She married, can I hope for her divorce?
AOA
I WOULD LIKE TO GET ANSWER TO MY QUESTION PLEASE.
NEARLY 1 YEAR AGO SOMEONE CALL ME TO THEIR HOME TO SEE HER SISTER FOR MARRIAGE,I WENT THERE TWICE AND I LIKE THE GIRL.EVERYONE WAS HAPPY BUT HER MOTHER WAS STILL NOT SATISFIED AND SHE DID ISTIKHARA AND SHE SAID SHE DID THIS FOR 4 TIMES AND IT CAME OUT NEGATIVE-
I DIDNT DO ISTIKHARA BUT I JUST SAW IN MY DREAM 2 TIMES THAT A GIRL COMES TO OUR HOME AND HER FACE GOES CHANGED AS LIKELY TO MY SISTER FACE
COULD U ADVICE THAT WHAT CAN I DO AND I LIKE THE GIRL ALOT ALOT NOW -AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER AND THE PROBLEM IS THAT SHE ALSO GOT MARRIED AFTER 2 MONTHS OF MY PROPOSAL WAS NOT ACCEPTED.
THE THING IS THAT I STILL LOVE THE GIRL AND I CANT EVEN EAT PROPERLY, AS I AM IN FULLY LOVE WITH HER .
WE ONLY SAW EACH OTHER 2 TIMES ONLY AND MY HEART BREAKS THAT THEY CALL ME FIRST TO C THEIR SISTER AND THEN THEIR MOTHER TOLD THAT ISTIKHARA WAS NEGATIVE.
SHE IS MARRIED BUT CAN I HOPE FOR HER DIVORCE AND WILL THE SITUATION CHANGE IF SHE GET DIVORCE AND I CAN MARRY HER.
PLZ ADVICE ---
YOUR QUICK REPLY WOULD BE V MUCH APPRECIATED TO my email
THANKX
SHAH
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Assalamu alaykum Brother,
This is why we should not fall in love before marriage. See your situation. What a mess you have put yourself in to?
Falling in love hurts the body, specially the heart and raising in love after marriage gives health to the body, specially the heart.
Regarding Istikhara, I don't know how people judge, they rely solely on dreams and signs which they see and ignore reality at times which is in front of their eyes. Allah knows best. So leave their case to Allah.
Did the Prophet (peace be upon him) do istikhara for marrying his wives? Or did his wives do istikhara for marrying him?
Istikhara is prayer for guidance and the du'aa in it is beautiful, Alhamdulillaah and there can only bebenefit in praying to Allah and seeking His guidance by His infinite knowledge, but the speed at which people get guidance and decide is something that amazes me so much and I feel if they are following their desires, guess work or Allah guidance in real?
Allah knows best what they do and how they chose.
You should not think of the girl now as she is married. Leave her ni her life. The dreams you have, Allah knows best. But I think you saw your sister in mixed face because you may be in some worries about the future of your sister's marriage along with yours and the girl's chapter side by side, which may have resulted in your mind making such images and Allah knows best, I just think this can happen. May Allah forgive if there is any wrong in my thinking. Indeed Allah knows best.
I feel for your brother, I really feel for you, believe me, I know it is very hard for you now to forget her, but trust Allah, he will bring someone else Insha Allah to be your wife, someone who would accept you by seeing "reality" along with Allah's guidance.
Brother the reality now is that she is married. So leave her to live her life. If you want to wait thinking her divorce will happen and she will marry you, brother, this is not Islamic thinking. A Muslim leaves all his matters to Allah and is content with what Allah gives.
If you are granted your prayer, be happy, if not, still do not be sad because it is the will of Allah and to think against the will of Allah is only the work of Shaytaan. So guard yourself from whispers of the Shaytaan. Seek refuge in Allah.
Allah says in Surah Hadiid:
22. Naught of disaster befalleth in the earth or in yourselves but it is in a Book before We bring it into being Lo! that is easy for Allah
23. That ye grieve not for the sake of that which hath escaped you, nor yet exult because of that which hath been given. Allah loveth not all prideful boasters,
So be content. Do not grieve for what escaped you, it was not in your destiny until now. If it is in your destiny, Allah will make it manifest to you in reality at it's appointed time.
My advice to you is read the Qur'an a lot, with translation, this really helps to heal a broken heart, it really does.
I also wrote something about love before marriage, read it carefully, it may be of help for future, Insha Allah:
Muslim men and women cannot be in an intimate relationship without marriage. Being a Muslim, it is not right to have any "dating" or "friendship" going on. It is not right.
Why so? Is it that serious?
