me too. byee:)

  12. All I wanted to say brother from bottom of my heart that STOP thinking about her memories remember ALLAH like you néed oxygen every second it will help you a way lot better trust me. This life is a trial a test an exam from Allah so focus on that you never know when our time is up and we need to face Allah for our marks. Don't think death will remove your anger, sad and so on. Non of us should think we are ready for death it's so much to do before we face Allah.

  13. I want to address 'you' and 'her' separately.

    First, if you feel she broke promises, deceived you, left you for better status, etc then ask yourself - is that really the type of person you want to marry? I'm sure NONE OF US wants to marry such a person. Its just that you did not know her reality before. Now, her reality is known to you, and as tough as it is, you might be FORTUNATE not to be married to her. Would you want somebody with poor integrity and morals being the mother of your children? Sure its tough emotionally, but you may be much better of.

    Secondly, about YOU, while the situation now is difficult you need to realize you made many mistakes as well. Having a girlfriend altogether, EVEN IF YOU HAD NOT GONE PHYSICAL, was still impermissible let alone committing zina. Start by repenting to Allah. Try to rely on HIM and not others to get you out. Remember, our purpose in life is not to love but this life is a very temporary means and our purpose is to worship Him, this life can end at a moments notice but the next life is eternal.

  14. When we commit these sins and feel betrayal, we all forget the betrayal we committed in the first place to our Creator, Allah swt, the only one worthy of Praise.

    Oh Allah, forgive us for our shortcomings and our sins. Ameen.

    Brother, I pray Allah gives you sabr to move on with your life and realize your true purpose to worship Allah and obey Him.

    When we are in pain due to our errors and can't get passed it, it is because ourselves.

    Hazrat Ayyub AS suffered so much due to the trials but never complained because he was content with all that Allah had given him and he knew that all his difficulties were Shaitaan's tricks to decieve him and weaken his Emaan.

    Do not let Shaitaan weaken your Emaan and distract you.

    May Allah give you success in this world and the next. Ameen.

  15. Move on she isn't worth your tears at all. If she loved you she would out you threw this pain. I think Allah didn't want you to be together because he has someone better out there for you. And who knows she might do the same thing to this other guy as she did to you. So move on pray to Allah to give you a better person to marry not date as gf/bf.

  16. Salam Bro,

    Just tell me what do you do while milk is spilled out during the time you keep it for boiling,

    You don't sit and keep on crying over it rather you clean it up and forgot that incidence.

    Do the same thing.

    By doing this you will be doing a big favor on none but yourself.

    Isnt there a sign in Day and Night....After every night there is day...After every bad times there are good times...learn from your bad times and wait patiently for good times. Never lose hope...
    Its a form of Minor Shirk... Every thing happens with Allahs will...Even this thing...I am sure Allah wants some one better to come in your life dats why he removed this girl from your life...And Shaitan is not letting you forget her...bcoz he loves to see you in pain....

    And Allah knows best....

    We all will pray for you brother...

    Hope dis helps


  17. of course brother i remember u from juweriya's post. feroze right?
    but i also remember that u said, sister although my post is waiting in line for being published i already feel like i have moved on.. or something like that and i said Alhamdolillah brother , we r happy that u have moved on but we'll still wait for ur post. i dont remember the exact words now but if we could go back to juweriya's post again we'll find our conversation.

    what hapnd then? why r u going back to the same phase?

    I sincerely feel that u are a very good boy and u deserve the best in life. Allah has taken her away coz she didnt deserve u so plz move on my dear brother.

  18. i am in the same situation now just like you, my story is 99% same as yours she is a urdu muslim that i am not she dumped me for another guy, i asked for the reason she always said "i dont like you" nothing more than this
    she even said "i dont care even if u die i ll be happy to see u dead"
    last NOV she had a very big family problem so she said me that she is going to commit sucide i stopped her and took her from home for last 5months i was her gaurdian i brought her everything from cloths to tooth brush
    i spent lot of money on her but the thing is i spent more love than money.
    she said that the new is far better than me.
    i am final year engineering student so she said i cant wait for you.

    MUSLIM BOY please help me want need to talk with u please brother i need to talk with u. you are the only one who can understand my feeling coz i am in the same situation like

    i cant belive she has changed she told me 10000 times that she ll not leave me
    i trusted her more than anything
    please help me

    • good boy, sorry to hear about what happened to you. Next time don't put yourself in this situation by getting so deeply involved with a woman who is not your wife. Look for someone kind-hearted who does not take advantage of you and is ready for marriage.

