Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I marry a girl who had sex with another boy before?

Question mark in the sky


I love a girl so much. She did sex in his past. My friends told me about this.

I don't want to lose her. Tell me Brothers/Sisters should i marry her or not?

She said me she loves me too much but did not tell me about her past life. Brother/sisters give me a good advice to satisfy me what i do?

- emotions

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6 Responses »

  1. Brother I would like you to suggest to ask her directly. You should not relay on third party says not necessary that what they say it's true. Ask her if she agree ask her to do sincere tawba and ask for Allah's forgiveness. After that weather you want to marry her or not it's totally up to you non of us can say you should or should not.

    Just remember brother that From among the teachings of Allah’ messenger said is to keep sins a secret matter. If someone commits a sinful act which is against the Commandments of Allah, or is against the moral character, or is such an act that may cause harm to one’s honor, then he should keep it a secret and seek forgiveness from Allah in the darkness of night.
    he Messenger of Allah said: “My entire nation is safe, except al-Mujahirin (those who boast of their sins). Among the Mujaharah is that a man commits an (evil) act, and wakes up in the morning while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret, he says: “O so-and-so! Last night I did this and that.” He goes to sleep while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret but he wakes up in the morning and uncovers what Allah has kept a secret!” [Saheeh al-Bukhari]
    Abdullah Ibn Masoud related, ‘A man came to the Prophet and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of al-Medina, and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.’ Umar Ibn al-Khattab then said: ‘Allah had kept your secret, why did not you keep your secret?’ [Sharh Muslim] Similarly, if one becomes aware of somebody else’s sin, he should keep it a secret. Allah’s Messenger said: “He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (world) for a believer, Allah will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter …” [Muslim]

    Allah says, Do not reveal your sins (whether major or minor), not even to your close ones such as your spouse or parents. Ask Allah for the forgiveness for the sins you committed and also ask Allah to help you to save from the same in the future
    Hide and do not reveal the sins of your Muslim brothers and sisters, and non-Muslims, to others.

  2. Sometimes one commits a great sin at a young age because in our teenage years we are over emotional and often regret alot of things we do. You should ask her directly in a calm way, and she can explain what this relation met to her. I dont think u can judge a person by their past mistakes you have to look at how she acted after did she truly repeat etc. It is inevitable that we all make mistakes so it is unfair to judge a person by their mistake but judge them by the way they acted towards the mistake

    Take care and think hard my brother

  3. Assalam'alaykum,

    It is not permissible to marry a zaaniyah(fornicatress) unless they have repented. If the woman has not repented then the marriage is not valid.

    Allah says:

    “The adulterer/fornicator marries none but an adulteress/fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress/fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer/fornicator or a Mushrik, Such a thing is forbidden to the believers ”
    [al-Noor 24:3]

    "Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable". ( al-Noor 24:26)

    There is a report concerning the reason for the revelation of this verse which makes the ruling clearer. Abu Dawood (2051) narrated from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb, from his father, from his grandfather, that Marthad ibn Abi Marthad al-Ghanawi used to smuggle prisoners from Makkah. There was in Makkah a prostitute called ‘Anaaq and she had been his friend. He said: I came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, should I marry ‘Anaaq? He remained silent and did not answer me. Then the words “and the adulteress/fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer/ fornicateror a Mushrik” were revealed. He called me and recited them to me, and said: Do not marry her. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

    In ‘Awn al-Ma’bood it says:
    This indicates that it is not permissible for a man to marry a woman who has committed zina. This is indicated by the verse quoted in the hadeeth, because at the end of it, it says: “Such a thing is forbidden to the believers”. This clearly shows that it is haraam.

    Al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on the verse quoted above:
    This shows that zina is abhorrent and that it tarnishes the honour of the one who does it in a way that other sins do not. No one should marry a zaaniyah but a zaani or a mushrik. “Such a thing is forbidden to the believers” means: it is forbidden for them to marry zaaniyahs for they disobeyed Allah.

    What the verse means is that the one who marries a person, man or woman, who has committed zina and has not repented from that must be either a person who is not adhering to the rulings of Allaah and His Messenger, so he cannot be anything but a mushrik, or he is adhering to the laws of Allaah and His Messenger but he goes ahead with this marriage even though he knows about this zina, in which case the marriage is zina and immorality. If he were truly a believer in Allaah, he would not do that.
    This clearly indicates that it is haraam to marry a zaaniyah(fornicatress) until she repents, because the partnership between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband is the closest of partnerships. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Assemble those who did wrong, together with their companions” [al-Saaffaat 37:22]. Therefore Allah has forbidden that because of the great evil that it involves.

    Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said something similar, and said that the meaning of the verse is that the one who believes that it is haraam to marry a zaaniyah(fornicatress) but still marries her has entered into a haraam marriage contract which he believes is haraam. A haraam contract is like one that does not exist, so it is not permissible for him to be intimate with the woman; in that case the man will be a zaani.
    But if he denies that it is haraam to marry a zaaniyah and says that it is permissible, then in this case the man is a mushrik, because he has declared permissible something that Allah has forbidden and has made himself a lawmaker along with Allah.

    Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
    Because of the punishment that Allah has decreed for those who commit zina, He made it haraam for the believers to marry them, as a rebuke to them and because of the sins and bad deeds that they have. … So (Allah) tells us that no one does that but a zaani or a mushrik.
    Therefore, to conclude,
    Marriage to a zaaniyah is haraam unless she repents. This is correct view, and it is the view of a number of the earlier and later generations, including Ahmad ibn Hanbal and others. This is what is indicated by the Qur’aan and Sunnah.

    Therefore, If you believe that she has truly repented and became a better muslimah internally and externally, then you may marry her by approaching her family and doing everything the Islamic way. If you think that, her past sins might cause you distress in the future, then dont marry her. But remember, do not hold her past sins to blackmail her etc later as it is a sin and Allah will be very angry at you. If her past sins is distracting you now, then dont marry her. First confirm that she sinned. For now, do not continue this haram relationship with her. You've got to repent too. Fear Allah and do your duties. Have patience and pray Isthikhara before marrying.

  4. Assalamualaikum,

    Did those friends see her do the sin? If no, and they are just presuming, then the accusation is wrong. If there are witnesses to it then it maybe considered and you can forget about Nikah with her, as long as she does Tawbah. Even otherwise, you are not advised to be in contact with her personally. You could approach her father/her Wali and propose a Nikah with her.

    Do not accuse anyone of having done Zina, as long as you have enough evidence/witnesses. And even if this was true, avoid speaking about it to anyone. Concealing a fellow believer's faults results in Allah concealing our faults on the Day of Resurrection.

    Muhammad Waseem Editor

  5. Assalam-o-Alaikum . bro . everyone is right here, but just wanna say . if you Going to marry her . dont ever let her know that you know that . unless she claims iherself . saying this coz I had searched the answer by myself . and having a happy life . dont ever hurt her .
    Fi Amman ALLAH ..
    ALLAH knows the rest .
    ALLAH Hafiz

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