Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I marry a man 16 years older

as Salaamu alaikum,

I am a female aged 24 and like a man 16 years older than me. I have known him for 3 years through work and he asked me about marriage. We just get on and have similar personality and outlook. We both did istikhara which he discussed with his Mufti at the mosque who said it was a good sign and to go ahead with the marriage. The families met and my family really liked him but when they found out his age they point blank refused. If they are happy with his character and deen surely they cannot refuse just because of age because before they assumed he was 8 or 9 years oldee before he told them and they were very happy to say yes. They are saying he will look like my father and the kids grandfather and become old and I will have to do everything and have a miserable life.

Everything for me about him is perfect apart from age but we get on so well and are like the same person just different ages. Looks and health are not guaranteed for anyone and I know he would be my side through anything and he has a great mindset where religion is his primary goal and not worldly things and he said that we should work to attain jannah together as this life is short and there we will have the perfect version of each other for a lifetime. I admire him and I know he would make me his prioroty and keep me happy. At the moment from looks people assume we just have a few years difference as I look older and I am mature due to a difficult childhood.

If I like everything else about him and think we are compatible should I ignore what my family say about age? We have both performed istikhara again and both feel positive about it and feel at ease when we think about the marriage.  I do not know how to convince them - if anyone could help?. Does anyone have similar age gap in their marriage and been successful?


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3 Responses »

  1. You should tell your parents about positive isteekhara and also tell your elder family member who,s can understand your situation and you can trust him/her and tell your family if he is educated and ALLAH Fearing person it is not wrong if he is older then me he has good moral islam fo not say that we should marriage same age but islam prefer good moral there is no way except talk with any family member.

  2. He is way too old for you. In a few years you will regret it.

  3. If you are feeling positive about him and he is fit and healthy and you are sexually attracted then i think you should go ahead and marry him. Good chemistry will make it great than age .

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