      Wael Editor

    • Assalamu alaikum wa rahmathullahi wa barakathahu..

      My dear brother, I am so sorry for the situation you are in. Since you already know that i can relate to your sorrow and pain 99% i just want to tell you something. It may sound cliche or as usual as others say but its true that "there will be a thing which we might dislike but there is a good in it and there will be a thing which we like but it will be bad for us" Only Allah SWT knows that and we do not.

      The pain i went/going through, the tears in which i got/getting engulfed, the sleepless nights and heartaches ultimately guided me to the One worthy to be loved. ofcourse its Allah sWT brother.

      I will not say that i got completely healed and i am so happy right now.. even yesterday i was unable to sleep and slept after crying and praying in thajood and fajr. I know its not an easy mission to get rid of the person we loved the most out of our heart completely as they did but i sincerely believe there will be In Sha Allah something better for us.. The key here is patience (sabr). By the way i just want to quote from what my beloved brother Wael(the editor) said in one post somewhere in this forum.. "Sabr(patience) is not about suffering in silence", you have to struggle each and every minute to get rid of what keeps us low.

      I am telling you again please try to get rid of it by cutting all the contacts first.. and never do the same mistakes as i did. If you do that you will regret for your life.. Turn to Allah and complain to him. Forgive her, since she is also human and tend to make mistakes. Do dua for her happiness and ask Allah to give her good emaan and ask him to get her out of worldly things ie.. materialism. You have to depend on him brother really.. Again dont even think that i dont understand your problem and just advising like others.. Its the fact i am saying.. I really dont think i might be able to marry anyother women in my life but that is not in my hand.. Put your full trust in Allah.. We cant recover overnight until some miracle happens but i can promise you this.. Be around people with positive attitude, Read ALOT of Quran with translation brother.. and yes... there is this video from a sister called Yasmin mogahed and from brother called "nouman ali khan - Quran's remedy for sadness" watch it . IT really helped me a lot. Our beloved prophets went through severe loss of lives and almost everything in their prophethood. ours is nothing compared to us brother..

      There is always something around the corner that makes me to remember her, how we talked, had good time etc.. but during that time i will just say A'oozu billahi minashaitan ir rajeem.. and start to recite some sooras... It really helps.. Just keep in mind that this world is not a permanent place.. Remember what will be conversation between people in the judgement day.. One of them will ask to other.. .like Hey.. how much time do you think that we lived on the earth.. and the other will reply like. .mmm... well i think not more than half a day or something.. may be even less than half a day.. (Sorry for the rough translation- I forgot where the conversation is mentioned in quran but its there.) but the point i am trying to make is.. strive for which is permanent brother.. Even all the years of our life will be like lesser than 1/2 a day then where will be the memories of your girl and mine will be.. its nothing.. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.!!!! GOT IT.

      I will tell you again.. i cry.... really brother.. i really cry everyday whenever her memories strike me right on my head.. but what we can do.. "INNA LILLAHI WA INNA ILAYHI RAJOON" just hold on to it whenever you get the memories ( shaitaan's waswaas would be the right term).

      Dont ask yourself too many questions.
      Dont ever think about how she will be living with her new bf or whatever.
      Dont ever try to contact her..
      Never fall in love again with any women other than your wife.
      Dont rush to marriage too.. now i know it will be like.. you just need to have someone besides you. but it will go away soon.
      Lot of things to say brother.. Just couldnt write it up..

      Make a habit of memorizing quran.. you know now i know 15 verses of surah qaf.. and memorizing others too.. there is a good tool for memorizing quran in or its i think so..

      I will just end up with a short story from my experience which gave me so motivation..
      I befriended a muslim sister from london in fb.. she used to share a lot of islamic messages, i am usually very open and while i was chating with her i found she is some physiologist or something and i asked her for counsel and she used to give me a lot of positive counsel by giving verses from quran. While we were continuing the chat one day i asked to convey my salam to her husband.. her reply really shook me apart.. She said she is divorced and her husband married her only for getting visa in london. Its not the end.. he also separated her kid from her.. its been 3 years she saw her own kid.. i couldnt speak anything so i just signed out.. praying for her. and after couple of months while asking a doubt regarding some islamic question i asked her when she will go out for walk.. her reply for that again shook me apart.. she said she is disabled.. Allahu akbar...

