Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I divorce her?

Divorce decree

Considering divorce...

Dear sir,

Assalam u aliakum.  I am married since 20 yrs.  my wife never respected me and my parents.  Now since my parents are old and dependent on me are living with me.  But my wife did not accept this and left me.  She abuses my mother also.  Should I divorce her?




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5 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    There is not really enough detail in your account for anyone to say "yes, divorce her". The relevant question is, does she want a divorce? She left you, so if she does want one, that might be something to consider. But without knowing more details, it wouldn't be prudent for anyone to say for sure.

    -Amy Editor

  2. asalamu alaikum,

    if you no longer wish to be married to her, and she has no intention of changing her attitude etc, then yes, do what you think is best but let her know you are not happy and considering separation. see what she says, make things clear to her of your thoughts, your feeling are etc. although im surprised you said you were married 20 yrs and your wife never respected you and your parents.

    ma salama..

  3. Salamalakom brother,

    Ur parents r ur duty, our beloved prophet pbuh, said
    Ur mother ur mother ur mother ur father

    Any god fearing wife would except this

    May Allah swt guide her

    • Salaams,

      I would argue that the mother's rights do not trump the wife's rights in all cases. His mother is primarily the responsibility of his father, and if he cannot care for her then all sons should share the responsibility equitably. The wife is not required to surrender all her rights in favor of her mother in law's rights. Things need to be negotiated in a cooperative way so that no one feels slighted nor overburdened.

      -Amy Editor

    • Respect and Love are not limited resources that have to be stolen or taken from one to give to another. A mother is respected & loved to the highest degree without having to steal respect and love from someone else in order for her to attain it. Any person that shows respect to their parents by disrespecting others like their spouse lacks the maturity in understanding what true respect and love is.

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