Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I go back to my first husband?

Muslim woman in hijab

I was 17 years old when I got arranged married. I fell in love with my husband after I got married, we were so happy together. Sometime later I found out he was in relation with someone else too. He was also abusive with me, get angry hit me etc. I left him and went to live with my parents. After few months.

My family decided we should give our relation another go. But I was so angry at him I didn't let it work. I took divorce from him.

5 years past he got married to another women on his family wish. He also has a baby son now. I know I should not talk to him but when ever I used to miss him I used to message him and ask how he is.

After 7 years my family forced me and got me to marry another man. As I was not happy and was feeling suffocated I broke the marriage . I also have a daughter from marriage who is now 6 years old. I never allowed her to see her father. After I broke my 2nd marriage my family is upset with me and does not want to keep in contact.

My 1st husband wants me to come back to him he is sorry for all his misbehaviour. And wants to give me and his daughter a family.

I don't know what to do as he has 2nd wife and she has no problem with him remarrying me. As my daughter is concerened she also wants to live with her father and get to know him. But my mum dad dont like my 1st husband or his family. I am scared as if I do go back to him they will get more angry with me. And if I should go back or just live with my mum as I do not want to marry any other man.

Please help.

Sabah2016


Tagged as: , , , , , , , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. you are not emotionally stable, you make decisions in a hurry. i think you should nt marry him he is married now , can cause many problems in terms of jealousy

  2. Sweetheart do an istekhara

  3. Salam alaikum,

    Take it slowly, sister Sabah. Consider the conditions which made you leave the first husband. Firstly, your first husband is no longer your husband, so you don't have to talk a non mahram. Consider how the other wife is feeling betrayed when her husband talks to you romantically. Second, he has problems with anger, jealousy, and hitting you, which will only increase with the added pressure of supporting a second wife at the same time as you. Thirdly, you do not want to expose your daughter to such emotionally wreckless behaviors, because she is young and still learning how to behave herself. You have a daughter now who needs to be protected. You cannot go flying off to fast surprise decisions without very solid reasons for doing so.

    If you still feel like remarrying your first husband, do istikharah. You can also have an imam inspect your first husband to see if his character is worthy of taking you back. Be very cautious to take back someone who beat you. If the imam says the man is good, then have a premarriage cousing session, and see what the counselor says. Get as many opinions as possible.

    Salam sister,
    Shereen

Leave a Response