      Brother the reason i told you about this is see... how people are suffering a lot worse than us.. Even though she is disabled and got divorced and separated for her kid.. her reply was amazing.. she said.. ferouze brother the reason i am disabled only Allah knows.. may be i would have been a bad girl if i were given good legs to walk and might have created mischief.. so Allah made me like this.. and the reason for the separation from my kid.. that may be because it might be Allah's plan for my betterment of my kid... (by the way she had a skin problem too)..

      After hearing this i couldnt stop crying brother.. See how strong the emaan is.. I truly understand your pain. but the most important part here is Have full trust in Allah SWT.. believe in his decree.. by the way What you and i are suffering is not out of any Halal terms.. its because we followed the footsteps of shaitan falling in so called love before marriage with a non mahram women..

      In sha Allah we will get better with time brother.. have full faith in Allah SWT..

      Please forgive me if i ve said anything that is not understandable and If anything good comes out of my answer..All the praise goes to Allah.. and if anything is wrong its totally from my side..

      Dua of umm Salamah..

      Inna lil laahee wa inna ilayhee raji'oon
      Allahumma jurnee fee musibatee
      wakhluf lee khayrun minha

      to Allah we belong,
      to Allah is our return
      o Allah recompense me for my affliction
      and replace it with something better

      This dua really helps me..
      HasbunAllahu wa ni'mal Wakeelu -
      ni'mal Mawla wa ni'man Naseer

      Sufficient for us is Allah, and He is the Best Guardian.
      The Excellent Protector and the Excellent Helper!

      Take care brother.. I will In Sha Allah keep you in my duas.. if you have anything to say just leave me a reply.. Allah loves us more than we could imagine.


    • Sorry for the late reply.. i was in a Project for the last whole month 🙂

  19. Asalamwalaikum Brother. I am really sorry for what has happened and I understand and feel what you must be feeling. You must be thinking, the girl who I loved so much once loved me too and saw me as her everything but how could she move on to like another colleague, right? Sometimes thoughts and feelings can change amongst one another, it happens but you can't stop it. Allah is always looking and always see and understand of why the person moved on, but the pain that she had caused you and brought all your hopes down in shaa Allah, Allah will make everything better for you. Its hard to get up when you have fallen down so low which makes it hard to be able to get up, but you should have sabar (patience) having sabar can make things fall into place, can make Allah be aware that you are being patient and accepting the fact that she has gone. Just remember this, when one door is closed, Allah opens many other doors for us. Keep making dua, read the Qur'an as this can heal broken hearts and whenever you can before you sleep, you can read the Qur'an or even listen to recitations of the Qur'an. Don't beat yourself up about it because it isn't your fault, if you know yourself you haven't done anything to make her go away and fall in love with someone else then don't worry and blame yourself about it because nothing last's forever, sometimes you see the person's true colours sooner or later. Everyone is responsible for their actions and so are you, its good that you didn't do anything bad such as, throwing acid on her face etc. because if you had done then what would it solve? Nothing, we all be in that situation when anger takes control of us but that is shaitan who wants to take control of you to commit a sin which you will regret later on. I hope everything gets better for you in shaa Allah Ameen. Have faith and trust in Allah, always pray to Allah because Allah will listen to you and be there for you in shaa Allah.

    • Wa alaikum salam wa rahmathullahi wa barakathahu..

      Thank you so much for you kind answer jazakallahu khairan, Quran really is healing me Ash786x, as i told to good boy, i still to cry and go through intense pain in my heart but now with more patience and way too in a different perspective. I would have never thrown an acid on her face.. even i dont know where can i get that one.. 🙂 its just some stupid thought went through my head.. as i told in above replies. Anyways i am here now.. trying to mend my broken heart with love for the eternal one.. Hope i will be okay soon..
      Thanks for your reply again.


  20. We make them cry who care for us. we cry for those who never care for us. And we care for those who will never cry for us. This is the truth of life. It is strange but true. Once you realise this, it's never too late to change.

    "I said to Allah that i hate life...,
    Allah replied....Who asked you to love life??
    Just love me &
    Life will be Beautiful"

    Nothing could change the Qadar except Du`a’.:)
    and Allah the one who is control of the hearts, same time Du'a the believer's weapon. So use that specially during Tahujood prayers and Isthihara with good intensions...:) theese 2 prayers it self can change eveything. may b not right now but in sha Allah soon...

