Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Shocking divorce after miscarriage, will I meet my unborn baby in Jannah?

heaven paradise Jannah

Salam to team of zawaj and my dearest colleagues who responded me before ("I still love my ex-husband and want him back") and who will respond me again.

I married to a doctor who was out of family. He divorced me just after my 5 week abortion. I gave him much tensions but I also loved him a lot.
I am really going through a great trauma and yet unable to forget my past. I am getting worst menstruation cycles after my medical abortion, meaning one cycle in every two months. I do not know whether Allah almighty has punished me or made me free of ex.husband. I am unable to accept reality but my ex husband did so wrong with me. What's the punishment for him as he divorced me in writting thrice on stamp paper?

He just left me for offspring because I got abortion and now I am alone and he has married thrice. He left first wife and divorced her when she was only 18 and no child was born to first wife also. Then he did not tell me about first marriage and divorce. he divorced me after one year of my marriage just in age of 28, after my first abortion of 2 months. Then he married third time. I have heard that her third wife is pregnant but I m not sure about this but why it happened to me all this.

What will be the reward from Allah for me? Will i get life with my ex husband in hereafter? Will I be given my unborn baby in hereafter? being muslim I need your help please, thanks.

I really don't want to remarry now as I loved him a lot.  I just want this husband and my child in hereafter. The women who are divorced and do not remarry, will they get their  husbands? My exhusband said to  me that you gave me much tensions thas why I left you, but he never recoinciled, even never talked to my parents about divorce etc. just few days after divorcing me he married thrice again to his family woman. I want to do halal even for him but he has married now with someone else. How can I get him? How? in this world or in aakhirat? if I never remarry will I get my ex-husband in hereafter? I shall be really  thankful to you if you guide me. I am really in grief.

I want to know to  about miscarriage in Islam. I remained pregnant (stopped three monthly cycles) for three months. But I had delayed menses problem before marriage so you can say I would be stopping two menstrual cycles in my pregnancy. But it was a failed pregnancy as doctors saw a gestational sac of 6+ weeks on ultrasound but there was no embryo in it. It was a blighted ovum in medical terminology. So I lost my this unborn child just at 7 weeks or so...just two months. Later I got D & C (abortion).

Now as there was no baby seen in my abdomen, I would like to ask will I get my child in janat? I have heard that miscarried children will drag their mothers towards janat. But it is also said that those unborn babies must have attained the age of 4 months or above because soul is put in it. So is that hadith applies to my case also as I also miscarried my unborn child due to some medical faults but I really felt him in my abdomen when I conceived. But it was less than 4 months age and surely no soul came in it.... if i am not on fault.

So will this child be resurrected in hereafter? my husband divorced me just after this shocking miscarriage. I went in two traumas. Please, guide me that will this child meet me in janat. Is its soul has gone to janat if not came at earth or in my abdomen. What islam says about such miscarried babies who do not have any existence or with no definet shape. Being mother I really loved him and wanted him to come but God gave him to me and then take him away from me. Please, guide me about this.

- irumhayat


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11 Responses »

  1. My dearest sister Irum,
    It appears that you are kind of stuck in your trauma and not even allowing yourself to move on.
    You probably do need to start seeing a thearapist but even before that, you need to want to heal. and get better.
    I came across this wonderful video at suhaibwebb blog.
    Hardship and Path to God
    http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/purification-heart/hardships-and-the-path-to-god/
    Loving someone and wanting someone is not a bad thing in itself but when it become obsession, it impairs your vision and makes you lose grip on reality.
    Grief is a natural process. RasoolAllah SW had two of his son die at very young age, he cried, he mourned and then accepted it as Allah's decree. If we are not moving beyond that state of mourning, we are being unjust to ourselves. Plus it doesn't produce any desireable outcome.
    As everybody commented to your earlier post, forget about that waste of space, your ex-husband, leave the matter of your unborn child in Allah's hands and start the process of moving on.
    In Jannah, people are with who they love.

  2. As salamu alaykum, sister Irum,

    You have received beautiful comments in your previous post and now, you have received other beautiful, loving comment from Sister UmmSarah, I am not qualified to answer your questions, but I would like if you don´t mind to share this with you, related to this words:

    " I do not know whether Allah almighty has punished me or made me free of ex.husband. I am unable to accept reality but my ex husband did so wrong with me. What's the punishment for him as he divorced me in writting thrice on stamp paper?"

    You feel punished and you want punishment for your ex-husband. The Names and Attributes of Allah(swt) and I don´t find anywhere that Allah(swt) punishes, you have gone through a test, a tough one, abortion and divorce at the same time, two big loses, I have you in my Heart and I acknowledge your suffering, and I acknowledge too your deep pain is taking you to wish his punishment, but you don´t deserve that weight on your shoulders, revenge is poison for the Heart, it will keep your wounds open and unable to heal. You don´t want that in your life.

    Right now, in my personal opinion, I wouldn´t look for answers or rewards, I would do my best to get out of this struggles, at the end or maybe in the way, you will find the answers, insha´Allah, but you have to focus, to get out of this, in the main reason why you and all of us go through struggles, we are being tested, Alhamdulillah, we are so important to Allah(swt) that our relationship with Him(swt), our bond to Him(swt), our Heart is being tested, then focus on what is really important, He(swt) knows everything and your suffering has a meaning, love beyond suffering and you will learn what is Unconditional Love and you will be able to forgive with Allah(swt) help and you will be able to think about your ex, his wife and the new baby with love in your Heart, you can get this, because you deserve the best and you wish the best for everyone involve in this situation, insha´Allah.

