Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I marry him or not?


I am engaged to my cousin, its totally my family choice but I accept it with my heart but later when I talked to him then I found that he doesn't follow the Islam, he didnt follow any law of islam and he is also somehow against the muslims and islam. He lives in US and wants to be like them. He also have a friendship with alot of girls and go to clubs but I dont know whether he drinks or not. But I saw his picture with a christian girl who is sitting on his lap and he has no issue with this, he said that she is just his friend and they are partying. Plz help me what should I do, do I marry him or not because I Dont want to go against my mother as she is everything to me, and I want to do anything for her, I cant hurt her. But I am so scared because its about my future. Plz need opinions


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4 Responses »

  1. I dont think you should go ahead as this is a life time thing its you thats going 2 spend lifetime with him not anyone else

  2. As salam O Alaikum

    Sister dont marry him rather dont even think of marrying him. In one sentence i will conclude my part by saying ..

    Show the image which you saw of him with a Christian Girl to your mom as well as family. They started this story, so they will only end it ( Provided they are true followers of Islam and not just namesake Moslems ).

    Wa Salam

  3. Asalaamu alaikum. The family is meant to check how a man is before they marry their daughter off for this reason! So if they know the truth about him they would say no. Tell them the truth about him so they stop asking you and understand why you said no. And dont go ahead with this you are meant to marry for the sake of Allah as a means of worship. We are meant to marry someone who will help our islam, not ruin it. Say no, there are so many who married anyway thinking its pleasing parents and then have a miserable life. Its your life not a game. Be careful and sensible. All the best. Allah make it easy for you.

  4. Dear Benish,

    Take a picture where you are sitting on a guys lap or he on yours and then tell him he is just your friend. I tell you he will go mad! - but don't ever come down to his level, but something to reflect on.

    Based on what you shared, my advice is that you should please give his ring and any gifts he gifted you to your respected family to kindly return back to this guy and his family. Basically, break off this engagement.

    If your family or your respected mother asks you why, just say, he is on another level. We won't work. I can't stand these kind of guys let alone marrying these kind. I want someone who is good practising Muslim, someone who is God fearing, someone who is already responsible, mature, family oriented with no significant bad habits. And this guy certainly have none of these attributes, so I decided to break this engagement.

    And then let your family sort out the rest with your cousin's family. Basically, expect some angry moments between your family and your cousin's family.

    Remember you are doing this first and foremost for yourself (your happiness is important, so be selfish if you need to be) and secondly for your mother because your mother won't be happy if you are not happy in your marriage, in Shaa Allah.

    And when you meet your cousin's family after breaking off your engagement just say your hi and hello as usual (ie maintain your kinship respect as much as possible). This will be tricky and awkward but you do your level best.


    Best wishes,


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