    Do Not Lose HOPE, Allah can change the broken pieces into Masterpieces 🙂

    Du'a is everything to change the fate if u wish to do so what ever it is brot. and u know that too!!!

    • Jazakallhu khairan brother..

      • Assalamu Alaykum Wa-rahmatullahi Wa-barakatuhu,

        Respected brother in Islam, I read your story and felt sad, Also remembered you in my Dua's,

        Brother, Say Alhamdulillah, Because after this incident only you became close to ALLAH and learned a great lesson for life time to not to indulge in any bad activities which is forbidden in Islam.

        Allah saved you from a dis honest girl, you came to know her's and her families true color.

        May Allah forgive all of us and guide us to the straight path. Ameen!
        Hope to hearing from you soon about your good condition. InshaALLAH
        Fee Amanillah.

  21. i know that life can be hard at this point. I was engaged to guy for 10 months and I loved him with all my heart and he broke mine I feel just about the same wy as you .. except there was no other girl just one I was not fond of.. look by reading the msgs above I feel like you have guided me into getting over my broken heart .. I just wanted to let you know you are not the only one out there with a broken heart..

    I like that you are using Allah swa as a main guidance to help heal you.. your 25 you said .. my dear you are still young and have time to grow.. your lucky your not a girl .. bc 25 is getting slightly old to get married in our community... but being 26 and having a broken engagement is very tough for me .. but you know what I do is have faith that whatever happened is for the best ... to be honest with you .. I hate when people say it happened for the best .. because I don't feel that way .. but over time I realised that maybe it was.. we were hurting each other and that's not right.. see we both loved each other deeply but that's the problem when you fall to fast you forget to check the hard drive 🙂 lol meaning the heart ... he had a good heart it just wasn't good enough to respect me and love me fully... its really weird sometimes his actions and his words would say he loved me very much and then the times when he hurt me .. all f those actions of love and kindness faded away and all I felt was hurt and betrayal.

    I normally do not publically do this but I read your story and felt you pain b/c it is what I am going through and slowly moving on from right now... if you want to ask any questions please feel free I will gladly try my best to help you... I know what you are going through completely and fully.

    look one last thing I noticed that after I broke up with him I turned to Allah swa 100 times more .. I listen to a lecture by a maulana and he said at some point .. that Allah swa never gives you more then you can handle and he also mention Allah swa loves to see you worship and pray to him and he likes you continuously asking for forgiveness and asking him for whatever you want and he likes to per long it .. so in other words don't give up on your prayers and keep knocking the door of Allah swa and youll see what kind of a girl he brings your way .. just wait inshallah Allah swa is merciful beyond what you and I think 🙂

    • My Dear Sister in Islam Assalamu Alaikum,

      May our creator brings tranquility and contentment to all of us. Ameen.

      It's been long since i visited my post the last time. I pray to Allah SWT that he guides us to the straight path and make us victorious in this life and the Hereafter. Sister i am so happy to see your kind words filling this post. I ve learned my mistakes. Frankly speaking i realized that i used to be a muslim for name sake. If i had ever understood the meaning of "Lower Your Gaze" the words which my creator revealed in his book to the mankind it could have saved me from a heartbreak and all those things i am going through. I disobeyed my Lord.. Forgive me ya Rabb. I did a grave mistake and lost my self esteem almost to the ground.

      I heared in one lecture by Sheik Mufti Menk saying that If Allah loves me and wants to make me a believer and grant me good rewards in the hereafter he gives us trails and tribulations so that we will prostrate to him and start worshiping him more and more. This is really true in my situation.. i was blinded by this so called love by a girl and forgot my Rabb.. May Allah protect us from heedlessness. Now after he took away the haram material from me.. now i am doing more and more sajdas and trying myself to be a better muslim. I am happy about the changes i ve acquired so far from reading Quran, memorizing ayats and listening to lectures.. It really helps a lot. At the same time the waves in my heart is so intense and deep.. sometimes i feel like i am allright and happy but some days i feel lost and get depressed. I believe its shaitan's whispers. Trying to knock me down.. Alhamdulillah so far i ve protected my self from getting too depressed by repeating my self that This world is temporary and The eternal is jannah... and fighting shaitan back by whatever i can get on my heart. So far its working well and for the past last 1 week it got so intense and i started googling about heart breaks and contentment again.. and you know what .. my own post came on the search result LOL... Anyways i am happy to see your message and No Apologies message..