    It will take time once you decide to take the path of healing (submiting to Allah(swt), forgiving, unconditional love and respect, compassion, acceptance, taking care of yourself...), insha´Allah but once you do this, you will be closing the door of past and opening the door of present creating the life you deserve to live( marrying again, having children, enjoying being alive, smiling, giving life to new dreams and situations,....), insha´Allah.

    About your baby, I would have a moment of inner quietness, specially created to let him/her know all my feelings about him/her, I would like to make him understand what happened and I would thank him for making me so happy the time I thought he was with me and that I want the best for him, that I don´t blame him or anyone for my loss, that I let him go in the Hands of Allah(swt), and I would pray Allah(swt) to take care of him and myself, .... this may take you a time, doing it from all your Heart, will help you to heal, insha´Allah.

    I am sorry for not being of more help, may Allah(swt) ease your suffering and guide all of us to the Straight Path, insha´Allah.

    All my Unconditional Love, Respect or Support,

    María
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Mariam

    Alsalam Alaikum

    In the 99 names asmaa Allah alhusna there are names that do revenge.

    1 -Aljabbar - To compell or rebuke - to restore to original state. we say in arabic Allahuma ijber kaserna "Oh Allah restore whats broken. Aljabbar is also Most powerful, We say when opressed that Allah huwa aljabbar ala min thalamna - Allah is the more powerful on the ones whom have wronged us.

    2-المنتقم Al-Muntaqim The Avenger - That says it all Allah the avenger whom takes our revenge.

    We may call on Aljabbar Almuntaqim.
    Twice in my life when I was opressed I called on his names and I was humbeled by his justice that I prayed for the ones whom opressed me, because the revenge was taken out on theyre loved ones and through them the opressors suffered.

    More importantly Irumhayat, whatever hardships befall you Allah is either testing us to hear our calls to him because he loves us or he is cleansing us of our sins. Kul amr bani adam khair
    All childrens occurances is good for us.

    When Rassoul Allah Mohammed pbuh was persecuted from Taif he made a lovely dua, i often read it but i wont risk misquoting just in case.

    We have nothing to do but practice Sabr - Patients and turn to him and this is the hard part even HARDER than the hardship we suffered from, because shaitan plays his tricks here in making us loose faith and give up hope in Allahs mercy. This is the real test.

    Im tested everyday and it is a struggle and without Allahs mercy I have nothing

    • The story of Taif really is a beautiful one. After being beaten severly, the Prophet (sws) made this dua as he walked out of Taif:

      "O Allah! I complain to You of my weakness, my scarcity of resources and my humiliation before the people. O Most Merciful of those who are merciful. O Lord of the weak and my Lord too. To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair? So long as You are not angry with me, I do not care. Your favour is of more abundance to me. I seek refuge in the light of Your Face by which all darkness is dispelled and every affair of this world and the next is set right, lest Your anger or your displeasure descend upon me. I desire your pleasure and satisfaction until you are pleased. There is no power and no might except by You."

      He(sws) was told by two Angels that they would crush the people of Taif between two mountains, if he(sws) just gave instruction to them. But instead he(sws) chose in favour of those same people who had beaten and humiliated him. Hence, he replied to the Angels: 'No, I hope that these people will one day come to worship only Allah and Him alone'?
      http://o-muhammad.blogspot.com/2006/02/muhammad-in-taif-by-luqman-ali.html

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. What is ur ex husband upto? Im sorry but he looks like he is on a marriage and divorce spree. The problem is not with u. U r so traumatized that u cant think straight. This man has issues and whatever they r he in not right for any woman. Sister it was a miscarriage Allah decided to take the baby away b4 he would come into this world and it is all for a reason. He sees the things that u dont see coming at u. We have to accept it. I dont remember where i read it but it said that there is no loss as great as the loss of a child and when Allah takes some little soul away he asks his angels what did the parent say after the loss? If the angels say that he accepted ur will then He rewards the grief stricken parent with bounties in abundance.
    get urself checked. Find out what could b the possibilities behind the miscarriage so that they could b avoided in future. Give ur body some time to heal. See an endocrinologist. They r hormone specialists, there is possibly a hormonal imbalance due to this occurance or vice versa. So take rest. Try meditation if u know any good yoga institutes. Yoga works wonders in such cases. Make sure ur family is there to take care of u. Dont b on ur own. Write down ur feelings and talk to some1. Forget this man plz. He doesnt love u. If he would have then he would have felt sympathy for u. his behaviour is extremely selfcentered. Say Alhamdolillah and move on.
    as far as the concept of children uniting with their parents in jannah is concerned Allah will surely give u the best. The rest is all gaib. He has not revealed everything so he might or might not but the point is that he has promised u eternal bliss and he does not break promises sister. If u believe in akhirah just the thought of eternal bliss will bring u instant peace.
    i will pray for u my dear sister. Plz take care and move on.

    • Assalam O Alaikum,
      Rasulullah said: "Even the miscarried fetus will drag it's mother towards jannah if she exercised patience with the hope of acquiring rewards."

      Muhammad1982,
      Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

    • yes u r right he was not a good man. his behaviour was very cheap. i always thought of him as my own husband.. the eternal husband but he left me just after 10 months...

  5. Asalama aleykum. Pls don't get me wrong but did the sister have abortion or miscarriage? Because sometimes she says abortion and sometimes she says miscarriage.

    • The fertilised ovum died naturally in its (aprox)5th week. It didnt devolop into an embryo but the gestation sac was still there. In short the pregnancy failed (miscarriage) so the doctors had to clean up its remains from the uterus (abortion).
      I hope im right.

  6. Jazaka Allah Kheyr @ Apple Green. If the explanation is correct then what your husband did to you is wrong. My sister in Islam Allah valued you so don't put yourself down for anybody. Fully put your trust in Allah, and you will prosper forever. May Allah wipe off all your sorrow and may Allah fill so much happiness in your life.

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