Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I go for divorce or not?

Muslim woman in hijab

I need help on my matter. I am married almost 4 years. I had love marriage. 10 years ago it was all arranged engagement but due to some conflicts his family broke up. After three years I contacted him and he proposed me. I asked him to talk to my elder sis as she was my guardian at that time my mother was passed away a year back. Finally we got married and after three days s he flew back to uk and i was in my home country. I asked him to apply for my spouse visa. He said u not going to get it immigration is strict now a days and apply for student visa which was refused due to lots of reason. After 2 years of struggle i asked to apply again he said he will apply for france and from there he will take me. Between that he told me he had a marriage and it was just only for visa and they were not real couples.when i came here his behaviour changed. As i dont have anyone here. He started abusing me emotionally.He used to visit me after months. Making promises for days that he will come and could never show up not on any occasion eid, birthdays and anniversaries. All i was getting from him was house rent and food. I thought things will be alright. I kept asking him when can u take me with you and he always made my hopes high and on specified time he starts ignoring me. We just only have contact by phone and text and he didnt visit me its usually after 2 months he used to come for 24 hrs. I asked him if you have a wife and kids there let me know. As he acts strange when he is with me trying to hide his phone making calls outside of the house. He has stopped me having kids. And i m nearly 40. I tried to talk to him but he calls me psycho and drama if i talk about kids and living together. In this situation should i go for divorce or not?

sara110

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2 Responses »

  1. You are 40 years old and you want to have children...in that case, yes, I would advice you to stop wasting more time on your husband. Actually, even if you were 20 I would advice you to not waste time on this man. A man and wife should not live apart for so long, and, more importantly, a husband should treat his wife a lot better than your husband is treating you. I would advice you to move on.

  2. Hi,
    I read your story, and it is just like mine on the other side.
    You may loved and love him, but he has build up diferent type of life. Probably he married you just because his family wanted a pakistani wife. No, his other marriage not just for the visa, that is a real functional marriage probably with kids and he probably told his other wife who is legally his wife that he is married you just because of his mother, father, community and it is just a formality.....
    I feel sorry for you and feel anger over this kind of selfish creature as your husband and mine. Only they got everything.Mine did the same but Iam the uk wife. He stollen 2 years from my life.
    My advice from the other side is, if you want children, yes ask for divorce! He isnt going to change and you just wasting your time also in the main time you have no strong family behinde you to knok on his nose.
    Sorry if my answer a bit apsetting.
    Good luck and Allah help you!

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