Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I go with istikhara or my feelings?

English Translation of the Dua for Istikhaarah

Dua for Istikhaarah


I have a question regarding istikhara!

I did istikhara for an issue for about 4 times and every time the same answer used to come but I am not satisfied with this answer I guess it won't be a better choice for me despite of the answer I am feeling negative vibes if I go with it I am too confused about what to do should I go with istikhara or with my feelings.

waiting for the reply



Tagged as: , , , , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaykum Meehtkh,

    Your feelings following the Istikhara prayer and dua ARE the result of the Istikhara. Following the prayer, the answer to the Istikhara includes events and things as they unfold naturally, including your feelings.

    So smile and confidently go in the direction of your feelings 🙂



  2. Hello Meehtfkh,

    I am not a muslim woman. I am a Christian Orthodox faithful woman. I am not here to criticize you, but I would like to offer you my help and opinion, and I will try to be as objective as possible.
    Of course, if you were able to share exactly and explicitly what your concerns are, this would help more understand the issue and the guidance.
    However, I will tell you my point of view, as Christian woman. In Christianity, we are taught to love one another, to forgive one another, to not seek revenge and to not say or do harm to another. The reality is that it is hard sometimes to see harm and be quiet, hard to forgive instantly and move on. I am 31 years old, and I do believe in my Christianity, and I do the best to apply my religion in my daily life. I have been through a lot in my life, but I came to the point where I realized that not matter what you or say or act, having a revengeful spirit is not healthy for you or anyone else. Instead, yes, learn to forgive and move on. You can forgive, but you don't have to forget. Also, you can set boundaries, without having to cause harm to anyone.
    I believe if each one of us did an act of kindness towards strangers that we encounter everyday, the world would be in a better place.
    Now, maybe I needed to talk and thank you for being patient, and understanding and reading me. Let me get back to my point... I don't know what "Istikhara" in your religion means. But I do speak Arabic and understand Arabic. The meaning of "Istikhara" comes from "Yastakhri". In English "yastakhri" means that one treats others with no respect and considers him/herself better than others, and looks at others from above with disgust.
    I am not trying to criticize your religion. I was just surprised to see that. And I was interested to read more about it. I looked up the word and it led me in "Ayat minal Quran". I was more surprised. Again I am familiar with your religion, but I am not Muslim myself. Anyways, what I try to say is, I do not understand how muslims in the world learn the Quran and to follow the Quran without understanding what they are being taught. Again, there is no attack in my words, and there is no crititcism aimed at you or anyone else.
    But regarding your post, I would say, if you tried this 4 times and the 4 attempts of resolving the same issue you are dealing with, and you are not convinced, then you can keep on trying 1000s times, it won't change the outcome of your feelings every single time during those 1000 future attempts. If you are not convinced, follow your intuition. Intuition can very rarely fool someone. If you feel negative vibes with going towards a direction, do not voluntarily throw yourself to the wrong negative direction, just because of what you were taught. Maybe the prayer that you made, and the outcome that you received were perceived differently than what you should have. I don't know. But 4 times you did. Your feelings can go wrong honey. If you are confused and feel this will lead you to negative vibes, don't do it. Instead, take a deep breath, re-evaluate the situation, re-evaluate your options, try to be objective and follow your intuition.
    If you don't mind sharing the exact issue with me, I might be able to give you an outside opinion of the matter, but I would need all the facts laid out in front of me, to be able to help specifically.
    May you find peace and answers to your prayers and solutions to your problems. May God bless you and enlighten you towards the right path.

    • "Anonymous," you are confused. The word istikhara from the root khayr meaning good. Istikhara is a prayer in which one asks Allah to show him/her which choice is good or right in a certain situation. After making this prayer, one should proceed with whatever choice he/she feels is best, trusting her own judgment and trust in God to guide her to what is best.

      So please do not come to this website in the guise of "trying to help," while actually making subtly critical remarks about Islam and Muslims. If you are not able to put aside your biases and respect other people's religious choices, then your input is not welcome here.

      Wael Editor

Leave a Response