Should I marry a man who my parents say or should I marry the man of my love?
Assalam alaikum
I m 20 years girl. I m in a serious relationship with a non muslim guy for the past 2 and a half years. Having my family situation on my mind I regretted his proposal at first! Later I started falling for him. On our first anniversary he got converted to Islam completely. He first asked me to move in with him, I regretted it! Later once we happened to be alone at his friend's place where I lost my control and lost my virginity. I didnt bleed at that time. To add a note I m a sports Person so may be I didnt bleed. We happen to do this quite often, more than 50 times we would have did it.
Recently my dad got to know about my love, he took my phone and read my chat with him! After that he stopped my studies and took my phone and house arrested me! Now they are searching alliance for me.
I still love him from my heart and I cant forget him but I have a strong feeling that my dad won't allow me get married to him. He got converted for me I can't leave him. after getting caught only I realized how big mistake I have done by losing my virginity. I pray god to forgive my sins. what should I do now? Please say me a solution.
Rahi123
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He converted for you?
I feel like this is some trick but I don't know what's in his heart. Only Allah.
I wonder if you understand how serious this is. He asked you to move in? You were alone together? You lost your virginity to him? But You love him? This is definitely not acceptable. I don't even know you and I'm extremely disappointed.
I'm well acquainted with this one, unfortunately. Once you've had sex, 1. There is no taking it back and 2. It becomes normal and you do it willingly. 3. Then, you become attached more severely and it's difficult to break away even if it is toxic. This is why sexual relationships are reserved for marriage only. Your virginity could've been your salvation for the afterlife. Allah guarantees paradise for those who preserve their chastity. Your virginity is priceless and you sold it away for cheap. For words?
If you can marry the guy and he is sincere about the religion, then you should just marry him as soon as possible before you continue to commit the sin have him to come to your home and apologize to your family and ask your family if he can take you in marriage. This is why we don't keep these things secret. It would've been better for you to tell your family right away about him, so that they could've protected you from this ugly sin. You don't seem remorseful as you haven't mentioned taubah. At all. Even in other posts they seem remorseful about committing Zina. You're not interested in getting away from the sin? Only if you should marry him?
If your family doesn't accept. Repent to Allah and detach from the boy. It really seems to me that he doesn't care much for learning the religion as he is interested in taking you away from it. This sin is one of the biggest major sins, I'm really disappointed. Before you get excited about someone accepting Islam and throwing your life and akhira away for them, you should probably study your religion for yourself.
You know the right answer.
To say she isnt remorseful is unjustified tbh, and we cant assume hoe a person feels just by a small description they post on here.
However I do agree with most of what you have said.
Sister all you need to repent and rely on Allah. Pray Istikharah and whatevers best for you Allah will uide you Insha'Allah. Use this a means to get closer to the one who created you ... Don't let this opportunity of sadness and regret go to waste - spea to your lord.
May Allah SWT guide you and make you the best if Muslims ... Ameen.
Rahi; He got converted for me I can't leave him. after getting caught only I realized how big mistake I have done by losing my virginity......we happened to be alone at his friend's place where I lost my control and lost my virginity. I didn't bleed at that time. To add a note I m a sports Person so may be I didn't bleed. We happen to do this quite often, more than 50 times we would have did it.
You had sex with him, so in a way you are married him. Many Muslim families even refuse to marry their daughters to born Muslims who may have good character, good job because they prefer to marry in the family. So the guy being a convert may not be the issue here.
What are you talking about? How by just having intercourse do you get married to someone?
Salam Sister,
simple solution to any problem is thakwa (fear allah and do to please Allah). Who send the problem ? Allah! who take away it ? Allah!
So ask duaa (supplication), do isthigfar lot . Allah is waiting for our call. He likes the one who did sin and ask for forgiveness genuinely.
Always marry with Parents consent (if they are practising muslim)