Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I Get To Know Him?

Man saying dua

I am a single muslimah 19-years old, and I am interested in someone that I know on twitter. We don't know each other in person, neither have we spoke to each other on private. He's a one year revert who is also seeking someone to marry.

I grew interested in him through his posts, knowledge and humble character. I have asked him a lot of questions with regarding his desire for future spouse, and race isn't an issue for him, he mostly seeks religion and manners.

I've grown to have so much respect for him seeing his love for the religion and his willingness to learn more. I personally don't have  any objection marrying a revert. We don't live in the same country and I would like to get to know him first before I tell my parents, but how? should I message him? how do we get to know each other? and how do I know if he truly is as religiously commited as he seems?


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8 Responses »

  1. I think your advice is good, she should focus on her career and building a better relationship with Allah
    But this "To actual like someone from twitter is pathetic." was unnecessary!
    When trying to advice someone specially the younger ones we should consider that fact that they need guidance not criticism

  2. It is really naive to like someone on twitter.

    And, "getting to know someone BEFORE you tell your parents" is never ever a good idea. I also agree with damco, twitter is a pretty vague social media outlet, he can be posting his stuff but you don't know anything about his manners or his character in person, which is very very important. As a convert, a lot of times converts have some real issues from their past.

    You said you haven't talked to him privately? Well good, don't ever, that's not even Islamic ally acceptable. It works best if someone comes to your family and asks about you. You're still very young, ask Allah to bring you sabr and to help guide you to what is right for you.

    And please stop talking to this person...there are so many risks and you are a young woman. If you insist on continuing, then TELL YOUR PARENTS. Don't do this privately because it will not go well for you.

    • I edited your comment slightly. If people cannot be kind when giving advice, then the advice is useless. Try to exercise compassion.

      Wael Editor

      • That's fine. I was actually referring to a comment by someone else who said she was being. But since his comment is gone then the edit doesn't make me look like a jerk haha.

    • "As a convert, a lot of times converts have some real issues from their past."
      I'm sorry to desagree with you on this but that isn't necessarily true!
      I'm a convert and I wouldn't think of my self as someone with issues from the past and there is plenty of born Muslims who have plenty of issues in their past and present!

      Everything else is great advice I hope our sister can see that.

      • I didn't say all the time, I didn't even say most of the time. I'm also a convert and I know many many converts. It's just something to think about.

        • This is indeed true but not just on the reverts but also on born Muslims!
          There is no difference between reverts and born Muslims we both sin equally so to make that comment was irrelevant

  3. Dear MissMaria,

    Unfortunately you don't know him (via school, college, university, work), nobody knows him.

    All you know is his twitter POSTS. Which in actual fact maybe just words and not actions or the actual quality or attractiveness of the person in real life.

    My advice to you is to unfollow him because you have unknowingly built online feelings for him. Please don't make your simple life complicated. Please stop messaging him. Please don't use your source of energy on someone that you don't know.

    But if you are still insisting that you may think he be the one for you, then you have to get your parents involved immediately. You have to be brave enough to go and tell your parents that you like someone from social media and that you think he may be good for you and that you want them to talk to this guy in person (in real, face to face). You and your parents may have to go to his country to see his actual life style, etc.. This is a BIG DEAL. So you have put every effort that he is genuinely and sincerely good for you as husband and as family man.

    You have to get your parents involved before you communicate any further with this online guy. Your parents input is verřŕy important. If your parents says "no" then i would say it should be a "no" for you too. And let the guy go his way and you go your way.

    Please don't waste your time.

    Best wishes.

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