Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I marry for love or follow my parent’s wishes?

Hindu devotees offer prayers on the occasion of the festival of Chhat, dedicated to the worship of the Sun God, as they stand in the River Ganges in Allahabad, India

Salaam everyone, I am a muslim boy who wants to marry a Hindu girl. The time when we thought of  being with each other for life and get married. I told her that it is going to be difficult for me to marry you because there are few expectations that my parents and family would have from you and I am not too sure if you will be able to fulfil them.

I told her about all that my family would expect out of her if we get married and the first and foremost thing is that she will have to get converted into Islam and then religiously follow everything that islam religion preaches. She agreed to it and has already started  knowing about Islam, the history of Islam and other preachings of islam. Its been 5-6 months that she has started following things and few of those things she does on a regular basis is that she has learned few surah's which she recites everyday. She reads Surah e yaseen everyday. She reads dus e kumail every friday and few other surah's on daily basis. She says that since the time she has started learning about Islam she has started to develop a faith in Islam and she tries to convince me that she is not doing all this only for the sake of marrying me but she also has faith in it and would continue to do everything lifelong.

Things were going smooth until last month when i told my parents about marrying her. My mother and my sister have somehow agreed to this alliance for my happiness but my father is not at all agreeing. He is thinking about the society and family and is not able to accept it. At one time he says fine if its about your happiness then we will not say anything and at the very next moment he starts opposing it. Since I am the only child to my parents they say they have dreamed of me marrying someone of their choice ( Of course a muslim) and how can I make them unhappy and marry this girl.

I am now in a dilemma as to whether I should marry this girl or for my parents happiness if I should leave her because I am afraid that if I get married to this girl then they will be so disheartened that I went against my parent's wish and my decision should not have a severe effect on their health. I am sure that if i get married to this girl then after few years when they see her following everything the right way they will be happy but as for now I am not able to decide.

I need genuine advice because I cannot even leave this girl who has already started following Islam.

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2 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    You are giving a very confusing description of this girl. You are calling her a Hindu, all the while saying she is following Islam. If someone is following Islam and believes in the tenants of Islam, they are Muslim. If this is the case with her, you should be calling her a Muslim and not Hindu. You said your parents wanted you to marry a Muslim, so if she is indeed a Muslim there should be no issue with that.

    If she is in fact not Muslim, meaning that she is doing a few acts of worship but has not declared her essential belief in the Oneness of Allah and the advent of His Messenger, this means she is still Hindu. If she is Hindu, you can't even marry her because she is neither Muslim nor Ahl-al-Kitab.

    You should show respect to your father above your own wishes, especially if it will have an impact on his physical health. You should be less concerned about her outcome religiously because if Allah is guiding her, she is in His hands from time immortal. You are better of being obedient to Him by honoring your parents, instead of pushing for a relationship that doesn't seem to be in order for you at this time. If your parents just need to see that she will be sincere about her faith in Islam, they will be able to see that without you necessarily having to marry her. Then, once they are comfortable and secure that she is a good choice for you, you can marry her with a free conscience and their blessing insha'Allah.

    -Amy Editor

  2. ali2014,

    love a girl? and she is hindu. you think about your family also.

    a muslim can't marry a kafiir (no beleif in islam) . a muslim should love allah first .then mohammad[pbuh] .
    you can't be moomeen -muslim without loving them in first priority (even before yourself).

    what is your aim in life ; to marry a girl (you told she is hindu) or to be a moomeen -muslim ? you can can marry her after she becoming muslim. it is not nessesary for muslim man to take the permission from his family.but keep in mind, you can't forget your duty to parents(may they muslim or not) .

    without marrige a girl is haram for you.

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