      Thanks NoApologies..May Allah bless you All. I just need some more good company to make myself firm but unfortunately i dont have anyone right now.. My only company now is Allah and good lectures on the internet. In sha Allah.. I hope i will change..

      Regarding my marriage i just need one answer from you guyz.. My mother and father they saw my downfall and rising, they saw me hurt betrayed and crying like a toddler on the floor after the incident happened in my life and they couldnt handle it,, they are coming to me with a lot of proposals but i cant get over it and i am rejecting everything so far.. i told them to give me 4 - 5 years time.. but honestly i dont want to marry.. i dont know whether i will be alright and i will be able to love someone(my future wife) again. In this case can i stay unmarried. Is it ok to be single if you dont have the hope that you will love your future wife and keep her happy. Sincerely i just dont want to spoil/hurt any woman in my life again.

      Jazakallahu khairan.

      • Assalamu Alaikum

        Dear Brother why do u think that u won’t love ur future wife? its totally misconception, just stop thinking like that, u know wht? Right now u need a company and obviously it should be ur wife. Ok don’t try to love her at first as it will make u disgust if u try it forcefully, at first take ur wife as a friend , share ur’s feeling, talk to her lot , spend time with her as much as u can, I m sure inshaallah gradually u will forget ur past and u will love her. Tell ur parents to find out somebody better for u. and why don’t u do the istekharar namaj, I did it lot and I got result. Before 4 month I had relation with a guy, he betrayed to me, I lost myself totally, I cried lot, I hit myself just to forget him, alhamdullilah by this time I got to know about this site and I got to know about the istekhara namaz, I read this namaz day after day every waqt and I asked Allah- if he is bad for my din for here and for hereafter then just turn my mind away from him and alhamdulillah I got rid of this unbearable pain, right now I hv no feeling about him, my parents looking somebody for me to get married. So brother do istekharar namaj as much as u can. Don’t forget that Allah is always with us.

        Jazakallahu khairan

      • Salam Bro,

        Yeah it's hard to get betrayed especially if you should get married, but like I said and I won't ever change my opinion: If someone cheats while you are married, you violate someones right.

        Therefore don't feel bad about marrying, because if your wife should do, then you will get her hassanant in hereafter and repentance will not bring a anything as she needs the partners forgiveness too. So get married my friend and love your wife, that better for ummah.

        Trust Allah and Allah will always be justful to you...

        I will not move on in saying these trues...

        • Salam Brother,

          even you have "lost" this girl, then there's a lot of better women for you that God saved for you. The only thing you should do is, that you must find her.

          1. Ask your parents or friends, if they know someone, who is practicing and so on...
          2. If you both meet, then there must be always be a Wali (Father, Mother should be ok)
          3. Ask her some questions, what she likes, what she doesn't like
          4. Marry her without wasting much money (3000 USD for Mahr + 5000 USD rest perhaps)
          5. When you are married, then always be honest, true and love your wife and expect from her the same.
          6. Communication is very important factor in marriage.
          7. Secrets in marriages are poison.
          8. Accusing someone is poison too...
          9. In Hereafter you can marry your wife again, if you liked her....

  22. Salam Brother Muslim Boy,

    your story is hard, but my story is few level more hard... But somehow your story reminds of my story...You are not alone...

    Let this girl get her way, she will know, what she has lost. She left you for money....Really poor reason.

    Stay strong, do your prayers and find a girl you can marry too.

  23. Assalaamu alaikum brothers and sisters,

    I am the OP and I was happy for few months but suddenly a dream came of her and now i feel this immense pain in my heart piercing all over. I am feeling like as if i will die by suffocation. What can i do

    • Be patient, muslimboy. Have sabr. These feelings lessen in time.

      Wael Editor

      • Jazakallahu khairan Brother.

        I hope so. But seeing people who crush others heart and live happily as if they did nothing disturbs and hurts me a lot. Letting me used and betrayed by this girl makes my heart bleed so much brother. Hope it ends soon

        • @muslimboy From the start it was a haram (forbidden) relation and by getting physical,both of you committed a major sin, I hope you have repented and asked for Allah swt forgiveness. She did not deserve you. People who show tendencies to cheat can never be good faithful spouses. It's going to be really easy to feel as you did something wrong or that you're less of a man. Forget her like a bad nightmare, bury her memories in the dust and surround yourself with friends and family. Keep yourself busy,nurture yourself and ask your parents to look for marriage proposals for yourself.

    • May you be steadfast in your journey in this life. Allah is aware of our pains simultaneously--it is hard to imagine because we can't fathom what Allah has promised in return for our obedience and devotion-- do not belittle this matter by ignoring it--but rather remember that Allah is there with you, inn shaa Allah.

      I hope that the following gives you peace:

      Ibn Taymiyyah writes

      "If man is tested with (unlawful) love but he remains chaste and is patient, then he will be rewarded for fearing Allah.

      It is known from shar’i evidence that if a person remains chaste and avoids haram things in looking, word and deeds, and he keeps quiet about it and does not speak of it, whether by complaining to another person or committing evil openly, or pursuing the beloved one in any way, and he is patient in obeying Allah and avoiding sin, despite the pain of love that he feels in his heart, just as one who is afflicted with a calamity bears the pain of it with patience, then he will be one of those who fear Allah and are patient”.

      "Verily, he who fears Allah and is patient, then surely, Allah makes not the reward of the Muhsinoon (good doers) to be lost”
      [Yusuf 12:90].

      [Majmoo’ al-Fataawa 10/133]

      Not a single part of your pain is ignored by Allah swt - so whatever your affliction and whenever it occurs, immerse yourself in the thoughts of the One Who Created you. May Allah ease your pain, Ameen.

      • Jazakallahu khairan Saba,

        Thank you for increasing my knowledge with that fatwaa. I have to admit that for some time during my initial period of the incident i was not aware of those fatwaas and Allah SWT's command and did some mistakes by chasing, texting and speaking to her mother etc.. but it all happened so quickly. I didnt had any time to think but my anger overtook my patience. I still have the feelings to call, text her but i am asking Allah's help to protect me from doing so. i haven't yet contacted her for more than a year and i am not going to do so. I know i have to b patient but sometimes these feelings comes and makes the wound much worse.

        • Assalam alaikum Brother,

          Brother, I truly that believe that trusting in Allah includes accepting that we ultimately don't know what good awaits us. For us Jannah and seeing Allah are just mere thoughts infront of something that is infintely better -- we can NOT even come close to imagining. I would also suggest to try not to think about what will happen in the end but have faith in Allah. Without a doubt, shaitaan is determined for us to fail and and it can happen by us not putting our trust in Allah that we will find peace and comfort, but the Dunya is not the place for it. So, ironically, we may find comfort in our pain knowing that Allah is aware and we are NOT aware of what awaits us.

          May Allah help you in every way that you need and He knows best. Ameen.

          • I hope it soon ends, now the dream became a daily routine. Especially if i sleep after fajar.

          • Assalam alaikum Muslimboy,

            Trust and Believe in Allah's words. This means also to leave your affairs to him and your worries while you put your best effort in this world. We can't worry about the outcome in this world, but rather we just do our best. In a way, when we worry about the outcome, we sort of suggest that we are in control of any given situation--but think about many things in life that don't go as you plan even when you plan it out to the T. So let the worry of pain lift from your shoulders and try to get out of the way of it. You have to be willing to let it go.

            Just imagine, that Allah swt made a decision to create us and we agreed to come to the world for this test and now we day after day disobey him. It is so easy for us to forget our promises to Allah, but we fret over constantly the broken promises of others forgetting ours to our Creator.

            This world is meant to break and end.

            Remember that Allah swt says: (Al-Quran [29:41])

            The example of those who take allies other than Allah is like that of the spider who takes a home. And indeed, the weakest of homes is the home of the spider, if they only knew.

            Try to redefine your definition of happiness and contentment to include a strong connection with Allah swt--because He is always there for us; whereas when we define our happiness/contentment with people, they may fall short of our expectations (either through betrayal or something that could happen through no fault of their own). If you are content due to Allah--then your contentment will not suffer nor diminish, inn shaa Allah.

  24. Jazakallahu khairan Saba,

    Pray for me :-). I am trying my best to stay within Allah's boundaries. Hope my heart will be filled with love for paradise and Allah instead of these creations.

  25. Salam brother
    U need to tell yourself that she is past stop convincing yourself that you love her. Boost up your morale.
    Attach yourself to the quran completely... study it throughout ur life.
    Have a purpose in life. Be akhirah orientated.
    U are ur only hope

  26. Salam brother
    U need to tell yourself that she is past stop convincing yourself that you love her. Boost up your morale.
    Attach yourself to the quran completely... study it throughout ur life.
    Have a purpose in life. Be akhirah orientated.

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