Yes it is. It leads to "Shirk" or "polytheism", which is most hateful to Allah. It is a state in which the guy/ girl becomes center of life instead of Allah. People begin to love that person more than they love Allah. They are ready to do anything for that person, but not for Islam or for the cause of Allah. Loving someone with the love which is due for Allah only is as good as associating a partner with Allah.
165. Yet of mankind are some who take unto themselves objects of worship which (they set as) rivals to Allah, loving them with a love like (that which is the due) of Allah (only) Those who believe are stauncher in their love for Allah, that those who do evil had but known, (on the day) when they behold the doom, that power belongeth wholly to Allah, and that Allah is severe in punishment! - Surah Baqarah.
The above verse is for idols, images, in greater sence but also human worship, etc, applies to all objects of worship which a person choses to love with the love which is due for Allah only.
Living life for him/her, he/she is my everything, I can't live without him/her, all these words should be for Allah, but contrarary to this, people use it for their "love". In their ignorance they do not understand what injustice, wrong doing they are doing by adoring someone out of limits. Allah is not pleased with such acts. Yet among our Muslim youth today, guys and girls argue about "love" and "falling in love before marriage", they argue without knowledge. Satan stirs up desires in their hearts, they become attracted to someone and make that person their "goal of life" when Allah alone should be the Goal and these words should not come up in the mind of a Muslim. These are against Islamic principles.
162. Say: Lo! my worship and, my sacrifice and my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the Worlds. - Surah Al An'am.
42. And that thy Lord, He is the goal; - Surah Najm
38. And verily, if thou shouldst ask them: Who created the heavens and the earth? they will say: Allah. Say: Bethink you then of those ye worship beside Allah, if Allah willed some hurt for me, could they remove from me His hurt; or if He willed some mercy for me, could they restrain His mercy? Say: Allah is my all. In Him do (all) the trusting put their trust.
We should repent for falling in love before marriage. Even if we did not touch or do anything, repent for falling in love and turn to seek marriage quickly and if no marriage is happening then leave it and move on in life and hope for the best from Allah.
Surah 23. Al-Muminun
1. Successful indeed are the believers
2. Who are humble in their prayers,
3. And who shun vain conversation,
4. And who are payers of the poor due;
5. And who guard their modesty
6. Save from their wives or the (slaves) that their right hands possess, for then they are not blameworthy,
7. But whoso craveth beyond that, such are transgressors,
8. And who are shepherds of thee pledge and their covenant,
9. And who pay heed to their prayers.
10. These are the heirs
11. Who will inherit Paradise: There they will abide.
You have a way shown by Allah as a believer. Guard modesty, be humble in prayers, shun vain conversations - flirting/ meaningless talks on phone/ dating/ music/songs/poetry - anything which is fruitless in the sight of Allah.
Hope the advice helps.
Salaam,
Your brother.
Brother the lesson you gave about love is absolutely fantastic and thought provoking .
Alhamdulillaah. All praise be to Allah.
As salamu alaykum, brother shah,
Brother Munib has given you an excellent advice, I would add the following,
That kind of love you are feeling that is making you sick is giving you signs that shouldn´t be followed. True Love comes together with joy, acceptance, respect, compassion, forgiveness,...., passion comes together with jealousy, possesion, suffering, as our brother Munib says one brings health and the other one sickness. Stand up and accept she is married to other man, now you have to take a path where you can choose the woman you are called to be with, insha´Allah, but for that you have to prepare yourself, insha´Allah.
What you need now is to get out of that stagnation and live loving Allah(swt) more than you love this woman, the One that deserves all our attention, our most high emotions is Allah(swt), once you have gotten this, you will be able to move on, you will bless her, her husband, you will wish both of them a marriage life full of blessings and you will let them move on without any mental interference from your side, more than that with your blessings, insha´Allah.
Brother, while you are lost in the world of dreams, your life is passing by your side, without you taking advantage of being alive, in fact, a sign of it is that you don´t want to eat.
I would advise you to get up, shake your body, your mind, your heart and move on, and the way to do it will begin with gushl, your prayers on time, being thankful to Allah(swt) to give you one more chance to wake up, recite the Quran, learn from It, recite the Names and Attributes of Allah, read duas to find comfort and Peace in your soul, be in Peace with yourself and with the world around you, enjoy being alive, being with family, study, work, practise sports, keep yourself in good shape and eman and you will see how the colour of your life changes, insha´Allah.
And first of all, smile from your Heart, practice everyday, until everyone that come close to you, says Salam to you with an inner smile, giving you back the Love, Respect and Peace that you are breathing and sharing with your Presence, insha´Allah.
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor