Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to take a Shia lady as second wife, please advise?

second wife Hi, I am already married and wanna marry again with a shia lady, what shuld i do. Kindly tell me and me deeply in love with her.

- Usman M.


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14 Responses »

  1. AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother,

    You are going to be dealing with two wives plus children from both sides. So how are you going to have the enough time for your children from your Shia wife and make them have solid Sunni education??? Think about this first.

    • brother Issah, you are so cool!
      you always say exactly what i want to say and that also sooo precisely. i always learn from your replies how to say maximum in minimum words.
      jazakallah khair

      • You are deeply in love with her????ASTAGHFURILLAH!!!!!!!! second wife doesn't mean you can have a love affair and then marry her!!!! You should stop meeting her unless you two are not married!!

  2. Ass Salam o Allaykum,

    The same question i also want to ask, if we are interested to merry a shia girl than would we have to bring that girl in Islam before marriage or we muslims can merry her as we propose any muslim girls, the reason of asking is usually shia and sunni have different accepts and somewhat according to sharia we don't agree shia's i some matter, so pls suggest what's the best way for marriage with shia....?

    Regards
    Saeed

    • the best way is ....... DONT marry if you think there is a conflict in basic islamic believes.

      a great detail have been discussed on this website previously on this issue.

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    Prior to making any firm decision, there are a few questions that I think you might want to consider:
    - Why do you want to marry this woman? Is it for the sake of Allah, or to satisfy yourself?
    - How have you got into a position where you are so close to a non-mahram woman that you feel deeply in love with her? Have you behaved in an Islamically appropriate way? Has she? What does this say about you both and your relationship?
    - What does your wife think about this? How would she feel about you taking a second wife - some women have very strong feelings about this?
    - Have you considered the spiritual differences between you both - this might be a source of conflict and difficulty, especially if you have children together?
    - Have you considered the legal issues? Many countries will not permit a man to be legally married to more than one woman, meaning that any other wives would not have the legal rights and provisions granted to the first wife.

    Remember to pray for Allah's guidance, and ensure that any actions you take are in accordance with Islamic principles.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

    • Waalaykum Ass Salam,

      Actually its my mistake that i haven't informed you what's the reason of asking this question, excertly i don't know anyone personally but lots of proposal come for my younger brother (mostly from shia's family background) and my entire family doesn't agree, although shia boys usually prefer to get merry to sunni woman, (I have more than 10 examples within my office) and muslims girls parents agree due to no proposals were for their girls, so my question is regarding weather a sunni man can merry a shia woman if yes than how or he may face any restriction from society or religion and if not than what's the best way....? as both are so called muslim as what's i know that superior is that among muslims who have fear of Allah and doesn't deceive anyone deliberately or unconsciously, doesn't do shirk, (allow anyone same rights with Allah).

      Regards
      Saeed

      • Assalaamualaikam

        As far as I am aware, there isn't a ruling forbidding marriage between Shia and Sunni Muslims; although the differences in beliefs and religious practices could cause difficulties so it would be important to think about this in advance. For example, would one spouse expect or require the other to change, eg. would your brother want his wife to become Sunni? would the children be raised as Shia or Sunni? what would happen with the religious differences - would both spouses practise these aspects separately, or would one be expected to change?

        If your brother is interested in considering marrying a girl who is Shia, it would be important for him to discuss the matter with his family and an imam from his mosque, as well as, in a halal way, asking the girl what her views on it would be.

        Midnightmoon
        IslamicAnswers.com editor

  4. Everyone has made valid points. You have to make sure this is not simply infatuation, and that you are not behaving improperly with this woman or lying to your wife, and that you have the financial ability to take care of a second wife, and all the important points raised by midnightmoon.

    With that said, it is permissible in Islam to marry a second wife. It does not imply selfishness or a lack of integrity. You cannot demonize someone for doing something that is allowable in our religion.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. Salam,

    Marrying up to 4 wives is allowed in Islam. But I often wonder a man has to be very rich to marry more then one wife. Especially in a western country. A house or a flat costs an arm an a leg. Imagine having to buy four flats and paying for four families. When does the man go to work and when does he spend time with two families? And then giving time to kids, taking them park, mosque etc.

    These days people do not even have time for one family. Wouldn't the wives feel like a single mother most of the times. She will just have a part time husband once or twice a week. Rest of the time she is alone. She will not be able to work because husband is with other family and babysit.

    So brother you will have to provide financially 100 percent for both families. What about living arrangements, work, rota, bonding with the kids. Are you going to be able to give quality time to everyone.

    In future if you wish to take 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife, seek them islamically not by having haram relationships or contacts. Also please be honest and open with your wife about your intentions. This will iradicate any problems later on.

    • Salam,

      I have gone through the comments of different persons, according to their own will and knowledge they explain and that is good, where as concern of Islam permission...
      M. Khan

      [Editor's note: If you wish advice, please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way your question can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

      • Salaams,

        Islam was sent as the final guidance through Prophet Muhammad SAWS for all of humanity, for the rest of time. It is the same guidance sent by previous prophets such as Moses, Jesus, and others (peace be upon them all) which was lost or corrupted after their times.

        There have been non-Muslim and pagan societies before, during, and after the time of every prophet (except Adam, of course). That being true doesn't negate the message or practice of Islam, which any believer is able to do to some degree no matter what type of culture they live in or their ethnic background.

        -Amy
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. If you are sexually involved with that Shia girl you should marry her. Talk to your wife and tell her the whole story. I am sure you told the girl you are already married.

  7. Dear

    If you want to really marry please go ahead, if you want to ask ask a neutral real schollar, not these novices who think they are qualified to answer such a question if it is allowed in sharriah to marry Ahle kitab then shia is just a fact of islam.
    And who are these to judge who is a better muslim? Allah SWT is the most mercifull and the ultimate provider if he allows you to marry 4 then he shall make you apt to be a leader of 4 families.
    Marriage is a holly act and safeguards us against sins, and it would best to love and marry and be thankfull that the All Mighty Allah SWT selected you amongst those who love. Rather than being animals.
    All that you need to be sure is that the lady is a practicing muslim and will accept your previous wife and not force you to part ways with her.
    You do not need anyone's permission but the Raza of Allah SWT. But please do not say the novices have made valid points most of tgem seem highly prejudiçed, for which they shall answer, Insha Allah. Really asking somebody to go against a sunnat and something allowed in Sharriah is painfull enough, but to label someone as a nonmuslim is really pathetic.

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